Pillow Talk
by BlueBlood82
Summary: A series of stories beginning with Power Players that assumes Jamie and Eddie have taken the next step in their relationship. This series will show the effect of the episodes events on their budding relationship. Please R/R!
1. Power Players

**A/N: This will be a series of one shot stories assuming our favorite couple began a couple at the end of Power Players, but chose to remain partners as well. A little OOC for Jamie but sometimes love makes us do strange things. The series will show how Jamie and Eddie navigate their budding romance against the backdrop of events in the actual series.**

 **Once again, thanks to Lawslave for offering her feedback.**

 **Pillow Talk – Power Players**

With each sob Jamie felt his gut clench. He knew there was no way that Eddie was going to be okay after what she went through. He had a lot more time on the job than she had when he made his first kill but it was still a long time before he was okay.

Jamie stroked Eddie's arm and her hair interchangeably trying to offer whatever comfort he could through actions, not words. Nothing he could say to her would help now, he had to show her he was there and absorb as much of her pain as he could.

When Eddie's tears started to subside, Jamie felt her body growing heavier against him. She was starting to doze off. "Lie down," he whispered not wanting to startle her or jar her out of her sleep. When Eddie whimpered in fear that she was losing precious contact with the only person she trusted to keep the nightmares at bay. "Lie down here on the couch, put your head in my lap," Jamie offered. "And sleep, just sleep, I'm not going anywhere."

Eddie shifted and did as Jamie asked. "Talk to me," she whispered not feeling shy at all about snuggling into his lap. Jamie brought a hand up to stroke her head. "I don't care what about."

Jamie sighed, "I don't know what to say." Something about having his beautiful partner in his arms, vulnerable and in need of his attention and affection rendered him all but speechless. If he started talking now, too many things would come out, things he knew better than to say.

"You don't have to say anything, just talk," Eddie sighed and shut her eyes relishing the feel of Jamie's closeness. She dreamt of this time, when she could be close to her partner and friend in a way far beyond the confines of their relationship. It was easy to pretend he was her boyfriend, that he loved her and cherished her with her head cradled in his lap and her eyes shut, his fingers combing her hair, his soft voice talking about anything and nothing all at once. It was easy to forget just a few days ago she took a life.

Jamie didn't have to talk for long, Eddie quickly fell back to sleep. The faint light in the apartment made her blonde hair shine and her skin seems to sparkle even with the fatigue she had to be feeling. Curled up like she was, she looked so small, too small to be a strong capable NYPD officer. She looked like someone he had to protect, someone that needed him.

Eddie shifted in her sleep and let out a small whimper. "Ssh," Jamie crooned trying to insure she remained in a deep healing sleep. "Ssh, I've got you. It's all right."

His level tone and gentle touch seemed to have the desired effect, Eddie soon quieted and burrowed even closer.

Jamie watched Eddie sleep all night. Whenever she would whimper or cry out, even a little, he would jump into action to make sure that she slept on and did not relive that awful event yet again.

Jamie fell asleep just before dawn, Eddie's head still in his lap, his arm protectively wrapped around her middle. When the first rays of sunshine peaked in through the apartment window, Eddie stirred. She was stiff from sleeping in a curled position and was a little shocked to find herself still in Jamie's arms.

Carefully, she extricated herself from his grasp, started the coffee and used the bathroom. She looked better; she felt better. A good cry and a good night sleep had done her a world of good. Having those things with her partner and best friend at her side was just icing on the cake.

The aroma of freshly brewing coffee teased Jamie's nostrils. He opened his eyes and looked around for Eddie. He found her in the kitchen preparing French toast and sausage. "Hey," Jamie greeted wiping the sleep out of his eyes. "You didn't have to do that. You've had a rough couple of days, why don't you go stretch out in bed I'll be right here."

Eddie smiled, "You were…" She swallowed and tried again. "You were amazing last night. Even I didn't know what I needed but you figured it out just by looking…"

"I'm your partner," Jamie shrugged.

"Yeah…" Eddie smiled. "You are my partner and you know what else, you're my best friend. I love you, Jamie. Not…in a bad way, a forbidden way…" Her mouth denied those feelings but the look on her face said something else entirely.

"Eddie, if we weren't partners, I'd have asked you out a year ago. You are beautiful, smart, funny….and that last couple of days, I've seen the human side, the soft side of Edit Janko, and I liked it. I liked it a lot. "

Eddie couldn't help but blush. She looked down at her hands. They were still for the first time in days. "Jamie, I…"

Jamie reached out and cupped Eddie's cheek, "Eddie…you don't know how much I wish I could make this work out."

"Jamie, listen," Eddie replied on a soft sigh. She moved her hand up to cover his. "If you had asked me out a year ago, I would have said no. I wasn't in the place where I felt that I could…be what you need. I still don't' know that I'm girlfriend material."

"Let's sit on the couch and talk about it." Jamie took her hand in his and led her to the sofa. It hurt that she felt she wasn't good enough to be his girlfriend. For him, the only obstacle was their partnership.

Jamie sat on the couch and held her hands, "Eddie, please don't say things like that about yourself, okay? You are beautiful, you are bright, you are the light of my life. Seeing you in such pain the last few days, it's like I felt it right along with you. While you were sleeping last night, I thought about that and I thought about everything we've gone through together…from that first night when we watched Officer Collins die to you going to see your father…"

"Jamie, we became really great friends…"

"No," Jamie said firmly. "It is not just that anymore, and you know it. That's why you wanted me here last night, you wanted to stay in my arms and feel the same thing I felt while I held you."

Jamie moved closer to Eddie, "This stuff with your Dad, it's no reflection on you…I don't judge you, no one worth giving you their opinion would."

Eddie reached up and brushed away a tear. "Jamie, that's not it…" she sighed. "It's not it at all. Jamie I would love to see where this leads, I really would, but…you are all I've got. You are the only family that I really have and if we try this and it doesn't work out. I lose my partner, my best friend, and my boyfriend in one swoop."

Jamie pulled Eddie into his arms, "We don't have to do anything you aren't ready to do. I would love for us to give this a shot, to see where it can go, but I respect your fears too. If we break up, I have my dad, my brother…I understand."

Eddie relished the feeling of being in Jamie's arms, how could she turn this down when it felt so right.

"What if we gave it a try, but on the down low. We stayed partners until we were sure we could carry the ball over the line?" Eddie asked. "Is that something you would consider?"

That would break so many rules, Jamie thought to himself and he wasn't the type to do that just to be with a girl. Still, maybe Erin was right. Maybe it was time to follow his heart.

"Yes," Jamie replied after about five minutes of silence. "Yes I would. If we didn't…make it then we are both adults we could keep it professional, but I think you'll see that we are going to make it. I think after a month or so you'll see we are going to be okay."

Eddie looked up into Jamie's shining eyes and smiled, "So now what do we do? We are an official couple now?"

Jamie nodded, "We are…and now, Edit Janko, I buy my partner breakfast. Put the French toast in freezer it'll keep."

Eddie dressed while Jamie wrapped the French toast and put it in the freezer for late night snacks. He was still in shock that he agreed to that, that he agreed to break the rules and keep such a secret, but if that would help Eddie see they were meant to be together, well, then it would prove to be worth it after all.

Eddie stepped out of the bedroom in a pair of jeans, a baby pink top and sneakers. She looked like the all American girl next door. Jamie felt his heart jump. He crossed the room and reached out to take her hands in his, "I promise you Eddie," he told her gently. "We will make this thing work, it means that much to me and I know it means a lot to you too. I give you my word, we'll make this happen between us."

Jamie cupped her cheek and ran a soft hand in her hair. His face was so close to hers that their breathing was mingled. Jamie licked his lips and bent his head to the right as Eddie's instinctively went to the left, 'What are you doing?" she asked, her voice husky.

"Sealing it with a kiss," Jamie replied as he touched his lips to hers.


	2. In the Box

In the Box

Jamie popped the tops off of two bottles of stout and dropped onto the couch next to Eddie. This week they were holed up at his place after tour trying to mix up to locations they frequented so they wouldn't be found out before they were ready to go public with their relationship.

Given Eddie's insecurities that were coming to the forefront more and more as they spent time together it would be a while before she felt secure enough to make it known they had changed their relationship.

Jamie tilted his bottle towards Eddie's bottle and clinked the glass, "To my girlfriend and partner, fundraiser of the year!" They each took a long sip of their beers. "I am so proud of what you did today, Eddie," Jamie declared. "You worked so hard to raise that money and make sure that Reginald Jackson had a proper burial…I love you for that Eddie, but I worry about you a little bit for that stuff too."

"You worry about me? Why? I just wanted to do the right thing."

"I know that, babe, I do," Jamie replied softly. "But sometimes, you remind me a little bit of me when I was first on the beat. That idealism got me burned a couple of times, I don't want you to feel like I felt when it backfired on me that's all."

Eddie smiled up at Jamie, "I know that, but it's part of who I am and if I get burned, I have you there right. I have to try to help people Jamie. I have to try to do good things for people."

Jamie nodded, he would be there for her no matter what. He put his arm around her and held her as they watched TV and drank their beers. "Are you going to go?" Jamie asked breaking the silence. "To the funeral?"

Eddie shrugged, "I don't know if it is really my place, besides I haven't been to many funerals. I haven't been to any since my Mom died."

Jamie turned to look into Eddie's eyes, "I didn't know your Mom was gone. You never really mentioned her but…"

"She died of heart disease when I was fourteen. After that it was just me and my father until he got himself arrested so it's not something I really advertise. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me."

Jamie kissed Eddie's forehead, "I don't feel sorry for you, sweetheart. I feel even more admiration for you now than I did before."

"You lost your mom young too, it shapes who you are. I know you treat women a little more gently and orphans with that much more understanding than someone else would. I guess that is something else we have in common."

Jamie agreed, "A sad thing but one more thing is right. Eddie, let me ask you a question…Your father had a lot of money that he earned fair and square. I find it hard to take that you didn't have access to three thousand dollars someplace."

"I do," Eddie replied. "I have access to a lot more money than that in stocks, bonds, trust accounts, but to me…it's all dirty money. It belonged to him at one point and even though I am answering a few of his letters, I can't bring myself to utilize anything that belongs to him. It's tainted and if I touch it, my hands are just a filthy as his were."

Eddie visibly shook herself as she spoke and rubbed her arms trying to cleanse herself of how she felt thinking of her father's crimes. Jamie held her closer and rubbed her arms for her, "It might have done good in this case, Eddie. That would be a nice way to maybe make up for some of it, if you used the money to do something good."

"If we didn't raise the money, I would have," Eddie replied. "That woman deserved it, they did nothing wrong, kind of like how I did nothing wrong but paid for his crimes anyway. Thankfully though our fellow officers had bigger hearts than we thought they did."

"This just in," the news caster began. "A hostage standoff at the NYPD 54th Detective Squad has been broke this hour when Senior Major Crimes Detective Maria Baez was freed from a five hour imprisonment by an as yet unnamed suspect…"

"Isn't that Danny's partner?" Eddie asked as both she and Jamie sat up and listened to the news report.

"Yeah, boy, I'm going to get an earful on that at Sunday dinner," Jamie sighed. "Danny had to be out of his mind. He is very protective of his partners."

"Like you are of your partners?" Eddie asked moving a little bit closer to Jamie's side.

"Not as protective as I am of my partners," Jamie replied softening his voice.

"No?" Eddie asked sliding even closer, their lips now a hair apart.

"No…" Jamie replied before tilting his head and claiming her lips in a soft yet urgent kiss.

They had not made that step in their relationship just yet, both wishing to take it slow, but with each searing kiss they grew closer and closer to taking that irrevocable step.

When they broke apart, with their foreheads pressed together, Jamie whispered softly, "If that had been you…I'd probably have gotten you killed, all I'd be able to think of was getting you back in my arms…that's a problem Danny doesn't have even as close as he is with Baez."

Eddie sighed, "I'd be beside myself too…but Jamie I'm…"

"Oh I know…I know," Jamie soothed quickly. "I know you aren't ready yet, but let's just make a pact now that if one of us ends up in that kind of hot water we just come clean with whoever is in charge so someone with a clear head can take over. That's the best way to make sure we get back to each other."

Eddie bit her lip, "Okay…that's fair. I can live with that…especially because, even after just a couple of weeks, I need you so much Jamie. I really do."

Jamie sighed and pulled Eddie onto his lap, "I need you too, Janko. I don't know if I'd be able to go on if something happened to you like it did to Vinny."

Eddie reached up and caressed Jamie's cheek, "You won't ever have to find out. I promise you that…I'm not going to leave you…not ever…"

Jamie's lips once again met Eddie's as he sighed and echoed her sentiment with his kiss.


	3. Occupational Hazard

Thanks to Lawslave for catching the many typos I made writing this chapter half asleep. Enjoy.

Occupational Hazard

"Jamie, I want you to come right inside and get some rest," Eddie ordered ushering her boyfriend into her apartment. "I don't care if he was about to blow us all to smithereens, a shoot is a traumatic thing and your blood pressure was way up when the doctor checked you."

"I know Eddie," Jamie sighed. She had been mothering him since they left the hospital after he shot and killed John Johansen. "I know, this is my second shooting incident. I had the same thing after my first. A good night's sleep is really all I need," Jamie assured her.

"Still, let me pamper you a little, huh?" she asked leading him to her sofa and propping his feet up on the couch. "You want a beer, some whiskey?" she asked.

"A shot will be nice, but Eddie," Jamie replied. "What's this all about really? You aren't usually this hyper."

"Jamie, we all almost died tonight," she replied. "This isn't the first time I had to go to the hospital with you, but it is the first time that I did it as your girlfriend. Making this official just got my…" Eddie poured two whiskeys and sat down putting Jamie's feet on her lap.

"Talk to me," Jamie said sitting up and leaning against the back of the sofa.

Eddie sighed, "I think this thing with Beth was getting to me a little bit," she sighed. "She is so lonely, she has no one. The only person she ever really had in her life died…I guess I just looked at her and saw myself."

Jamie sighed and sat up the rest of the way, "Come here," he whispered softly. "Holding you is better medicine than putting my feet up anyway." Jamie dropped a kiss on top of her head. "Listen to me, Eddie. This thing we have going here, me and you…I am in, all right? I am all in. You are not going to be like Beth Behar, all right? We are together, we have each other and when we tell my family you will have a brother and sister, a father, a grandfather, a niece and two crazy nephews…you will have a big family…"

Eddie turned in Jamie's arms and smiled. "A big family," she sighed. "I'd like that. Have you ever thought about having kids? Not with me necessarily but…"

Jamie nodded, "When Syd and I were engaged, I used to talk to her about it all the time. I want to have two kids at least, I mean I'd be happy if we had one, but I would like two at least. I loved growing up with siblings, even if Danny is a pain in the butt."

"It was always just me," Eddie replied. "I never thought of having siblings because I just never did. I think two would be just the right amount." She looked up at Jamie and he smiled.

"When you look at me like that…it warms my heart, Eddie. When you look like that it feels like if I do nothing else in the world, I am doing enough just by being with you."

"Jamie you…are…" Eddie sighed and leaned up to kiss him. Jamie wrapped Eddie up in his arms holding her tight against him. He slowly opened her mouth with his tongue, exploring her mouth more deeply than he had ever done before.

Eddie sighed into Jamie's mouth, allowing him deeper access. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. Her hands roamed over his back while his right hand came around to cup Eddie's breast. Jamie slowly massaged the orb through her shirt, enjoying the feel of her softness after a long and hard day. He missed this, having someone to come home to or in this case home with.

When Jamie pulled back, Eddie cried out at the loss. "I know, but I think considering all we have been through…"

Eddie nodded, "Yeah, I don't want the first time we make love to be the same day as when you killed someone. Today should be just for you…for me to take care of you like you took care of me."

"Eddie, my heart isn't bleeding over this guy," Jamie confessed. "He was sick, and yeah that is sad and of course I feel something over taking the guy's life but…it's not the same as the last time."

"What do you mean, babe?" Eddie asked letting the endearment slip in the intensity of the moment. Jamie was always the one to support her, now it was her turn to listen to him.

"I mean, the last time I shot the guy, he had a family, two kids, a wife…he was just really in a terrible place. If I had asked a question or had been trained to spot it a little bit better, maybe I could have talked him down, but Johansen? He just…it was different. Maybe because last time I know now that Jennings wasn't going to really hurt those kids, and Johansen, he was going to kill you and me and everyone in the building. Today, I feel like a hero, that last time, I felt like a murderer."

Eddie stroked Jamie's cheek, "I know…I felt like that too. It was hard, but I felt like maybe I saved your life. That's what got me through it, and holding your hands and listening to your voice…just you…"

Jamie stood up and pulled Eddie with him, "It's getting really late, why don't we turn in and get some rest. There's nothing that a good night with you in my arms won't cure."

Jamie headed to the bedroom and stripped down to his boxers and tee shirt while Eddie set the coffee maker for the morning and locked the doors. She grabbed her phone and plugged it in next to Jamie's.

When they stayed at each other's apartments, everything looked like his and hers. Two uniforms hanging on the closet doors, one long, one short, two towels, one mauve, the other some shade of cream or blue, two guns, again one much more distinct than the other…now two phones, one old bar phone with no real features and one tricked out android that was more of a minicomputer than a phone. In every way they were alike they were different, but so far that was good.

Eddie pulled on an old tee shirt and a pair of boxer shorts. She slid into bed next to Jamie. Even though they still had not made love, they had not spent a night apart since Eddie asked Jamie to stay with her in her apartment. They were clearly in love with each other, they both knew it and Jamie feared that soon many of the other observant cops in their lives would know it too. The question was, would he really care? Lately he felt like he'd give up everything to keep Eddie in his life.

Jamie rubbed Eddie's back gently as he felt her dozing off. He was a little too high on adrenaline to fall asleep just yet, so he amused himself feeling Eddie's soft skin under his fingers. Just as Eddie was crossing the barrier between sleep and wakefulness, her phone rang. Jamie looked at the caller ID. "Hey Eddie, exactly what phone number did you give Beth?"

Eddie pushed herself up and wiped her eyes, "My freedom voice, it'll go right to voicemail so I can see if she really needs me." She grabbed her caller ID, "Oh, man…" she laughed. "Remember that guy that broke up with me by text? That's him."

Jamie reached out for the phone, "No way, gimme!"

"Jamie!" Eddie warned as he grabbed the phone out of her hands and started to text a reply to the offending phone number.

"What did you say?" Eddie asked when he relinquished the device.

Jamie leaned over and gave Eddie a kiss. "I told him you were spoken for and that it was his loss and it was. It most certainly was," Jamie whispered as he leaned over and captured Eddie's lips in another hungry kiss.


	4. Bad Company - A

**A/N: This is the first of three installments for Bad Company. This segment takes place the night after Eddie is drafted as the UC. The second segment will take place the night before the operation goes down, and the third will be the night after when all is well. I will post each the segment on consecutive days, today, tomorrow, and Sunday. Please R/R.**

 **Bad Company A**

"No way! No how!" Jamie insisted for about the tenth time that night. "You are not doing this Eddie. I don't care if it is with Danny, I don't care if it's with the Pope, it is too dangerous. You are not ready!"

Eddie put her hands on her hips. She and Jamie had been fighting since arriving home after tour. He had brooded the entire day in the car, when she finally pressed him, he exploded. "Who says I'm not ready?" she demanded. "I have over a year on the job, I have over thirty arrests, 18 of them are felonies and I had more undercover training than you had when you went under as a UC. How do I know, because you admitted you never had ANY training as a UC!"

"It's different," Jamie replied firmly. "This is Serbian mob, Eddie. Those guys make Sanfino and the rest of the families look like the freaking Waltons! These people are damaged! They are sick people who LIKE to hurt women. They enjoy it!"

"Jamie, those people, you are talking about, are my kind of people. I understand how they work, I know how they think, I am the best and only choice, you heard Danny. If I don't do this, or at least try to do this, I won't be able to live with myself when more girls disappear or God forbid we find bodies out there!"

Jamie realized strong arming her and coming down hard wasn't working. It was his fear that was speaking for him and making him snap at her like that. Jamie closed the gap and took Eddie's hands, "I'm sorry. I know I'm coming off like a jerk, one of those chest pounding types that I swore I would never be with you. I'm scared for you, Eddie. Danny is a good cop, but he doesn't always look before he leaps. He sees a pretty Serbian cop with a little undercover training and that's all he thinks of. I don't want to lose you when I finally found you."

Eddie looked up at Jamie, her eyes shining, "You won't. Jamie, I am happier now that I have been in a long time. We swore, when we got together, we would stay partners and we wouldn't let our hearts get in the way of the job. Your heart is getting in the way of the job, Jamie. We can't be together if you let that happen."

"So what are you saying?" Jamie asked pulling back, feeling his heart pounding in his chest. "That if I don't risk losing you in the UC that I'm going to lose you anyway?"

Eddie leaned on her tiptoes and placed a kiss on Jamie's lips. "No, I'm just asking you to remember that promise, the first promise we made as a couple. I can do this, I believe I can do it. I need you to believe it too."

Before Jamie could answer, Eddie's cell phone began to ring. "It's Danny," she informed him and answered it listening carefully to what the seasoned detective had to say.

Jamie tried to calm himself. Eddie was a very independent woman. She liked to be held and cuddled as much as anyone but she had her own mind and wanted to leave her on mark on the NYPD. He couldn't stand in her way and claim that he loved her. To love her was to love all the things about her, even the things that might get her killed.

Jamie had a new understanding for Sydney and Dana now. It was hard to love a person that's very nature put them in harm's way. Every instinct Jamie had was to protect those that he loved, he couldn't protect Eddie and still have this relationship. If he wanted to build a life with Eddie, he had to let her be herself.

"Well, the case just got handed to the Feds, so now it's a joint task force," Eddie informed Jamie flopping on the couch. "Danny says they have an expert in the Serbian mafia that will train me and help me get prepared, that should make you feel better right?"

Jamie sighed and took Eddie's hand again, "Nothing is going to make me feel better about you putting your life on the line. It's hard enough for me to do it when I'm backing you up." Jamie pulled her and Eddie allowed him to hold her close to his chest, "It beats for you, Eddie and if I didn't have you...it just might stop, but I trust you and I trust Danny and Baez, but most of all I love you enough to realize that i have to support this. I meant it when I said I was all in."

Eddie pulled back and cupped Jamie's cheek, "I will be okay. If I get the feeling that it's not safe, that it's going to be too risky, I will pull the plug, I promise you that. Now let's order in Thai and watch a move, you pick!"

Jamie had to laugh, "Get me shrimp mermaid," he instructed while fishing his copy of Jaws out of the DVD rack. He had to make her pay for scaring him...at least a little bit.

Eddie called in the food including two orders of Jamie's favorite shrimp mermaid. "J, you want coconut milk?"

"No, beers tonight," Jamie replied as he turned the movie on.

As soon as Eddie heard the theme music, she groaned. "Reagan, this one again. You know I hate the part where he eats the dog!"

Jamie burst out laughing, "He eats a kid during the same scene and you get upset about the dog."

"I get upset about both, but the dog is just an animal, he doesn't know better, he was put in harm's way."

Eddie settled down on the couch next to Jamie, their food came in a half hour. Jamie paused the movie while they ate and cleaned up dinner. When it was finally time to start it up again, Jamie put his arms around Eddie. Then it clicked, "You picked this movie because you know I don't like to look at the gory stuff and always hide my face in your neck. You did this on purpose."

Jamie sighed, "I just…I know I can't always protect you on the job, not the way I'd like to anyway, but this is home and here I can and tonight, I really want to hold you close and keep you safe. Is that so wrong?"

Eddie shook her head, "No, in fact, that feels right. At work, we're partners, but here..I don't mind you being the strong one…I kind of like it. I had to be for a long time, I had to pretend things were okay when they weren't. It's really nice to have someone be that for me."

Jamie kissed Eddie's head on turned on the movie again, "It's really nice being that for you too. You can always come to me, Eddie. I'm always going to be here. I promise."

Eddie breathed in his comforting scent, her heart melted at his soft words, she didn't have to say anything else, any more words, would ruin the perfection of being in this moment, right here, right now, with the man she loved.


	5. Bad Company - B

**Special thanks to all that have reviewed this story so far! Thanks for sending your thoughts. Please continued to send those along. Also, a big shout out to Lawslave for previewing my work and offering her invaluable feedback.**

Bad Company B

Eddie stirred and slowly woke up from a deep, exhausted sleep. She reached over and felt the sheets beside her, wanting to feel the soft skin of Jamie's chest, roughened only slightly by hair. She kept dreaming about those girls, and about her mother. She needed to have Jamie hold her, she was just ashamed to ask him. He was upset with her again, he spent most of the last couple of days being that way.

Eddie sighed when she felt cool, empty sheets under her hand. She slid out of bed and padded to the living room and saw Jamie standing clad only in his boxers in the moonlight coming in off the window.

"Hey," Eddie said softly going and sliding her arms around him. "Are you okay? Sunday dinner not agree with you?"

Jamie's arms came up and settled onto of Eddie's, "Just couldn't sleep, that's all. Shoulder's bothering me, I guess."

"You guess? If I hurts you should know it right?" Eddie replied. He never really mentioned having problems with his shoulder. "You want me to rub it for you?"

Jamie shook his head and turned so he could face her. "It's fine. I just can't sleep that's all. I…"

"Me neither," Eddie confessed. "I actually had a bad dream and I woke up so you could…" She felt embarrassed all of a sudden confessing her own fears and her need for his arms in that moment. Jamie wasn't about to let her off the hook so easily.

"Could what?" he asked softly. "Tell me."

Eddie looked down, "Hold me. I need you to hold me, Jamie."

Jamie opened his arms and pulled Eddie in close to him. "I'm here, I'm right here. Eddie if you are too scared, if you are starting to feel like this isn't right…I won't think less of you if want to…"

"No," Eddie replied firmly even as she stood in his protective embrace. "No, I can't do that. I have to go through with it. I studied so hard, and all I can think about are those poor girls."

Jamie laid his cheek on the top of Eddie's hair, "Is that what the dream was about?" Jamie asked softly.

He felt Eddie shudder in his arms, "It was…about that but instead of it being Anna or one of the others it was…my Mom."

Jamie sighed, "Oh, sweetheart." He rubbed her back, "Come on back to bed. We can talk about it."

"Can we just stay here like this for a while?" Eddie asked. Jamie was unsure if she was just missing her mom or if she was more afraid than she was willing to let on.

"Sure we can." In that moment, Jamie would deny her nothing. Eddie needed him to be her touchstone right now, to let make things very simple at home so she could concentrate. He knew there was so much that could go wrong tomorrow night, that every instinct in him wanted to make today easy and simple.

Jamie swayed slowly from side to side enjoying the feel of Eddie against him, and the idea of her needing him in this way warmed his heart. Jamie slid a hand up Eddie's back and stroked her hair up and down in slow, gentle strokes. "You miss her a lot," Jamie observed. "Your Mom? I know I miss my own mother every day."

"What was she like, Jamie?" Eddie asked softly. "Your Mom?"

"Oh, she was beautiful," Jamie remembered. "She used this vanilla scented body lotion, and whenever I miss her, I put a little of it on, just so I can smell it and think of her. Next to my Dad, she always looked really small, but what I remember the most is the way she believed in us. She had that mother's belief that her children could do anything, she told me when I was fifteen, "Jamison," she always called me that, "You will be Suma Cum Laude, you are so smart." I believed I could too, and when I did, she was beaming."

Jamie's voice caught, "You lost your Mom a lot younger than me, and that had to have hurt. I think that you…really missed out on that part of your life. I wish I could give you back what you lost, but I can't any more than you can give me back Joe."

Eddie stepped back, "If I could take that pain away…"

Jamie dropped a kiss on her forehead, "I think that's part of why I'm so…you know. About this. I lost Joe, he was my best friend. Then Vinny…we were becoming close…but you. You are the love of my life and if they harm one hair on your head."

Eddie stepped closer to Jamie and hugged him with all the strength in her 5'2" frame. "They won't, I have so many reasons to be careful on this operation, Jamie, so many reasons now to come home safe. I love you."

Jamie dipped his head and kissed Eddie deeply. He sighed into her mouth, exploring it with his tongue. She tasted so sweet, he loved kissing her, it was as if all the feelings they had for each other were exchanged inside that one action.

Eddie sighed into Jamie's mouth, they had not yet taken things to the next level, but his kisses were enough to bring her to her knees.

"I heard you got Danny to agree to bring you on the tail," Eddie murmured when they came up for air. "Don't you trust him to keep me safe?"

"No, not without him knowing what you mean to me, Eddie. Danny will think about the op first, I have to be there…I'm your partner, I have your back, inside of this relationship and outside," Jamie replied. "I'm not letting you go to the lion's den alone."

Eddie smiled, "Thanks. I needed to hear that. I am…" She took a deep breath. "I am a little scared."

"You should be," Jamie replied. "It's scary stuff, but let me tell you this, it's good to be scared. Being a little scared heightens your senses, it makes you more alert, and pay more attention. Just remember your mother's story, remember that you stand between those girls and a horrible future, and most of all remember that I am out there with Danny and if you need me I will be there, I promise you that. If you are in trouble, hold onto that fact that I am going to find you."

They kissed again, then walked back to bed with their arms around each other. "Jamie," Eddie whispered as he pulled her into his arms in their bed. "Promise me you won't go off halfcocked, if you do have to come in. Promise me you'll be careful too. I don't want you to die saving me, it won't be worth it."

"It would," Jamie replied. "You are worth my life, Eddie. I need you to believe that. I need you go into this believing that someone on the outside values you that much!"

"I do," Eddie assured him. "I know that and I will come out of this. This time tomorrow we'll be lying here again, remembering how scared we were tonight and celebrating taking down some really bad people. I promise you we will."

Jamie stroked Eddie's back and hair until she finally fell asleep in his arms. Jamie, was unable to drop off, he wanted to remember every moment like this…just in case.


	6. Bad Company - C

Special thanks to Lawslave for helping with the evolution of this chapter. This was a hard chapter for me to write as we will see Eddie and Jamie move to the next step in their relationship. Please send your thoughts. I hope I did it justice, it is a such a special moment for our beloved Jamko.

Bad Company C –

The moment Eddie's apartment door closed, Jamie let out a sigh of relief and pulled her into his arms. "Oh my God…" He inhaled her scent, she still smelled cheap, like smoke and bad liquor from her time in the brothel. "Oh my God…"

Eddie could feel how cool Jamie's hands were on her back as he slid them up under the blouse to feel her warmth, and reassure himself she was still alive and well in his arms. "I almost lost you…when we lost the wire I went crazy. I begged Danny to go after you…but he didn't, they wanted to let it play out. I'm so sorry…" Jamie buried his face in Eddie's golden mane. "I am so sorry. If he had hurt you…"

"Jamie, he didn't hurt me, okay?" Eddie soothed. "He didn't hurt me. I was smart enough to delay him because I knew you were coming for me. I knew that if I just put it off a little longer, that you'd get there and everything would be all right."

Jamie was glad she had so much faith in him, he hadn't had that much in himself or in Danny. When they rushed the brothel, Jamie had kept calling out Eddie's name only to hear nothing but silence. She was dead, he knew she was dead.

Eddie stepped out of Jamie's arms, "You saved my life, Jamie. You did what you promised to do."

"I almost lost you tonight," Jamie sighed, unable to really shake that fear.

"We almost lost each other," Eddie echoed. "Tatiana was going to shoot you, she was cold and callous, and she'd have killed you outright."

"At that point I didn't care," Jamie confessed. "I thought that you had been made and were lying dead somewhere…I didn't want to find you like that I…"

"I'm not dead, I was fine honey. I was fine, because I believed in you. You didn't believe in me, that I could handle myself." Eddie would be lying if she said that didn't upset her even a little.

"I knew you could handle yourself with one perp or two but I didn't know how many there were, it was dangerous…" Jamie started to pace. "I don't want to argue. I let my heart get ahead of my brain tonight, Eddie, I know that. I can never do that again! I can't let my heart interfere again and I won't. I promise you."

Eddie nodded, "I know that. If she had tried to shoot you, Jamie. I am not sure if I'd react like a cop or a girlfriend, not in that moment. I am in love with you, I'm certain of it. All of that happened at work, but right now we are home, alone together. I'm going to shower, then we can just be. Sound good?"

Jamie admitted she had the right idea and poured himself a glass of whiskey while he waited for Eddie. She seemed to take forever in the shower, so long he knew the water had to have gone cold. Jamie knocked on the door, "Hey, Eddie, you okay in there?"

"Yeah, I'm just rinsing my hair, I'll be right out." The water turned off a minute later and she stepped out in her robe. She changed her clothes then joined Jamie on the sofa for a drink, the events of the night sinking in. Jamie slid his arms around her shoulders and let her snuggle to him. "We saved a lot of lives tonight," Eddie sighed. "But I still feel like we didn't do a thing."

"It's the mob, Eddie. We can bring down pieces of them but…" Jamie kissed her hair. He felt her tears wet his shirt. Jamie knew this was not about the mob, it wasn't about almost being raped, this was about Eddie's mother and how much she missed her.

"Let it out baby," Jamie whispered and kissed her head. "I know you miss her, I know…"

Eddie surrendered to the pain of her mother's memory, how her dream had been shattered by heart disease and these girls, their dreams shattered by evil pigs. Eddie had been scared to death in that room and then again when she saw Tatiana in front of Jamie. Now though, she felt so protected and loved enclosed in Jamie's embrace. She felt Jamie's lips brush the top of her head and pulled away to meet his eyes.

Deep in their blue depths, she could see the love and the need for something more. It was evident how much he wanted to do more than just hold and comfort her. He wanted her. Eddie knew if she gave Jamie the signal that it was all right, if she kissed him like her heart and body begged her to, he would be pushed over the line they had drawn for themselves since they got together.

Jamie met Eddie's eyes and held her gaze. He ran his hand down her cheek, his rough thumb across her lips. She kissed it and pressed her soft cheek into his callused palm and parted her lips.

"Make me forget, Jamie," she begged, "Make me forget what almost happened to us both. I need this…I need you." Eddie echoed the very words she whispered the night they had decided to become a couple.

Jamie's tone became husky and he looked at her, "What do you want from me?"

"Love, Jamie," Eddie replied. "I want you to show me your love. It's been so long since I was loved like this. I need you to love me like that." Eddie's eyes were shining in the dim light of her apartment, asking him for his love, for his touch in such gentle way.

That was all the encouragement Jamie needed. His arms shot out, and he dragged Eddie closer to his chest, trapping her against his body. He seized her chin, lifting it to meet the descending force of his mouth, crushing her lips beneath his before she had a chance to breath.

The shear passion and physical sensation, coupled with fierce emotion of the day, crashed through Eddie, taking her under in a huge, all-consuming wave. Whimpering, she welcomed Jamie's attentions, she thought about this moment since their first night as a couple almost two months ago. Jamie's lips moved over Eddie's with urgent intensity, like a drowning man, clinging to oxygen. He almost lost her tonight, he had almost lost himself. There was no way for Jamie to hold back now, he had to release the feeling he held inside of him.

Eddie moved closer, needing to sooth the turmoil she felt in Jamie's kiss. Eddie's fingers uncurled and glided up his shirt to rest on his pounding heart, "Jamie," she whispered against his mouth, "Oh, Jamie."

A hard shudder wracked Jamie's body and his grip relaxed. Jamie's hands ran up and down Eddie's spine, caressing her, soothing away the fear that she'd felt just hours before. Urging Eddie closer, Jamie gentled the kiss, his lips circling hers, lingering, silently demanding Eddie to permit him access to her mouth.

Eddie understood his silent request, she opened her lips to him and let his tongue slide in to mate with hers. Jamie's mouth possessed hers with hunger, stroking every surface, awakening nerves and sensations she'd never imagined she could feel. Just hours ago she'd been trying to prevent a man from touching her like this, now, it was all she desired. A loan groan vibrated from Jamie's chest and he rose from the sofa, pulling her into his arms as he did so. He stepped carefully as he carried her to the bedroom and set her down again on her feet. Eddie rose on her tiptoes, pressing herself closer to his beautiful body. His hands moved down to cup her bottom and he once again lifted her from the floor, fitting her to him.

The emotion of the day and the intense pleasure of Jamie's ministrations made Eddie weak. Had Jamie not been holding her, she would have collapsed, her limbs weak with sensation, unable to function. Jamie sensed her need and held her tighter, gripping her tightly as he headed toward her bed and lowered her to the cool sheets. "Eddie." It was the first time he spoke her name and it sounded wonderful since he began to kiss her on the couch.

"What?" her eyes opened to meet his. Jamie's beautiful eyes held her, their breath mingled until it was impossible to tell which one of them was providing the air.

Softly, Jamie asked, "Are you sure?" He had to know, if he lost her because he rushed her, he'd never forgive himself. Jamie forced himself to remember that Eddie was nearly raped, perhaps this was not what she needed from him now.

"Yes, I'm sure," Eddie replied still breathless from his kiss. "I'm so sure of this Jamie."

Jamie's breathing was harsh, strained, and he leaned over her, bracing himself on his forearms. "Do you realize what's going to happen?"

Another breathy reply, "Yes…you're going to make me yours…" That's all Eddie wanted from the moment they made this commitment to each other. The other women in his life had been in his bed, now, it was her turn. She needed this tonight more than ever.

Jamie swallowed, every tendon in his neck strained, taut with his need for her. "If you want to change your mind, do it now. Once I have you, once we are together, there will be no turning back. Once we do this, nothing will ever be the same again, Eddie, nothing."

Eddie reached up her hand to stroke his jaw. "I don't want to change my mind. Make love to me."

Jamie kissed her again, his hands quickly removing the clothing she still wore. Eddie's smaller hands slid up his chest and worked at the buttons on his shirt. She parted the folds to reveal the small amount of silky hair adorning his chest. Eddie rubbed her cheek against it, Jamie let out a pleasured moan. Jamie finished his endless task of removing her clothing and settled on top of Eddie, her body moved of it's own volition as their flesh met.

Eddie couldn't form a coherent thought, so intense were the physical sensations coursing through her. She clutched at Jamie's arms - desperate to please him and not knowing how, all knowledge and common sense seemed to have left her, she was powerless in his arms.

"Jame..." she began, but he placed his long index finger over her lips.

"Hush," he murmured, tracing her swollen lips with his finger. "Let me love you, Eddie. Just lie back and let me love you."

He once again began his gentle assault on her body, his large hands moved to touch her breast, making her moan his name in pleasure. It came out in sob, for she was lost in his arms, content, at least for now, to let him take control of this, until he stopped.

"Jamie? Don't stop," she begged, "Don't..."

"Hush, sweetheart. It's only just beginning," Jamie promised holding her tight in his arms as he caressed her whole body with his hands.

Eddie complied knowing that she'd never deny him anything again. "Are you ready for me, Eddie?" Jamie dropped his hand between their bodies to make sure. If it had been a while, he might hurt her and he didn't want to do that, not tonight, not any night when they would be together like this. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You could never hurt me, Jamie. Make love with me, I've never been more ready," she whispered.

Jamie entered her slowly, slowing every few minutes for her to adjust to his size. She strained her hips eagerly, stretching to accommodate him. Eddie closed her eyes and turned her head away when she felt him empty into her, completely filling her. Jamie stopped, still inside her, and turned her face to his.

"I love you, Edit," he whispered as he felt her body reach up to meet his.

"I love you," Eddie breathed feeling the exquisite sensation of their joined bodies.

Much later, when Jamie and Eddie had connected in every way that is was possible for two, Eddie lay with her head nestled against Jamie's bare chest, her hair splayed across his arm and pillow. Jamie looked down at her, the flush still in her cheeks, her lips still swollen from his attention. He'd never felt anything more magical than this. Eddie stirred, her eyes had fallen shut as she slipped into an exhausted sleep. Their relationship had evolved again, jumping far over the line to something greater than Jamie could have ever imagined. Jamie wasn't sure how they would navigate these waters just yet, the only thing he knew for sure was they they'd be doing it together.


	7. Through the Looking Glass

**A/N: I realize there wasn't any actual Jamie and Eddie scenes in this episode, which to me, means it is not among my top season five episodes, lol. But I do love Jamie and Eddie fluff and the dinner conversation was though provoking in many ways. Hope you enjoy this installment.**

 **Looking for my Tough universe close – up, A Sister's Love, when Erin crosses the line trying to protect Jamie, leading to Eddie carrying nearly thirty years of anger and pain.**

 **Don't forget, In Sickness and In Health, updating midnight on Saturday, 2/27.**

 **Special thanks to Lawslave for always having such valuable input.**

Through the Looking Glass

Jamie tiptoed into his apartment after Sunday dinner, trying his best to be quiet. In the middle of the night, he'd be awakened by Eddie making a mad dash to the bathroom before being sick in the toilet for almost three hours.

She laid on his bed after with terrible pains in her stomach, running a fever, feeling horrible. Jamie did his best to make her more comfortable. She finally fell asleep around midmorning. She woke up every few hours to be sick and sip at some water. Jamie was loathe to leave for family dinner, but Eddie insisted. She was too sick to move and didn't want to invite questions.

Jamie peered into the bedroom to find Eddie awake, cocooned in covers, with the TV on low. "Hey, you're awake," Jamie said smiling as he entered the room. "How do you feel?"

"Better, I think I threw up my actual stomach," Eddie sighed. "I made some tea and that stayed down so I think I'm over the worst of it."

"Still, you need to bang in sick tomorrow," Jamie advised. "You aren't going to be strong enough to chase down perps."

Jamie stroked Eddie's hair back and felt her forehead. "You're still fevered. Let me change into sweats, make you more tea and see if you can take some toast. If you can I'll give you something for the fever. I have Tylenol in there."

Jamie busied himself making two cups of tea and some toast and jam for Eddie. She sat up to eat while Jamie sipped his tea, "How was Sunday dinner?"

"Dad almost blew a gasket when Nikki took out her webcam at the table," Jamie laughed. "He is very anti-technology and especially so when it comes to the dinner table."

"Why would she do that?" Eddie asked sipping the hot liquid. It soothed her sore throat, she didn't want to admit to Jamie she thought she had the flu.

"She was making a video diary for her senior project," Jamie explained. "Nikki wanted to ask us what advice we would give to our younger self. Pretty thought provoking questions."

Eddie nodded, "Yeah, especially from a seventeen year old kid. How would Nikki even have a frame of reference for that?"

"She said never forget where you come from," Jamie replied. "To be honest with you, I have no idea what she meant by that in reference to herself. Nikki, I love her to death, but she's always had someone looking out for her. My sister, she's not helicopter Mom but she's not every lax either. Nikki's dad wasn't around but she had my Dad, Pops, me…"

"She's really lucky," Eddie replied. "I know I'm lucky to have even one Reagan looking out for me."

Jamie kissed Eddie's cheek, "You ready for some Tylenol?" Jamie hated that she was sick. He didn't like anyone he loved not feeling well, but it was harder when it was Eddie. She'd only had a cold once since they started riding together.

Eddie nodded and accepted the pills from Jamie. "So, what was your advice for your younger self?" she asked putting the plate on the night stand and tucking herself back into the blankets.

"Don't be so cautious," Jamie replied. "When I was a kid, I saw both of my brothers always getting scrapes and fractures and all sorts of other things. I saw how upset it made my Mom when one of us go hurt so I always tried to be the good little soldier. I tried not to get hurt and if I did, I never complained about it. Eventually, it because my part in the family. I was good little Jamie, always doing what everyone expected."

Eddie took his hand and threaded her fingers through it. "Yeah, I can see that. Danny was the rebel, Erin was the only girl, you said Joe was the peacemaker, the mediator…you had to find your role and play it. There's nothing wrong with that."

"There's a lot wrong with it," Jamie replied. "The money I wasted for one, on law school tuitions. The time I wasted, I could be detective by now. We could have been together a year now…"

"Or never have met at all," Eddie reminded him.

"Oh, no. We'd have met," Jamie replied, sure of himself. "You and I, we are meant to be together. We would have met except then I'd have been able to make my move last spring when we kissed last year. I firmly believe you and I were meant to be."

"That's sweet, but we don't know what might have happened if we chose different paths. If my Dad didn't do what he did, I might not have made this choice either. The road not taken and all that."

Jamie sighed, "Well, the fact is, we did choose this life, to be police officers, and every day I am more and more sure it was right, especially since we decided to see if there could be an us."

"I'm glad we did, and I know that there is an us." Eddie turned the TV on louder when she saw the reporter Ann Farrel's face on the screen.

"I have been served with a subpoena to disclose the name of my source, this is just another one of Frank Reagan's…" Jamie took the remote and shut the TV off.

"I'm sorry," Eddie sighed. "Do you think she'll give it up?"

Jamie shook his head, "Legally it's a grey area. She's protected under the first amendment, but the perp told her there would be more killings. It can be fall under the yelling fire in a crowded theater type of speech. That it is a danger to public welfare."

"I ran into the cops that found that body," Eddie admitted. "They were both pretty shaken by it and one has been on the job going on fifteen years. They were at our house to see Sarge. Donnelly was his old boot like you, he wanted to talk to it out with him."

"I have never seen anything like that," Jamie confessed. "That's just a horrible way to die."

Eddie nodded, lying back as she got tired. "That's a fear of mine," she confessed. "Dying by fire like that. When you go set on fire…I had nightmares for a month. You burned to death before my eyes, or I caught on fire…"

Jamie moved up on the bed so he could wrap Eddie up in his arms. "I was fine, you were fine. Everything is just fine." Jamie kissed her head. "You're still warm. Let's get a little rest huh?"

Eddie couldn't argue with that, she slid under the covers, curling up in her boyfriend's bed, in her boyfriend's arms, this time dreaming of spending the rest of her life just like she was at that very moment, happy, warm, and above all loved.


	8. Payback - A

**A/N: A huge thank you to Lawslave who literally carried the ball over the line for me with this chapter when I was having an incredibly difficult time executing the ideas in my head. There would not be a chapter without her help. Also, thank to everyone who has read and reviewed, I can't wait to hear your thoughts on this chapter.**

 **Payback B will be posted tomorrow night around this same time. Don't forget to check out In Sickness and in Health. Only fourteen chapters left of that story.**

Payback A

"Eddie," Jamie sighed as he let them into his apartment. "Eddie, come on, don't be mad."

"I'm not mad," Eddie countered. "I just want to spend the night at my own place."

"Yeah, because you're mad," Jamie replied. "All I meant was that we don't know much about either Christina or her boyfriend, he could be lying, but so could she."

"I know that," Eddie said sitting down on his couch. "I know she could be lying and he could be too. If Christina is lying, Trevor's reputation gets hurt or something like that but if Trevor is lying…something much more serious could happen!"

"I know." Jamie sat down at Eddie's side. "So first, let's stop this silliness about you staying at your place. We're a couple off the job and this argument is related to the job. This is a fight with Eddie my partner, not Eddie my girlfriend."

Eddie turned to face Jamie, "One in the same, Reagan. You might be able to turn it off and on but I can't. You totally discounted me out there today, Jamie, and you're still doing it!"

Jamie knew he probably wasn't going to get much farther in this argument, but the stubborn Irish pride of his made him keep going. "I am not discounting you, Eddie!" Jamie snapped. "I am trying to make you see there's more than one side to this thing. In cases like this, there are three sides to the story: his side, her side, and the truth."

"That's bull!" Eddie said firmly. "This time, there is one side - her side. You saw the messages on her computer, Jamie. We were sitting with her when she got them. She didn't send them to herself! Why are you standing up for that piece of scum?"

"Eddie," Jamie sighed, he was getting frustrated with her. They never had such a heated disagreement as a couple before. They hadn't even really disagreed to this extent as partners. It didn't feel good. "Why won't you just admit that that stuff with Jake kind of…?"

"Jamie," Eddie interrupted him before he could finish. "If you go there one more time, I'm not even going to try to sit and have a meal with you, I'm just going to go home! This has nothing to do with me! This has to do with us protecting a vulnerable citizen that was drugged and stripped naked in a park last night. That's our job!"

Jamie sighed and sat on the couch, "Yes, it is our job and right now, we are off that job. Please, let's go to our mutual corners and talk about something else," he pleaded.

Eddie didn't want her frustrations with her partner to carry over to their personal time, but it was hard to flip a switch, so instead of saying something she would regret later, she just clamped her mouth shut and sat back on the couch.

Jamie went to the fridge and grabbed two beers. He gave one to Eddie and gently pulled her legs onto his lap. "Did you hear that Danny caught that case with that reality chef that was murdered?"

"Yeah?" Eddie replied, forcing herself to engage in his new topic of conversation.

"Danny would have had no idea who that guy was if it wasn't for Baez," Jamie replied feeling a little more relaxed now that he'd shifted the conversation, but he could still feel that Eddie was tense. He began to remove her shoes knowing one thing that always helped her relax.

"Danny's not into reality shows?" Eddie asked before sipping on her beer.

"No, unless it was that one about the Drag Queens," Jamie laughed. "That show he loves. He claims it's Linda, but it's him." Jamie pulled off Eddie's socks and slowly he started to massage her feet, which had Eddie releasing a quiet moan. "Do your feet hurt?"

"No, but I like it when you rub them," Eddie smiled sadly as her mind shifted back to their case. She knew he was trying to keep their work and private lives separate but she couldn't pretend that what he said didn't bother her. "I don't know Jamie, it really hurt that you thought I was reacting on emotions and not on the fact that we had a legitimately frightened girl that needed our help."

"I didn't mean to hurt you, but you were way ahead of yourself, jumping to conclusions," Jamie replied. "But let's not talk about this, okay. Let's talk about anything but this."

Eddie shut her eyes and tried giving it another go. "Okay, best compliment you ever got on the job?" she asked as she picked another random topic. "Oh, right there…," she moaned as he hit a tender spot.

Jamie rubbed a little harder along the arch of her foot. "Uh, it was actually from Renzulli," he replied. "When we were riding together, we had this case, a real paranoid type woman. She kept calling saying people were moving her things around, breaking into her house. The Boss thought she was just another EDP, not dangerous but batty, but I just felt like maybe she was on the level and gave her the benefit of the doubt. I turned out to be right, she was being targeted by her own brother. When it all came out, Renzulli told me I had something special, that I reminded him of my brother, Joe."

Jamie said that last part so fast it was like he coughed, but Eddie was able to hear him. "Oh, that must have felt really special, Jamie."

He nodded. "It did. Joe and I were best friends. Until I met you, I didn't let anyone get that close, not even Vinny. I let you in and it felt so right to be close to someone like that again."

Eddie sighed, "I am sorry that we disagreed today, Jamie. I hate to argue with you, I always did."

"Let's not talk about it," Jamie said again. "He would have liked you," he continued. "Joe, he really would have liked you. If he met you, I'd have had to fight for you for sure."

Eddie pulled her legs back and sat with her knees against her chest. "I only have eyes for you, Reagan," she assured him. "Even when you are being stubborn."

"What's the best compliment you ever got?" Jamie asked. "On the job."

"Uh, I think it was the Rose Davis case," Eddie replied. "That was the first time that you backed up a hunch of mine, you saw I had an instinct and you let me run with it. That meant a lot to me."

Jamie knew that Eddie still hadn't let things go from before. No matter what he did tonight, she wasn't ready to let it go. Jamie was convinced now more than ever he was right about her reaction to Christina Henley's plight. "I trust you, Eddie," Jamie said gently trying a different tactic. "I love you and I need you to understand that when I don't agree with you, it doesn't mean that I do either of those things less, it just means I have a different opinion. That's all."

"A wrong opinion this time," Eddie insisted. "You know this is not working. It's not working to separate our work and personal lives, it just isn't. I can't be mad at you at work and all lovey dovey at home, I just can't."

"Eddie," Jamie tried to reach for her but she got up.

"Give me my socks, I'm going to stay at my place. I really need time alone to think."

Jamie felt his breath catch in his throat. "Eddie, please…"

"For tonight, Jamie," Eddie reassured him. "I need time alone to think for tonight. I'll see you tomorrow on tour." Eddie leaned over and kissed Jamie softly on the lips. "Please give me my socks."

Reluctantly, Jamie handed Eddie back her socks. "I think we can work this out, Eddie."

Eddie sighed. "We can, tomorrow, after I have had some time. Please, Jamie. I'm not used to having this…," she moved her hand back and forth between. "I'm not mad anymore, I'm just confused. Please don't make it harder than it is."

Jamie sighed but agreed. He stood up and took Eddie in his arms giving her a stirring kiss. "I love you. Tet me when you get him, just let me know you got home safe, okay?"

Eddie nodded and got her things together. They shared one last kiss before she walked out the door and headed for home. It killed him to see her leave upset, they hadn't spent a night alone since that first night in her apartment nearly three months ago.

Jamie turned around and looked around his apartment feeling so alone. He got into bed after he received Eddie's text, but it felt empty without her beside him. He tried to sleep but to no avail. He had to make this right with her, he loved her so much. Tomorrow was Sunday; maybe he could work the 'he said/she said' issue into the Sunday dinner conversation, and maybe, just maybe, someone would have advice that he could use to repair this mess.


	9. Payback - B

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed the first half of this post episode visit, but of course I hope you enjoy this resolution to that section more. Hope everyone had a great day.**

Payback – B

After Sunday dinner, just as Jamie predicted, he had a better frame of reference for the he said, she said of the Henley case. Jamie spent the rest of the night digging into Trevor's college records finally uncovering numerous complaints against him. The look on Eddie's face when he delivered that news was one of relief and dare he say it, adoration. Jamie had touched her heart by going the extra mile. Nothing in Christina's story had changed, he'd kept digging because of her feelings that made her feel special.

Tonight, things had come to a head. Trevor had tricked Christina into going to the Williamsburg Bridge with him and there he'd tried to kill her. Jamie and Eddie, acting on Jamie's intel, Eddie's hunch, and a neighbor's testimony had tracked them there and intervened just in time. Since they had written their reports and headed for Eddie's apartment, she had been very quiet.

"What's wrong?" Jamie asked again and again but Eddie rebuked him with a flip of her hand.

"Come on, honey," Jamie said gently. "I know something is bothering you."

"I'm having a hard time separating home and work again. We said we weren't going to talk as partners outside of work anymore. We both had a horrible night on Saturday because of my inability to do that. I really hurt you and I can't forgive myself."

Jamie kissed Eddie's forehead. "You can still talk about what happened on the job if it's eating at you, Eddie. Let's…" Jamie thought a minute, "Pretend that I'm not your partner, talk to me like your boyfriend. We can separate it if we try. Pretend that all of this came down today, I don't know anything about it, other than that you came home upset. What would you say to me? What would you want me to do?"

Slowly Eddie recounted her fear at seeing Christina being held by Trevor. How angry she felt that it got to that point and they didn't stop that terror before it started. "I guess that today brought back bad memories of Jake. I was held like that, threatened like that and it did open that wound."

Jamie reached over and pulled Eddie close. "What are you doing?" she asked surprised.

"What I would do if you can home and told me that," Jamie whispered kissing her head. "I'm sorry you felt that way, sweetheart. I'm even sorrier you had an experience that would make this emotional for you. It is okay if you are reacting that way, you're human."

Eddie felt so close to Jamie in that moment. He offered her nothing but his love and support. "I don't want to react," Eddie confessed. "I want to be able to look at it like you…like my partner does, objective but I can't. I do remember those things, Jamie and I do react to them as a cop and…"

Eddie felt Jamie pull back. "Things? Eddie, is there something else I need to know?"

Eddie shook her head, "After Jake attacked me; he made a lot of harassing phone calls, left a lot of nasty messages. He said ugly horrible things about me, about my body. A lot of things that Trevor probably said to Christina. Those things hurt!"

Jamie kissed the side of Eddie's head. "I know they do. Eddie, I need you to know that if you had been more forthcoming with me, I would have had your back in that. I would have stopped all of that garbage in it's tracks, even though we'd only been riding together a few months. I need you to believe that."

Eddie rubbed her cheek on Jamie's shirt, "I do. I believe that. I wish I had asked for help then. Maybe I would feel better now."

"What if we talk about it now?" Jamie asked. "What if you got that off your chest? Do you think you could trust me with that memory?"

Eddie was surprised she had to think about that. She didn't want those memories or the things Jake had said to interfere with this blissful arrangement. They had an argument, but now everything was fine. They were holding each other, bonding and being close to each other, no hard feelings.

Jamie stood up, "You take a minute, you think about it, and I'll make some tea and we can talk if you are ready."

Eddie spent the next ten minutes weighing the pros and cons of talking to Jamie. It would be a major step forward in their relationship. Jamie returned with two steaming mugs and a plate of cookies. He sat down and waited for Eddie to talk.

"He kept grabbing my breasts, squeezing them and pulling at them. I think he thought it was like getting kneed in the crotch for a guy, that if he hurt me enough I'd let him do what he wanted to do. When I didn't he slammed me into the table, pulled my hair…I was crying, not from pain but from fear, I admit it. I remember thinking I wished I was on the job. If I was I'd have my gun, I'd have my dexterity, and I'd have my partner at my back."

Jamie wanted to hold Eddie but he let her keep talking. "I finally did, knee him and I ran to the bathroom. Even after he left I kept hiding. I remember hiding when my parents had colleagues over. Some of my dad's colleagues would…after my mother was gone, they would look me over and it was pretty clear some of them wanted more than business but Dad, he never let them near me. He fired people left and right for ogling me."

Jamie nodded, "Sure, he was protecting you Eddie."

"After…the next day, Jake kept calling me," Eddie continued. "He left messages on my voice mail, talking about me having fat thighs or a big behind, that he was glad I didn't get naked, I'd have made him sick, just things to hurt me and wear me down."

Jamie sighed, "Eddie, you know you are…"

"Oh, I know," Eddie replied quickly "But to someone that doesn't know, to someone that doesn't have the support I had in you…it can do damage. That's why I reacted that way with Christina, she needed to feel someone was listening."

Jamie stroked Eddie's hair. "Okay…if you need to do that in the future, if you think it's beneficial, then you do that. I will behind you one hundred percent, as a boyfriend and as a partner."

Eddie smiled, "I love you," she whispered. "I love you so much. I am so lucky to have you Jamie. So incredibly lucky."

Jamie closed the gap and gently kissed Eddie's lips. "I'm the lucky one…" he sighed into her mouth. As their kiss deepened the tea and cookies were all but forgotten. Jamie rose, barely breaking his contact with Eddie's lips. Tenderly, Jamie reached down and scooped Eddie up in his arms carrying her towards the bed, where he planned to remind her that even though some men touched to hurt and humiliate, other men, the right man, touched to honor, to cherish, and most of all to love.


	10. New Rules

**A/N: Here's the installment for New Rules. There weren't many Jamie and Eddie scenes in this episode so it gave me a chance to play a little bit. Thanks to Lawslave for previewing this chapter for me. I hope you enjoy it. Next week, there will be at least two maybe three installment dealing with Linda's shooting.**

Eddie sat behind her boyfriend and started to massage his neck. "Oh, babe, you have more knots back here than my hair in the morning."

"I have a killer headache too," Jamie sighed as Eddie worked on his shoulders. "It's this thing with Curtis and there's stress between Danny and my Dad. Why can't there ever be a time when we all agree on the right thing to do. We are all the good guys!"

"Yeah," Eddie replied and dug her fingers into the knots in Jamie's neck. "You are but you and your Dad are way more cerebral than Danny is, at least in my experience with him. He's way more emotional."

Jamie sighed at how good her hand felt working on his sore neck and shoulders. "You're right. Sometimes I think that Danny is like that because he just likes to have…"

"Jamie, don't over analyze it," Eddie broke in. "In fact, I agree with Danny's point of view, a lot of cops on the street do. They killed a Chief and his wife in cold blood, and we are playing games with them."

Jamie nodded, "I know, Eddie. The cop in me agrees with that too, but the lawyer in me…"

"Agrees with your father and your sister," Eddie replied. "I'm sorry, Jamie but Erin has no place in this. Your Dad never should have put her in that position."

"No," Jamie agreed. "No, he shouldn't be Erin doesn't make it easy either. She wants to be a rising star in the DA's office, she wants the high profile cases. Sometimes I wish that we all put things aside and just focused on being a family."

Eddie dropped a kiss on his cheek, "I know you do, but storing all this up inside isn't healthy, Jamie. All that rabbit food you eat won't do a darn thing for you if you bottle up your stress. Your family is a family of service, that's what they are. You take the good with the bad, you aren't always going to agree."

"I know," Jamie sighed. "It's just that at times like this…that could be Danny or me or even my father in the morgue and we are divided not together on how to catch these guys."

"Did you ever try voicing that? Telling your father and telling Danny…" Jamie shook his head. "It's not going to work like that now honey. It's just not. Thanks for the massage but it's not really helping."

Eddie felt bad that Jamie was in pain and hurting and she wasn't able to make it better. "What if I ran a hot bath and we soaked and just talked about anything you wanted? Whatever is on your mind or in your heart you let it come out?"

Jamie turned and gave Eddie a soft kiss, "Okay, yeah, let's do that. I'll be just a minute."

Eddie went to run the bath while Jamie sent a text to Danny, "We'll get him, Danny. For Chief Kent, for Thomas, and for Joe." Jamie didn't expect to get a reply.

Eddie was already waiting in the steaming tub when Jamie came into the bathroom. He slid between her legs laying his aching head on her breast. Eddie's arms came around him and gently bathed Jamie's chest and shoulders.

"Feel good?" Eddie asked. "Jamie, I know that you want to get his guy, that Danny does, that your father does…but we have a bigger issue here I think. One we can do something about."

"Curtis," Jamie replied reading her mind. "Nothing we can do their either Eddie. He's right, in his neighborhood you are either in a gang or you're the victim of one. The best we can do is continue Chief Kent's work."

"When you are sitting in the Commissioner's chair…"

"That'll be the day," Jamie laughed. "I don't for see that happening ever. I can't even make detective."

"Oh, I don't see you as a detective anyway," Eddie replied continuing her tender ministrations. "You're more of a leader, a teacher….You're a Sergeant candidate. You could ace that test without even studying."

Jamie was touched by Eddie's confidence in him. "Right now I'm okay on patrol," Jamie replied. "One of these days I'll reach a kid like Curtis, maybe we even reached him, we don't know."

"No, no we don't know." Eddie was happy to feel Jamie relaxing in her arms. "We do make a difference, Jamie. We really do. We can't save everyone, and we can't change the world for everyone, but we can change one person's world. You taught me that and lately you're piling on all this stress…"

Jamie moved so that he could look Eddie in the eyes. "I'm sorry. I love you and I'm sorry if I am…"

Eddie leaned over and kissed Jamie's lips. Since consummating their love a few months prior, they had a healthy sex life. That was not Eddie's intention when she invited Jamie into the tub. "Jamie," she sighed as he turned the tables on her. His hands dipped beneath that water and found a place that he knew would have Eddie eating out of palm of his hand.

Eddie dropped her head back and moaned at the feeling of Jamie's strong hands on her body. "Let's move this to the other room," Jamie whispered in a husky voice. Eddie could feel throughout his body how much he wanted her.

Jamie held Eddie's hand as she stepped out of the tub. He quickly wrapped his arms around her and held her tight to avoid her catching a chill. Jamie walked with Eddie as he kissed her lips deeply.

When Eddie felt her knees hit the side of the bed, she fell back welcoming Jamie to lay on top of her. As Eddie allowed Jamie to explore her body, she couldn't help but marvel how traditional he was. Jamie would never take her in a room besides their bedroom, he preferred to be on top and in control of things. Eddie didn't mind, she loved his more traditional side. She loved feeling like she was something very special to Jamie.

Their love making that night was gentle and slow. It took much longer than some of their more passion filled nights. When it was over, Jamie pulled Eddie so she was cradled against his chest. Jamie's fingers played with Eddie's long blonde tresses. "You know, a night like this…normally…without you, I would have just laid on the couch, had my headache, and then dragged myself to work. Now, with you…" Jamie took a deep breath in.

Eddie ran her hand up and down Jamie's chest "I know…I know that too. I feel incredibly good and incredibly safe with you, no matter what has been going on. I don't think there is anything that we can't get through together."

Jamie stroked Eddie's naked back, "I hope we never have to face anything worse that we already have face. We've faced being shot at, you almost getting killed…" He held her a little closer when he said that. "If anything happened to you for real…"

Jamie shuttered and Eddie silenced him with a soft kiss. Little did they know, as they held one another in bliss, events were being put into motion that would shake their little private world and the world of the entire Reagan family…forever.


	11. Art of War - A

**A/N: Sorry for the late update, I was out of pocket all of yesterday. This chapter explores Jamie and Eddie's reaction to Linda's shooting and their relationship. The second installment will be posted tomorrow.**

 **Since this is the Season Five finale, there will be a few chapters exploring Jamie and Eddie on a vacation together before I resume post episode stories with Season Six. It is my goal to have the Season Six stories completed by the time we begin Season Seven on TV. Then I will do post ep for the episode that just aired and publish them on Sunday. Hope you stick with me that long. Looking forward to your reviews.**

Art of War - A

It was after three am when Jamie finally got home. Eddie was lying on the sofa, dozing in and out of sleep, waiting for Jamie to come home with news of Linda. Eddie had never seen Danny like that. She had encountered him several times in the course of her work, even working a full case with him. His temper was legendary with all of the officers she'd spoken to about him, but tonight, he was Hell bent on getting to his wife and it took all of Jamie's strength to hold him back.

When Eddie heard the key, she sat up and turned on the light. Jamie looked exhausted but his eyes weren't swollen or blood shot. Perhaps that was good news. Eddie rushed Jamie as soon as he discarded his jacket. It was unlike him to wear his uniform home but today he did. Eddie threw her arms around his shoulders and sighed when she felt him return the hug. "She's okay," Jamie whispered into Eddie's ear. "She's going to be okay. Danny tracked down and arrested the shooter and Pop has the boys."

"I'm so glad," Eddie replied holding Jamie tight. "I hated not being able to stay and wait with you. I know you look up to Linda like another sister and I wanted to be there for you so you could be what Danny needed if…"

Jamie kissed Eddie stopping her mid-sentence. "You know under these circumstances, that's not possible. If we want to have our privacy and keep riding together, we can't have that luxury, we just can't."

Eddie led Jamie by the hand to the couch. "Are you hungry? I picked up some subs on the way home in case you were when you go back. I also put some new bottles of Guinness in the fridge for you."

Jamie smiled, "I could eat. You take sure good care of me, Eddie."

Eddie brought Jamie half of the turkey sub and a beer. She sat on her leg and watched him eating. "You said they got the shooter?"

Jamie nodded, "Curtis," he informed her. Eddie's face dropped. They had tried so hard to help that boy. He was a good kid inside corrupted by the gangs that rules the place where he lives. So much like Los Lourdes, so much like the people that killed Vinny.

"Oh God, Jamie…" Eddie sighed. "Linda was so focused on trying to help that boy, to have him be the one that shot her."

"Well, it looks like it wasn't on purpose," Jamie replied taking a sip of his beer. "She got a ricochet from when he killed Hector Flores. Still, the one bullet will be in her for the rest of her life. If they take it, they could paralyze her or worse."

Eddie sighed, "Jamie…" She played nervously with the simple silver ring Jamie had given her for her birthday. "What would you think about going public? About telling your family and the Boss, taking our lumps, and living as a real couple?"

"Aren't we living as a real couple now?" Jamie asked, his interest peaked at her change of heart.

"No, a real girlfriend would not have left your side," Eddie replied. "If Linda had died, Heaven forbid, I couldn't have gone to her funeral and sat by your side. If you get hurt out there one day, I won't be able to keep a vigil with your family…"

Jamie sighed, "I know but…"

Eddie got her back up, "Is there…Are you embarrassed…"

"No!" Jamie gasped. "Oh, no but I…after today, things are so hard…on the job and I feel…Can we just think about it for a few days? After nearly losing Linda, I don't want to think about you being out there without me by your side, not tonight."

Eddie nodded and rubbed Jamie's leg gently. He finished his beer and sandwich, "It's really late, we better get to bed."

Eddie washed the dish and let Jamie have a few moments to himself. As she put the plate in the dish drain, she heard Jamie's phone ring. She held her breath. Jamie padded to the living room, "Hey Dad. No, I'm good. I, uh…called Eddie and we got a late night bite. Yeah, she is," Jamie smiled at Eddie. "Goodnight, Dad."

Eddie joined Jamie and leaned into his side, "Everything okay?"

"Yes, my father thinks you take good care of me too." Jamie pecked Eddie on the lips. Jamie slid his arm around her shoulders, "Come on, let's go to bed. I am so exhausted."

That night they did not make love, Jamie held Eddie close to him and fell into a very deep but uneasy sleep. In his dreams he kept seeing his role reversed. Danny holding him back as he tried to run after Eddie on the gurney. _"Jamie, you can't go. You can't…You have to wait."_

" _I have to go!" Jamie shouted bucking against Danny's arms. "I have to, she needs me. She's the love of my life, please!"_

" _You can't," Danny said again. "You can't love her, Jamie. You can't love her…"_

" _I do…I do..I love her!"_

 _Danny held Jamie for hours to keep him still. When the doctors came out, their faces were grim. "We're so sorry…"_

 _Jamie didn't need to hear anything else, he started screaming._

The screams woke Eddie from a sound sleep. She sat up and pulled Jamie to her breast, "Jamie, it's okay. It's okay, Linda is fine. Danny is fine, everyone is fine. Ssh."

Jamie sat up and kicked his legs over the edge of the bed, "It wasn't Linda…It was you…"

Eddie sighed, "Jamie, I am fine. I am right here next to you. I love you so much. I promise you, we are the number one thing, okay. I won't ever leave you."

Jamie flopped back down on the bed, "Danny kept saying that I can't love you, but I do. So much." Jamie's mouth captured Eddie's. "I think we should talk about going public, about how and when."

Eddie smiled, "Yeah?" There were tears on Jamie's cheeks, she brushed them away.

"Yeah," Jamie replied. "Sorry about this. I don't usually…"

"Hey, today was very hard on you. If you can't count on me, your partner and your girlfriend, who can you count on? Lie down, let me hold you tonight."

Jamie smiled and snuggled to Eddie using her breast as a pillow. This time when he slept it was full of happy dreams….dreams of his future with Eddie by his side.


	12. Art of War - B

Jamie let himself into Eddie's apartment Sunday evening and was surprised to find the living room lights turned off and the house quiet. "Eddie?!" Jamie called out. She should be at home; they planned to meet here after dinner was over to discuss his family's reacting to their relationship. They knew that one or both of them would be transferred to another precinct, but that was the price they had to pay to be together in the open. After talking with Danny at church earlier that day, Jamie wasn't sure he was ready to pay that price.

"Eddie? You here?" Jamie called again.

"I'm here," Eddie replied stepping out of her bedroom in just a towel. "I did this new work out video I saw on line and I was perspiring so much I couldn't stand myself so there was no way you would be able to stand me."

Jamie smiled, "I brought some left overs." Wordlessly, he began setting up the plates. Eddie new her boyfriend well. She knew something was wrong by his body language and the stiff set of his shoulders.

"Jamie," Eddie said gently. "What happened at dinner? They were angry weren't they?"

"No," Jamie replied sighing as he handed her a plate. "I didn't' tell them."

"You didn't tell them?" Eddie's eyes shot open. She was angry and surprised that Jamie had apparently decided on his own not to go through with tell his family about them after all.

Eddie stood up, leaving the plate of delicious smelling leftovers on the table. "Jamie, I thought that we agreed the other night…"

"We did," Jamie interrupted wanting to head this off before Eddie got even more upset. "We did agree, and believe me, it has nothing to do with how much I love you or me changing my mind about us or anything like that."

Eddie crossed her arms, "Well, what does it have to do with?" she asked. "Because those all sound like reasons why you would decide not to tell your family after you and I decided…"

"I talked to Danny," Jamie explained going to take Eddie's hands and lead her back to the couch. "I talked to Danny and I am just…Linda was working in the hospital. People usually do not get shot at in the hospital, it's safe. You and I work on the streets of Manhattan and in spite of our best efforts, there is nothing safe about them. If Linda got hurt at the hospital, you could get hurt on the street."

"Okay…" Eddie was still confused. That was a risk they both agreed to take by dating each other. One or both could get hurt at any given time, and just like Danny, there would be very little either of them could do about it except be there when it was all said and done.

Eddie was still confused, Jamie could see that. "I know we understand the risks, Eddie, but all the while we were talking Danny kept saying things like, "If only I was there," or "If only I was with her," and it got me thinking that right now you and I are the safest we will ever be on the job, watching each other's backs. If I tell my family, we have to tell Sarge and if we tell Sarge…"

"Jamie…" Eddie squeeze his hand. "You are rambling. Calm down and just tell me."

"I'm scared, Eddie," Jamie confessed. "I'm scared to tell my family and end up getting a new partner. Right now, I'm there for you and God forbid the worst happens I'll be right by your side. If we go public and get transferred and something terrible happens to you, I might not even get to say "I love you" one more time before you are gone. That will be too much like Joe. Losing Vinny was hard, it was really hard holding him while he died, but at least I have the comfort of knowing he knew love and kindness in his final moments. I don't have that comfort with Joe and if we get separated, I won't have it with you either. I got through Joe, I got through Vinny, but you…"

Jamie's eyes filled and he turned his head, ashamed of himself. It was incredibly selfish of him to ask Eddie to continue to lie to everyone around her for his fear but that was what he was doing.

"Jamie," Eddie sighed reaching up for his face. He resisted her attempt to turn his head. "Jamie, look at me," she demanded.

Jamie never could deny Eddie when she used that tone. "You have no idea how much…how much I wish you didn't have to face the pain of losing your brother or losing a partner, but you did, and it was not your fault, just like if I got shot or stabbed or anything like that, it wouldn't be your fault, whether you were my partner or not."

Jamie nodded, "Eddie, I can't. I think I have to work through it, the fear and the…I have to work through what Linda getting shot…It brought up all the anxieties that Sydney used to talk about when I first went on the job, the Linda talks about…it brought it all up. I'm not only cop now, I'm in a relationship with one. That feels so different and so scary…"

"I know it's scary," Eddie sympathized. "I'm scared too. I'm scared that when kiss before we head to work I'm not going to feel that way again, but we can't let it run our lives. We can't let fear hold us back."

Jamie swallowed the lump in his throat, "I know. I promise you, I won't but I just need a little more time. My brother almost lost his wife working in a hospital, I haven't' seen Danny break like I did that night, not even for Joe."

Eddie could see how upset Jamie was, he was truly afraid of losing her to the job. "Okay…" Eddie cupped Jamie's cheeks and brushed his tears. "Okay, we can keep quiet a little longer, but promise me this one thing?"

Jamie covered Eddie's small hands with his larger ones, "Anything."

"If you or anyone in your family gets sick or hurt, you either tell the truth or lie like a rug to make sure that I can be by your side. I don't know how much it hurts to lose a brother or a partner, but it hurt a lot to have to step aside and not be there for you. I love you, Jamie and I want to be there when you need me. Promise me."

Jamie slid his hand to cradle the back of Eddie's head. He pulled her in for a light kiss before whispering, "I promise."

 **A/N: Sorry...Jamie chickened out on going public this time around. Next up, our two love birds head up to Jamie's old stomping ground, Massachusetts, for a little romantic R &R. Then the post eps will resume. Hope you enjoyed this installment, even though I teases you a little. Please forgive me. Hides face then peeks out. **


	13. Salem or Bust - A

**A/N: Huge thanks to Lawslave for going through this and the next chapters for me quickly so I can post the first sections of the vacation chapters this weekend and into early next week! Also, thank to the Salem, Massachusetts tourist board for keeping their website up to date so I can research the changes that have taken place since I was there enjoying a similar trip. As always, please leave feedback. I cherish your comments.**

"You all set?" Jamie asked Eddie as he closed his duffle. The cab will be here in a half hour to take us to the airport. Eddie zipped her suitcase closed and wheeled it out to the living room. "All set. Are you sure flying is the right idea?" Eddie had taken he two weeks of vacation she had coming to her while Jamie was recovering from a back injury he sustained on the job. He would be out at least two more weeks himself, so they planned a romantic getaway, just the two of them. They hoped it would be a beautifully romantic and relaxing week. They'd begin in Salem, move south along the coast to Quincy, followed by Plymouth and finally Cape Cod.

"I'm sure," Jamie replied. "I just have to take it slow, but I'm really much better. The doctors have said so, and so did the department trainer. Stop worrying, I'll be back in the car with you in no time."

Jamie had kept his promise to Eddie when a perp had sent him down a flight of stairs on his back nearly the entire way. He told Danny that he wanted his partner close, that he was concerned that his tumble had shaken her up. Danny bought it and no one said a word about Eddie' presence at the hospital or the house while Jamie healed the first few days. Now he was back at his own apartment, they explained Eddie's presence as concern for her partner and her best friend.

Their flight into Boston's Logan Airport was a pleasant one, and after claiming their bags, the pair approached the car rental desk, ready to get on their way.

"I'm sorry I didn't plan this better," Eddie apologized as they waited on the seemingly endless Avis rental car line. "Want me to hold the bag for a bit?"

"No, it's fine," he said. "The line's not your fault, honey. Don't let something small like this start the week out badly."

"I'm glad you think like that," Eddie sighed, slipping her arm around his waist. "How did your back feel during the landing? It was pretty bumpy."

"It's okay," Jamie assured her. "Not a twinge."

Eddie looked up and smiled. "Good. Oh, they're opening another line."

With quick movement she and Jamie became the third couple in that line. After scanning Jamie's ID and insurance, their representative Samuel handed Jamie the keys. "Here you are, slip 16."

"Finally," said Jamie, reaching for a pen on the counter to sign the forms in front of him. It felt like it took forever.

A few minutes later they arrived hand in hand at slip 16 to find a relatively new convertible, a Mustang. Eddie frowned when she saw the small two seater car and beamed. At least they got that right. Eddie knew how much Jamie adored American heavy metal.

Jamie beamed and with Eddie's help loaded their bags into the small trunk. Eddie smiled. "Sometimes you don't realize your own limitations," she scolded him gently for trying to pick up too many bags at once, causing a small wince. Jamie started the engine and pulled away from the airport and turned towards northbound I-95.

"Sometimes," he agreed. "But regardless, we're having fun this week." He reached over and took her hand in his.

Eddie turned on the radio and they listened to music and chatted as they drove towards their first destination. "What do you want to see when we get there?" she asked. "The witch stuff, the maritime stuff, the pirate stuff..."

"Definitely the witch stuff. I saw some of it when I was up here with Spencer. You'll think it's great." he said. "We'll figure it out after we get settled in."

"The book says its worth it to get the combination ticket that takes you to the Witch History Museum, the Witch Dungeon, and the New England Pirate Museum" Eddie read as they drove along.

"Sounds great to me" he said. "I guess I never realized you were into that sort of thing, but I'm glad you are."

"When we get to Plymouth we have to see the Mayflower replica and Plymouth Rock. Oh and there's this place where they recreated homes like the ones the Pilgrims lived in. We can see how our forefathers actually lived. There's something sort of interesting about that."

"Yeah, there is," Jamie agreed, he was a closet history buff. "Makes you thankful that we have all the modern conveniences we have."

"Uh huh" Eddie replied.

"Our hotel is supposed to be really nice. No hot tub though, but they do have a big regular tub."

Jamie smiled his sexiest smile, the one that turned her legs to rubber every time. "Think we can find a use for that?"

"Nah," Eddie sighed. "What would we do with a tub?"

"Some of our best moments together have involved tubs," Jamie reminded her.

"Hey, pull over for a minute!" Eddie said suddenly.

"Okay," he said, signaling and pulling off onto the shoulder of the highway. "Are you sick?" he asked, his hand once again on her thigh.

She shook her head and smiled a little.

"Eddie, sweetie," he said, "I'm honestly not in the mood for any games right now. If you're sick or upset, then by all means tell me, but I've got a headache and I'm just not up for guessing what's on your mind."

Eddie's smile grew, and she reached across the seat to wrap her arms around his neck. With gentle pressure she pulled his face towards hers taking his lips in a soul stirring kiss. She kept the pressure light at first then let it build up as she used the tip of her tongue to open his mouth. As quickly as she approached she pulled back. "Okay, you can drive again. I just didn't want you to get in an accident while I satisfied my loneliness."

He smiled ear-to-ear. "You're gonna keep me on my toes all week, aren't you?"

"You got that right, Lambchop," Eddie replied. "I love you."

"And I love you," he said, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb as he pulled back onto the highway.

They chatted idly for the rest of the trip until they arrived at their lodging. She had booked them a deluxe room at the Salem Inn, a bed and breakfast type facility a half mile from the cities restaurants and attractions. It was an attractive brick structure, in traditional colonial style. "Here we are," she announced as they pulled up to the twenty minute parking sign. "How did I do?"

"Very nicely, baby. This place is gorgeous."

"Want to stay here and relax while I check us in?" Eddie asked.

"Let's both go," Jamie said. "I'm okay, I promise. Back is fine, headache is still there, but I'll live."

"I'm worried," Eddie sighed and took his hand as they both started for the front of their hotel.

"About me?" he asked.

"No, about that guy we passed on the road with the tin can" Eddie replied. "Of course about you."

He chuckled. "Are you worried I'll throw my back out again?"

Eddie nodded only once. Seeing him get hurt had shaken her.

"Please don't worry so much that it detracts from our time together this week. We haven't had any alone time like this since our we got together, and life since then has been more than wild. We need this break; we deserve it, so let's try not to worry about anything."

"I'll try, but I won't promise" Eddie replied. "But honey..."

"Hmm?" he said as he opened the door for her.

"When we get upstairs you rest your back and your head okay?"

"If it'll make you feel better. Certainly."

Eddie smiled. "Good."

The check in procedure was easy and soon they were entering their room. It had a large king size bed, a fireplace, and a huge whirlpool bathtub. The window that looked out on the trees beyond the property was covered in a light lace drapery. There was a loveseat next to the fireplace, just under the window. Eddie could imagine snuggling there with Jamie in the morning reading the paper as they enjoyed fruit and bagels from the continental breakfast. "Wow, this a really pretty room."

"You did a great job, baby. This place is so pretty." He sat down on the bed and kicked his shoes off before lying back against the pillow and rubbing his face with his hands.

"What's wrong?" she asked watching the action as she began to unpack their suitcases.

"Headache," he replied. "It'll pass."

"What brought that on?" Eddie asked, moving to the hygiene bag to unpack the aspirin.

"Dunno" he answered.

She was at his side a moment later with two pills. "Here. We have seven o'clock dinner reservations. Think you can make it?"

"Easily," he said, taking the aspirin from her. "Can I have some water, please?"

"Sure," Eddie replied and a moment later was back with a glass of water and a cool wash cloth. She handed him the water so he could swallow the pills. "Close your eyes."

He took down the aspirin, set the glass on the table, and closed his eyes as she asked.

Eddie set the cool cloth she'd prepared over his closed eyes. "You relax there," she whispered, kissing his cheek. "I'll get us settled in."

"Okay" he said, nestling his head a bit deeper into the posh pillow and letting the aspirin work its magic.

Eddie busied herself unpacking their bags and reading the tour book while Jamie napped on the bed. He slept just over two hours when she knelt on the bed and tapped his cheek. "Time to get up, sweetie."

Slowly, he came to and pulled the wash cloth from his eyes. "Hey, beautiful."

"You feeling better?" Eddie asked, running her hand over his forehead. "Did you have a nice nap?"

"Mm-hmm," he answered. "Head doesn't hurt anymore."

"That's good, you hungry?" she asked. It was then he noticed she'd already dressed for dinner, wearing a black skirt with pink flowers on it with a sleeveless pink top and sandals.

"Yeah," he replied, sitting up. "You look amazing."

"Thank you," Eddie smiled. "It's 5:30. You better get changed for dinner. It's about a mile from here, do you want to drive part way and stroll around or drive there directly, then roam the city?"

"Do you have a preference?" he asked, standing up and pulling his shirt off.

"I was thinking we drive to the municipal lot closest to the restaurant, then we can walk along and find some of the places we want to see, then go back to the car and drive here."

"Works for me," he said, slipping his jeans off and tossing them over the back of a chair. "What am I supposed to wear tonight, baby?"

"Why not those khaki pants I got you and that navy blue Henley?" Eddie suggested.

"Alright," he said, heading for the closet where she'd hung up most of their clothes. "What are we dining on this fine evening?"

"Lobster," Eddie replied. "Or in my case lobster and steak."

"Oh, going all fancy on me, huh?" he joked, smiling at her as he pulled his slacks on.

"Tonight," Eddie replied. "Its our first night here. Jamie?"

"Yeah?"

Eddie didn't say anything she just opened her arms to tell him what she wanted.

Jamie walked over to Eddie and took her in his arms holding her tight for a moment. "Later," he whispered and returned to dressing. The couple drove to a parking lot two blocks away from their dining choice that night, Captain's Waterfront Grill. The dining room was dimly lit with upholstered chairs and linen table cloths, a very nice place. They were seated in the back at a quiet table and left to peruse the menu after putting in drink orders so a bottle of house white wine.

"I don't know what I want," Jamie complained. "Too much to choose from."

"Do you like swordfish?" Eddie asked. "That looks good."

"Yeah, it does," he said. "Can't decide if I want that or the grilled lobster."

"Why don't you get that, I'll get grilled lobster and we can each have some of the other" Eddie suggested. "Or we can do it the other way too."

"We'll get both and share, sounds good."

Eddie smiled and soon the waiter brought their drinks and took their dinner orders.

The food came at a reasonable pace and the pair continued to talk as they ate. Eddie read him the itinerary she'd made as he'd napped and they got their week as planned as possible. By the time they left the restaurant, they were full and happy. "You feel like a walk?"

"A walk sounds wonderful. Where to?"

"We can go into the city and find some of those museums and stuff. There's supposed to be a trial reenactment in the square too, about 9:30. Want to go?" she asked slipping her arm around his waist and beginning to walk towards the green.

"Yeah," he said, putting his arm around her shoulders. "I'll do anything you want to do this week, Eddie. Everything you've found to do up here sounds like a lot of fun."


	14. Salem or Bust - B

Snuggling close to each other Jamie and Eddie strolled towards the center of the town. Near one of the museums they could see a small gathering of people most in regular clothing, some in period dress. One of the older ladies, a rotund woman in her fifties approached Jamie and Eddie, "Did ye hear?"

"Uh, no," said Jamie, a little bit confused.

"Oh ye haven't!" she squawked. "Well they've finally done it. Bridget Bishop is about to be arrested for witchcraft. The devil is lurking in Salem."

"Really?" said Eddie. "That's a frightening thought."

"Come this way...there's the magistrate now!" the woman said and began to walk towards the center where indeed a man dressed in 17th Century Puritan clothing was binding the hands of a woman in her fifties and announcing to all that she, Bridget Bishop, had been named a witch.

Eddie snuggled closer to Jamie as the watched this take place.

"This looks interesting," said Jamie. "Think so?"

"Uh huh, what are we supposed to do?" Eddie asked watching the cattle cart begin to roll down the cobblestone street. "Follow?"

Eddie and Jamie followed the crowd listening as the costumed actors cackled and belittled the prisoner. As they walked Eddie looked about taking in the surroundings, she gave a small shiver and her step faltered on one of the stones.

"You okay, babe?" he asked, helping her catch her balance.

"I think so" Eddie replied. "I'm not used to these kinds of streets in sandals."

"Yeah" he said "Not exactly easy to walk on."

"You doing okay?" she asked as the continued to follow the crowd.

"Mm-hmm," he answered. "That little nap did me good."

"I'm glad," Eddie whispered as they approached a restored building and one of the costumed interpreters began to explain what was about to take place. "Welcome to 1692. It is April and Goody Bishop of Salem has been accused of witchcraft and the affliction of Mercy Lewis and Anne Putnam. As we step inside, her accusers will give evidence and she will be tried by a jury according to English law and the laws of Massachusetts Bay Colony. If she is found guilty, she will be hanged. If she is found innocent, she will be set free. Ladies and Gentlemen, you are Goody Bishop's jury, her lawyers, and her accusers. You may in an orderly fashion question Goody Bishop and those who give evidence against her. Once the examination is concluded, you will be asked to vote and determine Bridget Bishop's fate."

"Oh boy," whispered Jamie to Eddie. "This should be very enlightening."

"You want to go in or just walk around?" Eddie asked. She didn't want him to do anything he didn't want to, but this whole idea intrigued her.

"Let's go in," he said. "We're in law enforcement, it'll be very interesting to see how different things are now versus then."

Eddie and Jamie followed the crowd up a long winding staircase. The large room was set up like a 17th century English courtroom. There was the witness box and a roped in area for the accused to "stand" trial. There was a bench for three judges and seats where the "afflicted" girls should be seated. "Can you sit on these benches?" Eddie asked seeing the long white backless seating in the room.

"Yeah," he replied. "For a little while anyway; if I get to hurting, I'll just stand up in the back."

Eddie nodded and the pair took seats near the back so if he did have to stand, he wouldn't be far off from her. Once everyone was settled the woman they'd seen arrested in the square was brought inside. As soon as she was visible to the girls they began to writhe and act out, screeching and yelling and moaning. "Sounds like some of Nikki's friends."

Jamie chuckled. "Right."

The magistrate pounded his long gavel on the floor and called the court to order. The charges were read aloud to the assembly and the accused was asked to respond.

"Bishop what do you say as you here stand charged with sundry acts of witchcraft by you done or committed upon the bodies of Mercy Lewis and Ann Putnam and others?" the man portraying one Mr. Hathorne queried.

"I am innocent I know nothing of it I have done no witchcraft" the accused proclaimed.

"Look upon this woman and see if this be the woman that you have seen hurting you. Mercy Lewis and Ann Putnam and others do now charge her to her face with hurting of them. What do you say now you see they charge you to your face?" asked the judge.

Bishop replied. "I never did hurt them in my life. I did never see these persons before I am as innocent as the child unborn."

"Is not your coat cut?" the judge asked.

Jamie and Eddie studied the accused as she denied her coat was torn, but when the magistrate took it to examine it was indeed torn in two ways, one consistent with a scabbard cut made at the good woman by one of her accusers, Mr. Jonathan Walcoate.

"I'd love to get that Mr. Walcoate in the box," Eddie whispered.

"Me too," replied Jamie. "We'd break him for sure."

"Oh Goody Bishop, did you not come to our house the last night and did you not tell me that your master made you tell more than you were willing to tell?" asked one of the torment girls, Mercy Lewis.

"Tell us the truth in this matter how comes these persons to be thus tormented and to charge you with doing?" the judge pressed.

As the trial continued Eddie and Jamie listened to the outrageous testimony and accusations. The actress portraying Bridget Bishop kept denying she was a witch. Judge Hathorne asked, "Who is that doth it if you do not they say it is your likeness that comes and torments them and tempts them to write in the book? What book is that you tempt them with?"

"I know nothing of it I am innocent!" Bishop declared again looking about the courtroom, eyes seeming to fall on Jamie's as she did so.

"She's innocent," he whispered to Eddie.

"And you know that how?" Eddie challenged in an equal tone.

"I can see it in her eyes." he answered. "Plus these charges are completely crazy. There's nowhere near enough proof let alone probable cause, not that they needed."

One of the cast members heard Jamie's comment. "Ah, the good gentlemen calls for proof!" the woman challenged. "And what say you to this as proof? Goody Bishop wedded three times, buried two husbands, and has never produced a single child. What say that? I say, a midwife, it is the devils hand at work."

Jamie rose from his seat. "It could very easily be that the accused has a medical condition which prevented her from conceiving. The fact that she has no children can hardly be called proof that she's a witch."

"And what of her presence in my bed chamber then?" asked man in the far corner. "What of my scabbard's marks on her coat?"

Jamie addressed his reply to the accused. "Goody Bishop, can you account for your whereabouts on the evening in question?"

"I was in bed of course," she replied. "In bed with my husband beside me."

"Can your husband offer testimony to back you up?" he asked, really getting into the role.

"He tends the farm, Sir." Bridget replied.

"What can you say in your own defense with regard to the cuts in your coat?" he asked, needing to go at it from a different angle with the husband being absent.

"I have no answer, Sir," Bridget replied. "A catch perhaps. Or perhaps it was done on purpose as I worked in the taverns two days passed."

Jamie continued to question Goody Bishop about her daily activities and to her credit the actress who portrayed her handled every one. Finally though, the afflicted girls began again, claiming the "specter" of Goody Bishop was afflicting them.

"Do you not see how they are tormented? You are acting witchcraft before us. What do you say to this? Why have you not a heart to confess the truth?" the judge badgered.

"I am innocent. I know nothing of it. I am no witch; I know not what a witch is" Bishop cried.

"Have you not given consent that some evil spirit should do this in your likeness?" the judge asked.

Bishop denied it again. "No, I am innocent of being a witch. I know no man, woman or child here."

"And do you have comment to that, Sir?" the judge asked Jamie. "The specter of Goody Bishop, that is the same as she herself doing evil for she allowed her likeness to be used to the Devil's work."

"That still has not been proven beyond a reasonable doubt," said Jamie.

"And what cause have you to doubt the testimony of the good Reverend's own niece?" the judge asked.

"That she's the Reverend's niece doesn't make her testimony infallible" replied Jamie. "Not one of the accusers can show, with more certainty than doubt, that this woman is guilty of anything."

"She bears a witches mark and her specter was seen by several witnesses" the judge argued.

"Spectral evidence does not stand in His majesty's court" Jamie replied. "This is a royal colonial court, not an inquisitors court."

This continued for a few more moments until the cross examination of other witnesses was permitted. Jamie thundered at them as he would perp on the street trying to get information. Finally it was time to vote on the verdict. "All those who believe that Goody Bridget Bishop is guilty of the crime of witchcraft say I" the magistrate proclaimed.

The actors said "I" but no one else. "All those who believe her to be innocent" the magistrate presented, "say I". The votes were overwhelming from the crowd leaving the magistrate no choice. "Bridget Bishop, you have been tried and thusly acquitted by a jury of your peers of the charge of witchcraft. You are free to go."

The judge banged the gavel, and Eddie rose and offered her hand to Jamie.

"That was a real rush," he said as he took her hand. "Did you like it?"

"Yes!" Eddie smiled. "You really got into that."

Before Jamie could reply he was approached by an older gentleman. "Lawyer?"

Jamie smiled. "No, police officer, NYPD but I went to Harvard law school. Was it that obvious?"

"Cop, no. Lawyer yes. No one else would know the spectral evidence did not hold up in an English court" the man smiled. "And this lovely woman would be?"

"This is my girlfriend, Eddie" answered Jamie. "She's also a police officer. I'm Jamie." He offered his hand to the gentleman.

"It's nice to meet you, enjoy the city," he smiled and turned away.

Eddie looked up at Jamie, her face straight. She wanted something; _that_ he knew, but she didn't say what.

"Something on your mind, babe?" he asked.

Eddie held her arms up to him but still said nothing.

He opened his arms to her. "Come here."

Eddie buried her face in his chest a moment inhaling his scent. "I love you," she whispered rocking back and forth a bit.

He pulled her in even closer. "Are you okay? You seem upset."

"I'm okay," Eddie replied. "I just want to be held. Nothing wrong with that, right?"

"No" he said, "except this is me you're talking to and I know something's on your mind, sweetie. You wanna go back to the room?"

"Yeah," Eddie replied. "Its getting late and I'm starting to get a headache."

"Okay" he said, giving her one last squeeze before letting go and reaching for her hand. "Let's go."

They strolled through the streets once again, passing several of the museums they would tour the next day before they reached the car. "How you doing? Good?" she asked him.

"Fine," he said. "Getting tired though, it's been a long day."

Eddie smiled. "Want me to drive back?"

"No, I can get us a half mile, sweetie," he said. "But thanks."

Jamie drove the rental car back to the hotel. Eddie remained quiet as they rode and went into their room.

Eddie quickly changed into her nightgown, Jamie smiled at her then changed himself. Something was bothering Eddie; he knew that. And he wanted to know what. Once she was in his arms, he'd press her and then he'd show her how much he loved her and make her smile. "Yes," he thought. "Perfect."

"Feel better?" he asked when she emerged from the bathroom.

"I'm good," Eddie replied sliding into bed and snuggling close. "You were amazing tonight. Jamison Reagan single handedly changed history."

"I don't know about _that_ ", he replied as he pulled her near. "It sure was fun though."

"Yes it was," Eddie agreed. "This is going to be a really nice vacation."

"I know it will," he said. "But not if you're going to be hurting in silence, sweetheart. I know something is on your mind."

She mumbled something so softly and close to his chest he couldn't hear her.

"I can't hear you, Eddie," he said gently.

"I missed a period," she said again. "All the talk about babies and midwives I realized."

Jamie sighed. "I wondered if that might not be what was bothering you," he said, caressing her arm. "I realized that you hadn't had any tampons in the garbage this month."

"It's not bothering me," Eddie replied. "I mean I'm not stewing over it...it's just I can't help but think, if I am pregnant, what am I going to do?"

"You mean, what are we going to do? What are we…" Jamie replied. "The answer is come clean and do the right thing by each other. Don't let it worry you. If you are then you are and it's a miracle. If you aren't, one day, we'll have a family."

"We will," Eddie smiled. "Did I tell you I love you yet today?"

"You did," he said, leaning in closer to her. "But I'd love to hear it again."

Eddie placed a tiny kiss on his chest where he head lay. "I love you."

He reached down and placed his fingers beneath her chin, moving it up to where their lips were inches apart. "I love you, too" he said before giving her a long, gentle kiss.

Eddie accepted Jamie's kiss but soon pulled back. "Do you want to eat the breakfast here or go somewhere else tomorrow?"

"We can eat here," he said, moving a few stray locks of hair behind her ear.

"I'll go down then and get it," Eddie told him. "We'll be walking a lot and I want you to rest your back as much as you can. I'm glad you've got those sexy legs up by the way, saves me from scolding you about it."

He smiled. "I'm learning." He reached up and caressed her cheek with his thumb.

"Mm," Eddie sighed. "I'm tired. I want to try to sleep okay?"

"We will," he said softly as he moved to tuck another lock of hair behind her ear.

Eddie was not in the mood to even entertain the notion, but Jamie's voice was so gentle, as was his touch, so she let him begin to love her without protest.

He started with a long, tender kiss, knowing she wasn't truly in the mood and hoping he could change that.

Eddie let Jamie kiss her and returned his loving kiss with one of her own. She let him touch her, she let him run his hands down her arms, up her chest, she wanted this as much as he did in her heart, but her mind and her body just wasn't into it.

He noticed how detached she was compared to normal, Jamie propped himself up on one elbow, "We don't have to do this. I can tell you aren't ready for this right now." Jamie wanted to be with her, to love her, to make her feel safe and secure when her mind was spinning with what ifs. He knew the fear that he would leave her to raise the baby on her own, if there was a baby was realy to her, even though he would never in a million years think of such a thing.

"I…" Eddie sighed. "I want to be."

Taking that as encouragement, Jamie tried a few more of her secret places to get her body to catch up with her heart. He reached around himself with one arm and pulled his shirt off, tossing it into a corner. He then reached down and gently pulled her sleep shorts off. Tossing the shorts in the same direction as his shirt, he lifted her T-shirt up a few inches and began placing feather soft kisses against her tummy.

Eddie shivered at his lips on her tummy and weakly moved her hands in to touch the warm skin of his back gently in minimal response to his ministrations. What was wrong with her? This was her Jamie in her arms…

As suddenly as Eddie began to touch him, she stopped, letting her arms fall back. She felt him move for her breasts, touching them softly with his hands, studying them, adoring them with his eyes and his mouth.

He took care to be extra gentle, knowing that this was something she usually adored, but it could sometimes be a bit painful for her, and that would surely destroy any progress they'd made that evening. She was lying still beneath him, still and silent. "Does this feel okay, baby?" he whispered.

Eddie didn't know how to reply. There was nothing bad or discomforting about what Jamie was doing, but nothing wonderful about it either, at least not to her. "Mmhmm" she replied, on the side of neutrality.

"Jamie" she sighed. "Stop…I…I just can't tonight Everything is so jumbled up." She began to cry just a little, she knew she was letting him down. "I..." she sniffled. "I didn't want…I don't feel like doing this and I didn't want to tell you…I…"

"Eddie, I'm so sorry. I was...I didn't mean to push you, baby."

"You didn't. I really wanted to try," Eddie sniffled. "Everything is sore right now, I don't…"

He pulled her into his arms and let her cry. "I'm sorry...Shh...It's okay...I love you, and I'll give you as much time as you need, okay?" He knew he had no choice but to offer her that olive branch, but inside he was hurting. Eddie had never rejected him like this, and he longed to know the reason behind it. Was it just the feminine problem she professed or was it worse than that?

For the first time that night, Eddie responded to his touch and burrowed deeper in his arms. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I love you, you know that?"

"I do know that," he whispered in reply. "I wish I could help you with this, sweetheart."

"You can't," she replied. "I don't know what it is. It's just since I didn't get my cycle, I don't want to…things hurt. I don't know why. I don't understand why," she cried. "All I want is to be held tight in your arms, nothing else. I can't stand anything else right now."

"Shh..." he soothed, pulling her in as close as he possibly could.

"Anything I can do" he said, rubbing her arm. "You just name it."

"You're doing it," she whispered and curled up harder trying to disappear inside of Jamie. "Is it okay if you just hold me, and don't let go?"

"That's okay, sure," he said, giving her one more gentle hug. "Let's get some sleep, we have a lot to do this week, and I want to be rested enough to enjoy it. I love you, baby."

"I love you too" she whispered, closing her eyes and snuggling against him, feeling more secure in his arms that she could remember.

 **A/N: So what did you think of Eddie's news? Is she or isn't she? If she is, what will that do to their secret. If she's not…is the idea of a family something that Jamie and Eddie will embrace someday? Hope you all liked Jamie's foray into the colonial legal system…he has to take that big brain out for a spin sometimes. The dialogue used by the actors during the trial is transcribed from the actual trial transcript of Bridget Bishop housed in the Peabody Essex museum in Salam.**


	15. Salem or Bust C

Eddie woke before Jamie the following morning and decided to let him sleep while she showered and went down to the continental breakfast buffet. There she got a couple glasses of orange juice and two cups of coffee along with two bagels, a muffin for Jamie, and a jelly doughnut for herself.

He was still sound asleep when she returned, and it was nearing 9:00 am. Eddie set down the food tray and gently patted his cheek. "Rise and shine, lamb chop."

He turned towards her and mumbled a bit before he opened his eyes.

"Hey there, sleepyhead. Time to get up and greet the morning!" she smiled. "Sleep well?"

"Mm-hmm" he replied, wiping the sleep from his eyes. "You get breakfast?"

"I did," Eddie replied. "I got us bagels and you a muffin. I also got juice. It's on the desk."

"Any coffee?" he inquired.

"Jamie, how long have we been living together?" Eddie asked.

"Almost 5 months," he replied.

"And in five months has there _ever_ been a morning when there wasn't any coffee?" Eddie asked.

"Uh, none I can think of," he answered with a little smile.

"Then why is it that every morning I'm up before you, you ask me if there's coffee?" Eddie asked with a laugh.

He laughed at himself. "Good question, baby."

"Of course there's coffee" she replied. "Two cups for my sleepy lamb chop. You getting up?"

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled as he tossed back the covers and crawled out of bed. "Did you sleep well?" he asked, leaning in to kiss her forehead.

"As well as I ever do," she replied. "Is this bed okay for your back? I'm pretty stiff this morning."

"It's okay, I suppose," he answered, placing a hand on his back as he spoke. "I'm a little stiff, not bad though."

"I'll call down and have them put a back board under the mattress. It's really soft" she replied. "Do you need a back rub?"

"Nah, I'm okay," he said. "Let's dig into that good looking food; I'm hungry."

"Go for it babe," Eddie replied. "Kiss first."

"But of course," he said with a smile as he leaned down to kiss her lightly on the lips.

Eddie smiled and made her way over to the small table near the fire place. Jamie joined her and they ate and chatted about their day's plans. "Is there anything special you want to do today?" Eddie asked.

"Not especially," he said, taking a drink of orange juice. "What would you like to do?"

"Well, we _are_ in Salem" she smiled. "So we have to do the witch trial museums and go to the memorial. There's a pirate museum that comes with a combination ticket to two of the witch trial museums. Why don't we start there?"

"Works for me," he said, finishing the last bite of his muffin. "You want to shower first or you want me to?"

"I already showered," Eddie replied. "I was up long before you for a change."

He smiled. "Well, I guess it's my turn then, huh?"

Jamie jumped into the shower and got himself ready for the day. He made short work of his shower and shave routine and emerged from the bathroom in jeans and a pull over tee.

Eddie smiled. "You ready to go there, lamb chop?"

"All set," he answered, grabbing his keys from the nightstand.

"Do think we'll need sweaters?" Eddie asked as she grabbed her backpack.

"Probably," he said. "It's not very warm out there once the sun sets."

Eddie packed the rest of the necessary items into the back pack then put it on. "Where to first?"

"Let's start at the pirate museum. I went there once and I think you'll really like it."

Jamie drove their rental car to a municipal lot in the center of town. The city looked less

foreboding in the light and was a bustle with tourists of all ages. Hand in hand Jamie and Eddie made their way to the museum. They stood in the line to purchase their tickets.

A few minutes later after the clerk had explained how their tickets worked she told them, "You two can join that tour. There's two more places left."

"Great" said Jamie. "Thank you."

Eddie and Jamie joined the large family and three others. Soon their guide, a middle-aged man dressed like Smee from _Peter Pan,_ approached and began to explain the history and mythology of New England Pirates.

The group proceeded through the exhibits looking at recreations of pirate ships and villages. A recreation of Blackbeard made Eddie jump when it made an unexpected animated motion.

"You okay?" Jamie asked her.

"Yeah, that startled me. I was about to reach for my piece," she smiled. "You want to check out the treasure?"

Jamie and Eddie checked out the treasure and the bat cave following the winding halls of the museum until they came out on the other side. There in the gift shop where the pair browsed, Jamie picked up a pirate hat. "For Danny?" he laughed.

"He's love that," Eddie replied rolling her eyes. "I want to save my money for Plymouth, they have an outlet mall." Jamie kissed the side of her head, watching as her face turned pink.

"You okay?" Jamie asked pulling her to sit on a bench.

"Yeah, I just got really hot all of sudden. I'm fine, let's go we have a lot to see."

They headed over to the next stop on their tour, The Witch History Museum. They were met by their guide and given a history of the Salem Witch Trials before being led down a long, dimly lit staircase. In spite of the sign that said "Watch Your Step" Jamie's faltered, but he caught himself on the railing. "Jamie!" Eddie exclaimed seeing his near fall.

"I'm okay, I'm okay" he said, catching his breath. "I'm okay."

"You sure?" she asked as the tour guide made her way up to check.

"Mm-hmm," he said. "I didn't feel anything pop or pull; I'm fine, sweetie."

"Are you all right, sir?" the guide asked. "We lose about two a day to that step."

"Yeah, I'm okay," he said. "But if this step is such a liability, why doesn't the management do something about it."

"We are going to get more light installed in here," she replied. "Thank you for the advice though. Care to make your way down to the bottom of the steps. Be careful, they get steep."

"Understood," said Jamie, holding the railing extra tight as he made his way down the remaining steps.

At the bottom the tour guide joined them. The corridors did indeed resemble a forest, complete with leaves on the trees. "These scenes will depict the saga of the Salem Witch Trials. In 1692, 11 year old Abigail Williams and her nine year old cousin Betty Parrish..." She began and indicated the first scene of a black slave woman and two young girls. Eddie and Jamie made their way along the paths taking in the scenes of early American life. "I just can't believe it," she whispered.

"Believe what?" he whispered in reply.

"That anyone would do this" she pointed to the depiction of Gallows Hill.

"Yeah, it's pretty unreal" he said. "Pretty frightening."

Eddie slipped her arm around Jamie's waist as they continued on. "Out of the nineteen deaths that occurred during the witch hunt, perhaps the most gruesome was that of Giles Corey. He refused to enter a plea when charged with witchcraft shortly after testifying against his wife Martha on a similar charge. The court ordered that he be "pressed" until he entered his plea. He died after two days. Legend has it that his ghost haunts Burying Point and the area around it."

"How horrible," gasped Jamie. "Can you imagine?"

Eddie nodded. "Yes I can."

They continued through until once again they spilled out into a gift shop. "That was really interesting" Eddie observed. "I'd like to go up there."

"Where?" he asked.

"To Burying Point," she replied. "After supper maybe."

"If you want to" he said. "Anything else you want to do here, babe?"

"We have the Dungeon Museum left on our ticket," she reminded him. "Let's do that, then maybe a swim at the Inn?"

"Lead the way, my love" he smiled.

Once again hand in hand Eddie and Jamie walked through the streets towards their next destination. They were nearly there when she felt something bump her leg. She looked down to see an adorable little boy, no more than three, in tears and all alone.

She was the one who knelt down this time. "Where's are your mommy and daddy, sweetie?"

The little tot with dark brown hair and blue eyes continued to cry and shrugged.

"Jamie, he's lost," Eddie said.

He knelt down beside Eddie and the little boy. "What's your name, big guy?" he asked the tot.

He sniffed. "Mikey."

"Hi, Mikey" said Jamie. "My name's Jamie and this is Eddie. Do you want us to help you find mommy and daddy?"

He shrugged again and cried harder burying his face in his shirt.

"Hey buddy, it's okay" said Jamie, reaching out to touch his head. "Don't cry; we'll find them. Do you want me to carry you?"

The tiny head nodded but stayed hidden, an action that disturbed Eddie. "Let's find a someone from Salem PD, Jamie."

"Good idea" he said, picking the little boy up gently and holding him close.

Before Jamie and Eddie could locate a police officer, two teens approached. "What are you doing with him?" the young man asked. "Where were you?" he asked the little boy loudly.

The boy began to cry even harder in Jamie's embrace. "He was lost," said Jamie, feeling protective of Mikey. "My girlfriend and I found him alone and crying over there and were looking for a police officer to help us find his parents. I assume that would be you two?"

"Not me," the boy replied. "Her, yeah. Come here Mikey."

The child clung tighter to Jamie, a stranger, showing no desire to go to the man who Jamie assumed was at least somewhat familiar.

"It's okay, Mikey" said Jamie, trying to gently pull the boy away from his shoulder. "Go on."

The small arms finally relented and Jamie handed the boy to the teen. "Thank you, sir," the girl replied and took her son, setting him on the ground. "He knows not to run off like that."

"He's only three," Eddie said softly, taking mental notes trying to decide is a call to CPS was necessary. She knew that was stupid, they had nothing to go on.

"Yeah, but he knows better," said the girl. "Sorry he caused a problem."

Eddie nodded and began walking. She knew what was to be little Mikey's fate in the next few minutes, and she for one couldn't stand to watch.

Jamie sighed and shook his head. "You ready to go, babe?"

"More than," she replied and walked quickly towards their destination.

They walked to the black building with a stockade out front. "That's what I should do with you when you forget to talk out the garbage," Eddie teased.

"Oh, I think not" he said.

They stepped inside the building and were seated on the benches for a reenactment of the trial of one of the accused witches before being led into the dungeons. It was cold, and Eddie shivered a bit as they moved along the rows of cells, seeing images of women and men alike chained to walls in cells so tiny one could not lay or even sit down properly. Some held several people huddled together; there were even recreated rats in the cells to give it a proper feel. It was in one of these cells Eddie saw something that brought every emotion she'd felt since seeing that family with five children to a head. There were women chained inside, but not alone, there were children there too. "Oh, Jamie. The babies" she gasped as she began to visibly shake. She protectively put her hands over her belly, if there was a little baby growing inside, she would do anything to protect it.

"Are you okay, Eddie?" he asked, knowing with one look she wasn't.

With her whole body shaking she replied. "Yeah."

"I don't think you are," he said, noting the color that was suddenly absent from her face. "Come on; I'm getting you out of here."

"I...I can finish," she insisted. "It not so bad over there, maybe."

"No" he said gently yet insistently. "We're done. You look sick, and we're not going through the rest of this."

"Women and children alike would accuse one another. Four year old Dorcas Good accused her own mother Sarah. There are unsubstantiated reports of mothers accusing their children..." At those words, Eddie finally let out a sob and felt her knees slide out from under her.

Without another word, Jamie reached out and scooped her into his arms. "Is there any way out of here besides the one at the end?" he asked the tour guide.

"Is there a problem?" the girl asked. "There's only the exit at the end or back the way you came."

"She's not feeling well," he said. "Is it shorter to go back or go to the end?"

"We're about halfway through," she replied. "Just go straight and watch the steps at the end. You'll come out in the gift shop."

"Thank you," he said, hurrying down the hallway as Eddie continued to tremble and sob in his arms. He took great care to make certain her eyes were closed as they went past one frightening sight after another until finally they emerged in the gift shop.

"Put me down" she whimpered against his neck.

"Can you stand up?" he asked gently.

Eddie shrugged. "Put me down. I'm too heavy for you to carry."

"No, you're not," he said as he held her tight. "I think you need to lie down."

Eddie nodded hoping to hide her emotional torment inside the terrible images they'd just seen. "I don't feel very well" she sobbed then as the manager of the museum approached. "Sir, ma'am, is there a problem?"

"My girlfriend isn't feeling well," said Jamie. "Is there someplace she can lie down for a few minutes?"

"In the office," he replied. "This way."

Eddie shook her head. "I want to go home."

"You mean back to the hotel, sweetie?" asked Jamie.

She nodded but stayed buried. "I don't feel well."

"Sir, where is your vehicle?" the manager asked.

"In the municipal lot down the street," replied Jamie.

"Derby or Chestnut?"

"Derby."

"That's a bit of a walk. Why don't I sit with her and you can get the car?" he suggested. "One of our guides, Beth, will join us."

Jamie nodded. "Eddie, you lie on the couch and rest, I'm going to go get the car and be right back."

Eddie nodded and Jamie laid her down on the sofa. She rolled onto her side and pulled up her knees, making her body a tiny ball.

He left quickly and jogged the few blocks to the parking lot. Within 5 minutes, he arrived back at the museum. Parking in the street out front, he turned the flashers on and hurried inside to get his girl.

Jamie was met outside by the manager. "Do I need to call a doctor or something? I've seen people get upset but this...When Beth asked she said her stomach hurt."

"I know," Jamie replied. "This is really unlike Eddie, but I can handle it. Thanks for your concern."

"Are you sure I don't need to call?" he asked truly concerned about the young woman that was now sleeping in his office.

"I'm sure," said Jamie. "I'll take her back to the hotel and let her rest. If she's not better after that I will take her to an urgent care."

"She's gone to sleep I think" he replied and let Jamie inside. Eddie was indeed sleeping on the sofa. Jamie lifted her up and carried her to the car. He laid her in the backseat and drove the few minutes back to the hotel carefully. Once there, he lifted her and carried up to their room.

As he laid her on the bed, she awakened and looked at him with tear-filled eyes as she began to cry all over again. He pulled her close and let her cry.

When she could finally breathe again, she whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm embarrassed you and me…I can't believe I…"

"Don't be, sorry," he said softly. "That stuff was hard to look at even for me."

"It wasn't that stuff, I'm a cop, I can take that stuff," Eddie replied.

"What was it?" he asked, caressing her arm as he held her close.

"I don't want to talk about this right now. Let's just go swimming."

"No, Eddie" he said. "We need to talk about this now. You fell apart back there, and something has you all tied up in knots. It's not just a missed period."

"I want to be carrying your baby, Jamie. I want a little Mikey..I...I want it so badly. I never did before but since I met you…" she whispered as she made a high pitched squeaking noise in her throat.

He sighed and pulled her even closer. "I kind of thought that was it," he said. "I know that little boy got to you. The kids always get to us. I understand."

She shook her head. "No...you don't," she whispered. "If you really did you'd know that you not wanting this with me hurts."

"I _do_ want it, sweetie" he insisted. "I just...I'm not ready to go public with this yet. I like having you all to myself. If you're pregnant, it'll force our hand."

Eddie sniffed. "I know…I think I better be pregnant. If I'm not then I'm just crazy."

"You're not crazy, Eddie. You missed a period, so something is off. If it doesn't come by the end of the week, we'll get a test. If it's negative, we'll go see the doctor. We can go to one in Jersey to keep it quiet."

Eddie's eyes flashed! Keep it quiet! You really do want to hide me don't you! You'd be content to let me have this baby and never own up to that fact it's yours except to me. Are you that selfish? Maybe it's not about keeping me safe at all, I think you're ashamed of me!"

Eddie slid off the bed, "Eddie that is not true! You know it's not true. Honey, please calm down. Let's not ruin this week for us."

Eddie turned on her heal, "Tell you something Jamison. You just did!"

Eddie ran down the steps of the Inn with as much speed as she could muster. She didn't know where she was going to go, all she knew is that it would be as far away from Jamie as she could get. She could hear him coming after her, calling after her, but she kept going. She ran out of the Inn past the pool and the parking lot, past the restaurant on the corner until she spotted a sign for the wharf, she turned in that direction and lost herself in the crowd.

How could he do that? How could he hurt her like that? With an aching heart Eddie slowed her steps and walked towards the water, tears falling from her eyes as she went.

Jamie had followed behind her as far as the sidewalk in front of the Inn. When she kept walking despite his desperate calls out to her, he knew he was wasting his time. She needed some space; some time to think things through, and he needed to give it to her. With a heart almost as broken as Eddie's was at that moment, he turned and walked slowly back to the room, closed the door behind himself and flopped onto the bed to think things through.

Jamie didn't know how long he lay there, in fact he must have dozed off in his pain for when he next saw the clock, Eddie had been gone nearly two hours.

Fearing that something may have happened to her, he immediately got up, grabbed his jacket and car keys and headed out to look for her. He wasn't sure where to begin, but he knew she couldn't have gone to terribly far on foot, so he drove around the streets within a few blocks of their hotel, looking left and right in hopes of finding her. When this turned up nothing, he drove out a bit further, still scouring the crowds of people on both sides of the street, still not seeing his Eddie.

Finally he parked the car in the same lot as before and started retracing their day. He spotted several people bustling about the streets and stopped a few of them, though no one had seen Eddie. Finally a woman dressed in a dark purple dress with crazy black hair approached him. "You look lost."

"Well, _I'm_ not lost," he said, "but my girlfriend is. Have you seen a young woman with blonde hair just past her shoulders, wearing a pink shirt and jeans come by here within the last couple of hours?"

"See her no, but I feel her. She's hurt or..." the woman began.

"Hurt? Like physically hurt?" asked Jamie. He didn't believe in witchcraft in any shape, form or fashion, but when someone said they felt Eddie was hurt, it scared him.

"I don't think so...She is in pain," the woman said. "Do you have a photograph?"

Again, he didn't believe in this kind of stuff, but he dug his wallet out and pulled out a picture of them by their patrol care that he always carried, handing it to the strange woman.

"Not physically hurt but in pain nonetheless," the woman sighed.

Jamie nodded. "Do you have any idea where she is?"

"You already know" she replied and handed him the photograph. "She's already told you where she'd go." With those words, the woman walked away.

Jamie stood baffled for a moment before it dawned on him where Eddie had gone. He ran back to the car and followed the signs to a place she'd mentioned earlier in their vacation that she'd like to visit before the week was over.

 **A/N: So Eddie is losing it a little bit, but Jamie can bring her back. And practical Jamie had a run in with a real Salem witch. Tomorrow will wrap up the Salem leg of their journey and coming on Friday, they are off to Boston! Looking forward to your feedback.**


	16. Salem or Bust - D

Finally after another half hour of driving Jamie spotted Eddie. He parked the car in the nearest lot and started walking up the hill towards the old cemetery. He saw her there sitting on the lone bench in the center, the red setting sun glinting off her hair. She was sitting in a tiny ball, knees pulled up to her chest shivering against the Massachusetts air. Even cold and deeply saddened, she was still the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen. Carefully he approached.

"Eddie?" he said apprehensively.

She raised her head and sniffled when she saw him. "What do you want?"

"To talk to you," he said gently. "Are you cold?"

She shrugged and only hugged herself tighter.

Knowing she was freezing, he removed his jacket and draped it over her back and shoulders. He'd dressed in warmer clothes than she had that morning, so he wasn't uncomfortable in the chilly evening air. He took a seat beside her, not touching her, though. He knew he needed to let her come to him in her own time, at least as far as this evening was concerned.

"I really don't know why you're here, I don't have anything to say to you," Eddie said pulling his jacket around her.

"I'm here because I was worried about you" he said. "You've been gone a long time, and I didn't know where you were."

"Like you even care," she whispered, laying her head back on her knees.

"Of course I care, Eddie" he said softly, taking a chance and reaching out to touch her back. "I'm sorry you're so angry with me, but-"

She slid away from him. "I have every right to be angry with you!" she spat.

"I know you do," Jamie sighed. "But Eddie, I'm not embarrassed by you or ashamed…I think I'm a little thrown too, if we're having a baby, it's a huge change for us both. I worry enough about you on the job, not there will be two of you that I can't protect if anyone finds out! I'm not over that fear year!"

"Jamie, I just don't...I'm a healthy, young woman. What are you scared of? Is it really me not being looked after or is it something else?" she asked.

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair as a breeze blew over the couple. "I'm not ready for pregnancy yet Eddie. I know that sounds stupid, because if there's a baby, we are both responsible for it."

"Well at least we've gotten that far," Eddie sighed. "I just..." She felt her emotion begin to overwhelm her. "I love you very much, Jamie. So much that I don't want you to do something you don't want to do. I have no problem raising a child alone. I will if it comes to that, but you said you'd always be there, always support me and...I just feel so...alone." With that word she fell apart again.

Jamie felt two inches tall. He moved close to her and took her in his embrace as she cried. "You're right, baby. I did say that, and I'm not doing a very good job of keeping my word, am I?"

Stiff in his embrace she shook her head. "It hurts," she cried. "It hurts so much."

He held her even closer. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, Eddie; I'd never do that on purpose."

She didn't say anything for a long while, just stayed close until she stopped crying. "I know you wouldn't. I'm sorry I got so crazy today. It was just too much. It just got to be too much, you know?"

He nodded. "I know, but when I saw you sitting out here, you looked just beautiful."

"With my face all blotchy and my eyes all red?" she asked. "Did I really worry you?"

"Of course," he answered, cupping her tear stained face with his hand.

"Why?" she asked. "I can take care of myself. In spite of that little demonstration earlier. God, I was so embarrassed."

"You mean at the museum?" he asked, tucking a flyaway strand of hair behind her ear as he kept his arm around her.

She nodded. "I made such a scene and it had nothing to do with what we saw in there. It was creepy..." She paused and sat up straight.

"What?" he asked. "You okay?"

"Jamie we're in a graveyard," Eddie said.

He looked around. "Yeah, we are. You just now realized that, sweetie?"

Eddie nodded. "I didn't really realize where I...How did you find me? I'm miles from the Inn."

"Oh, I ran into some spooky lady on the street in town," he said. "I think she thought she was psychic or something, she asked me for your picture, and said you were where you'd told me you wanted to go. I think she's nuts, but I thought for a second and knew you were here."

"Maybe _you're_ psychic!" Eddie smiled. "I want to walk around here a little while we're up here. Is that okay?"

"Sure," he said, rising from the bench and offering her a hand.

They held hands and roamed the rows of graves pausing to read the names on the tombstones and the dates. "So many of them are young children, Jamie," Eddie sighed. "And some of these families must have had ten, twelve kids."

"Mm-hmm," he said. "Doesn't seem fair, does it?"

"Most of them didn't live to be ten years old," Eddie sighed.

He squeezed her hand. "Eddie, you know what I think might help. Instead of waiting, let's get a test. We can take a test and know as sure as possible."

"Good idea, I just…" She paused mid-sentence when her stomach growled.

He smiled. "Want to go have some dinner?"

She nodded. "We lost our reservation."

"So we'll go someplace else" he said, his hand still entwined with hers. "What sounds good?"

Eddie shrugged. "That Japanese place by the mall?"

"Sounds good to me" he replied. "We're parked over there a little ways."

"Let's walk to it" Eddie requested. "If you're up to it. I hope you weren't running around too much."

"I'm fine" he said. "We can walk there, no problem."

Eddie slipped her arm around Jamie's waist and together they walked to the restaurant. They were seated with two other young couples around the large grill and soon were being entertained by their chef as he prepared their meals. When they were finished, Jamie bought his girl an ice cream and the pair strolled back to the car. "I want to go to the pier tomorrow before we leave for Boston."

"Sure, baby," he said.

"Do you want to do anything special tonight?" she asked licking the chocolate that dripped down her cone.

"Not particularly" he replied as he climbed into the driver's seat. "You have any ideas?"

Eddie shrugged, her mind still unfocused.

"We need to swing by a drugstore. You can test in the morning. It'd probably do you some good."

"I know," Eddie sighed. "I do, I'm just nervous and I'm so sorry for how I acted."

He leaned down and kissed her sweetly on the lips. "I'm sorry for upsetting you. Let's forget about the whole thing and just enjoy the evening."

Jamie picked up two home pregnancy tests, they turned their steps back to the car. When they got into the hotel room, Eddie snuggled up to Jamie. He knew she still felt very upset about what happened earlier.

"Everything is okay, Eddie," Jamie whispered. "I'm going to shower and we'll lie down and snuggle or cuddle anything you need or want." Jamie kissed her hair. "You rest, put your feet up. I'll be right out."

Eddie changed into her lingerie, one of Jamie's tee shirts and a pair of panties. She laid her head on the pillows and thought about having a baby with Jamie. It would sure change things but it wouldn't be so bad.

Jamie smiled at the sight of Eddie in his old shirt. She looked cute in his clothing. As Jamie approached the bed, looking handsome in his boxers with a freshly showered flush to his skin, Eddie reached for him and pulled him down for a kiss. His lips were so soft, always so soft, and while soft was not a word she usually equated with Jamie she loved the feel. The softness made them gentle, and since she'd been with Jamie that first time, she knew that gentle and sensuous was the only way for her, for them. "Touch me."

He reached his hand up and gently touched her chest. "Like this?" he asked quietly.

She nodded. "I love how you touch me," Eddie replied. "It feels like love."

"It _is_ love," he whispered, continuing to move his hands tenderly about her upper body. Jamie didn't want to go any farther that night, and Eddie was content to being held and snuggled in close. "I thought about things, Eddie. If we're having a baby, it's a sign that it's time to be open with our families and friends, and I am not ashamed of that. I am excited about that."

"Me too. I'm nervous but I'm excited at the same time. It'll be okay," Eddie assured him covering his hand with his. "Let's just go to sleep. I just want to sleep."

"Okay," he replied lovingly, pulling the covers up higher over them both. "I love you."

"I love you," Eddie replied closing her eyes and nestling into his body. Sleep this time, however, only came to him.

Eddie once again got their breakfast and packed their things for check out. They were headed back to Boston that day to walk the three mile Freedom trail. They were set to leave after spending the morning at the Wharf.

While Jamie slept, Eddie took the test from his jacket pocket and followed the directions. She sat and waited the full three minutes before looking down. Two lines appeared on the little stick. Two lines meant she was pregnant. Being quiet, so not to wake Jamie, she took the second test…again she waited the full three minutes. This time only one line appeared. Eddie cried out in frustration.

Jamie heard her cry and rolled out of bed. He knocked then pushed the door open. "Hey, Eddie. You okay love?"

Eddie opened the door, "Well the test on my right says you're a Daddy, Reagan, but the test on my left says I'm just nutjob that's late for her period."

Jamie sighed, "You want me to run down and get another test?" Jamie thought Eddie was pregnant, it would explain her moods, the tears, the lack of sex drive, and the late cycle.

"No," Eddie replied. "No, this is our trip and I am putting this out of my mind. Whatever happens will happen. Let's eat and get to the wharf, there's a lot to be done."

They walked through the wharf holding hands looking at the seafaring artifacts and such on display. On they way back to the museum that Eddie insisted on returning to, Jamie requested they side track to the House of Seven Gables. The gardens were lovely there and they asked a young man to take their picture in the midst of them.

Once they finished there, they returned to the museum where they once again sat through the reenactment before being led down into the dungeon. This time, Eddie made it through. She held onto Jamie's hand and made mention of the atrocities suffered inside those walls, but she came out the other side on her own two feet. "See, I told you I'd make it" she smiled, as they purchased a few postcard books as souvenirs.

"Yes, you did," he said with a smile. "And you were right. You ready to head out for Boston?"

"Let's go" Eddie replied. "You up for the three mile hike?"

"You bet" he said. "Got my good shoes on, I'm raring to go."

 **A/N: No worries, the pregnancy question will be resolved soon. Eddie and Jamie are getting used to the idea of having a child. Next stop, Boston and some Cheers!**


	17. Cheers to Boston

Eddie and Jamie got into their rental and turned on the radio as they drove the hour down to Boston. "We have to find Boston Common," Eddie directed assuming Jamie wound be able to navigate Bostin in his sleep.

"Eddie, do you have any idea how horrible it is to drive around Boston?" he asked. "Even with a map and some direction sense, it's a nightmare."

"You were the one who requested we stop here, remember?" Eddie reminded him. "I suggested we bypass it and you said, 'But honey, we can't _not_ go see the USS Constitution.' But I said, 'Navigating that city is a nightmare.' And you said, 'You won't have to navigate it.' Is any of this ringing a bell?"

He smiled and shook his head. "Point taken. We can find the Common if you'd like to."

"If you want to go on the trail the brochure says we _have_ to find the Common to get our passes," Eddie replied.

"Okay, I guess we're finding the Common!"

Two hours later, Jamie finally found a parking lot in the vicinity of the Boston Common.

"Can you believe how much they charge just to park here?" he asked as they exited their vehicle. "Forty bucks to park ten blocks away!"

"And it's hotter than the blazes out here," Eddie sighed, removing her over shirt and tying it about her waist.

They made their way to the Common and located the ticket booth. Together, they approached the window and Jamie asked the girl inside for two tickets to the trail. Once the purchase was complete, they walked away and Jamie complained that the ticket for the attraction was less than what it cost to park their car. Eddie simply laughed and let him gripe.

They strolled the Freedom Trail, observing the statues erected in honor of the founders of the country they both defended. When they reached the home of Paul Revere, Eddie marveled at the height of the doorway. It was less than 6' high, but as it was on a down step it looked deceiving. As Jamie stepped through, he smacked his forehead on the doorframe.

"Oh, for the love of..." muttered Jamie, hand on his head.

"Are you all right?" Eddie asked moving into worried wife mode. "Step back and sit down on the bench. Let me see."

He did as she asked, mumbling to himself all the way. "They should put a warning sign on that thing!"

Eddie started to laugh just then as she saw the sign above the door that read, "Watch you head."

"What's so funny?" he asked, still seeing stars.

Eddie couldn't answer; she was laughing so hard tears ran down her cheeks.

Soon, he realized what it was that had her in stitches. "Oh, ha ha, very funny. They should make it low enough for people to see _before_ they whack the living snot out of themselves on that stupid doorframe!"

Eddie bit her lip at his tone, realizing her mirth was upsetting him. "I'm sorry," she smiled. "You just look so cute mumbling all the way over here about the sign that was already there. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he said, still clearly disgruntled. "I'm gonna have a bump."

"Do you want to skip this one and get some ice?" Eddie asked, leaning forward to kiss his forehead. "Poor baby."

"No, I'll be okay, I thinkm" he said, slowly rising from the bench. "I'll be sure to duck from now on."

"Stand up straight a minute" Eddie instructed.

He did as she asked. "Okay?"

"Do you feel dizzy?" she asked. Then stepped back and held up two fingers, "How many?"

"Two" he replied. "And no, I'm not dizzy."

"Good, you'll live" Eddie pronounced. "Ready to go see what life as a silversmith was like?"

He nodded. "Let's get back to having fun."

They toured the home and Jamie marveled at how it was possible to raise a family with so little. Eddie smiled at they continued on their way until they reached her, "Old Ironsides." The line was at least an hour long.

"Oh, look at the line," he said. "No problem though; we're not in any hurry, and we've got to see this."

"You're lucky I love you, lamb chop," Eddie smiled. "I want to get some water bottles. Hold our space."

"Okay," he said. Eddie returned a few moments later with two bottles of water, and handed him one. "Thanks babe."

"So, uh, what do you want to do about the baby question?" Jamie asked. "I mean, drinking beers and stuff when you might be pregnant…"

"Jamie, I've been thinking about it and I think I am. It makes sense, I have never been late before, I'm emotional as hell, and when did you know me to be too tired to make love to my handsome boyfriend. What do you think about it?"

Jamie slid his arms around Eddie's waist, "I think, when the baby is a little older, we need to bring her back here to show her this magnificent ship."

"She, huh?" Eddie laughed. "Daddy's girl?"

"But of course," Jamie laughed and snuggled her.

The line moved and Jamie and Eddie continued to talk about things at home. When they were nearing the end of the line Eddie asked, "How's the head?"

"Hurts a little" he said, "but I'll live."

"I'm glad...and I'm glad you're feeling better about the idea of a baby. I meant what I said, I had no problem raising the baby alone. I'm just glad I don't have to."

They were admitted forty five minutes after joining the line. Jamie enjoyed seeing the older guns and cannons on board. They saw the Captain's quarters; they were smaller than Eddie's closet in her apartment. "Imagine living in there?"

Jamie nodded, "I guess these old sea types didn't need too much in the way of worldly goods. It's getting hot in here and you should drink some water. You about ready?"

"Let's go," she said.

Eddie followed Jamie up the ladder, "Be careful stepping off the gangplank," Jamie advised holding her hand. reminded him.

"If you are going to worry…"

Once they had climbed topside and he successfully stepped off the plank he stood up to his full height. "Feels good to stand upright again huh? You'd never have survived 200 years ago."

"Must be why I was born when I was" he joked.

"And all this time I thought you were born just to love me," Eddie smiled.

"Well, I was," he said in a cute, sexy voice. "But it's nice to also be able to stand up straight when I walk through our doorways."

"Let's go. We have ten more stops to make before dinner, and this girl is getting hungry."

"So is this lamb chop," he said, their breakfast having long since worn off.

Eddie took his hand in hers. "Lead the way."

They turned their steps towards the original Cheers restaurant, made famous by the hit comedy series. The place was crowded and there was a 30 minute wait for a table for two inside. "Do you want to wait?" Eddie asked. She was bouncing with excitement over the idea of eating here, but if he didn't want to stand up in the sun that long they could go to one of the replicas.

"Sure," he said. "You've looked forward to this for weeks; we can wait."

Eddie smiled and reached up to give him a kiss on the lips. "Thank you."

From behind them they heard a voice. "Remember when we were like that Joe?"

"Sure do," the older man replied as Eddie turned to smile at them.

"Seems to me like you still are," she said, seeing the couple in their sixties at least holding hands.

"Joe Fletcher," the man introduced himself. "This is Mary."

"Eddie Janko," she smiled. "This is my boyfriend, Jamie."

Jamie extended a hand to the older gentleman. "Where are you folks from?" he asked.

"Originally we're from South Carolina," Mary replied. "We live in Concord now with our daughter. She just had a baby."

"Are you locals?" Joe asked.

"No," answered Jamie. "Just vacationing, I wanted to show Eddie around Mass, I went to Harvard and I loved it here.."

"Ah...that's so nice. How long have you been together?" Mary asked.

"Seven months," said Jamie with a smile. "How about you folks?"

"Forty one years" Joe answered. "We've got six children.

Joe showed off pictures of their children and grandchildren. Instinctively, Eddie's hand went to her belly.

"Feeling that urge already," Joe smiled.

"Yeah, she is," answered Jamie, cuddling Eddie closer. The idea of a baby was growing on him.

They couples chatted idly for a few more moments, the conversation passing the time quickly until "Cheers would like to welcome, Reagan party of two."

"That's us," said Jamie, extending his hand to the couple one last time. "Pleasure talking with you."

They shook hands and were led to their table by a smiling hostess. After they gave their drink orders, Eddie a tonic water and Jamie a Sam Adams, she read the menu in silence.

He closed his menu and put it on the table. "You're upset, aren't you?" he asked Eddie.

"What gave you that idea?" Eddie asked. "I'm reading the menu."

"I know you, baby," he said. "You're not quiet just because you're reading the menu. Can we talk about it later on?"

"There's not much we have to talk about," Eddie sighed. "You just jumped in with "She is…" like you don't want anything to do with the baby…"

"I didn't say that! I don't want you being upset about that for the rest of our trip," he said gently. "If you will be, I'd like to talk about it. If not, we'll table it until we get home."

"Jamie, I'm not upset" Eddie sighed. "I'm just a little nervous, really, it's okay. I'm hot too…it's really hot."

"We're in this together," Jamie soothed. "I promise, I'm on board and we are going to do this as partners. I love you."

"I love you too," Eddie replied. "And I know you're telling the truth. I just feel so off. I'm soryr."

The tension was broken for a while when the waitress appeared to take their orders. Once they finished their meal they walked back to the car and drove to the hotel they'd reserved in Lexington. It was a nice place, with large spacious rooms and a nice king size bed. Once Jamie and Eddie arrived inside and unpacked just for the one night, they both dropped on the bed, a bit hot, a bit sore, and a lot tired.

"Oh, what a day," said Jamie.

"You said that right," Eddie sighed. "Boston has to be one of the most humid cities in the country."

"I dare say it is," he sighed, kicking his shoes off and curling up with a pillow.

"What do you want to do tonight?" Eddie asked. "After you shower because you don't smell too pleasant there, lamb chop."

He laughed. "You can say it, I stink."

"Yes you do, and I'm sure I do too," Eddie sighed. "I haven't felt this gross since we got hosed down with that sludge at that meat plant chasing that purse snatcher. If I didn't know I was pregnant before, I know I am now."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"When you're pregnant any temperature feels ten degrees hotter," Eddie sighed. "Some of those 100 degree days, but at least I won't be carrying in the hot months," she sighed. "Go shower, unless you want me to first."

"You can go ahead," he said, knowing she was more uncomfortable than he was.

"Thanks, honey," Eddie smiled and headed off to take her shower. Twenty minutes later she came out to the bathroom dressed in one of Jamie's old tee shirts. She smiled when she gazed upon the bed and found Jamie had fallen asleep in the very place he'd been laying when she went to take her shower. She went over to the bed and slid in next to him. "Jamie, wake up," she said gently.

"Huh?" he asked, awakening with a little start.

"Honey, wake up and go take your shower" Eddie told him, poking him a bit.

"Can I just wait till morning?" he whined. "I'm comfy."

"If you're a good lamb chop and go take a shower" Eddie cooed "I'll give you a massage."

"Okay," he mumbled, moving slowly from the bed. "I won't be long."

True to his word, Jamie took only 8 minutes in the shower. He emerged from the steamy bathroom dressed in his boxers and sleep shorts. He went straight over to the bed and climbed in, totally exhausted from the day.

"You still interested in that massage?" she asked. "It comes with a catch though."

"I don't think I have the strength for any catches tonight, babe," he said. "But tell me what it is."

"Once I finish you, I may need one of those foot massages you are so good at," she smiled. "All that walking."

"Oh, I can probably handle that," he sighed, his eyes already falling shut.

Eddie knew there was probably no way he'd do it, he'd be asleep before she even finished his back, but the thought was still nice. "Anywhere special?"

"Usual," he muttered, fighting to stay awake.

Eddie sighed and found to spot that gave him trouble and started to rub the tissues there, "Honey?"

"Hmm?" he answered, nearly asleep.

"I think I owe you an apology" Eddie sighed, gently manipulating the soft skin on his broad back.

"Why?" he asked weakly.

"Because I've been trying to influence you with my moodiness and that's just not fair" Eddie replied. "We're in this together and I have to at least respect your opinion enough not to try to influence you. I'm so sorry, sweetie."

"S'okay" he replied. "Love you anyway."

"So I have been doing that, haven't I?" Eddie asked.

"Mm-hmm" he said.

"I didn't want to, it's just...this really isn't making it into your head is it?" Eddie asked, seeing how exhausted he was. "You're really tired aren't you?"

His reply was silent this time, for he had drifted off to sleep.

Eddie continued for a moment longer to rub his back before leaning over and kissing his shoulder, "I love you, Jamie. Sweet dreams."

 **A/N: Well, Eddie knows her own body. She's happy but is Jamie comfortable with it? Next week, join our love birds in Plymouth and on a trip to Jamie's old stomping ground…there will be surprises for our couple there, but are they the good kind?**

 **Don't forget to check out A Healing Peace…updating tomorrow, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and concluding on Sunday, 4/10. My next installment in the Tough universe, will be And Baby Makes…I hope to see everyone following Steven and Lila as they become parents and who can resist Jamko as grandparents…**


	18. Plymouth Progress - A

Sleep evaded Eddie again that night, so she got up early and took her morning shower, then climbed back in bed next to Jamie and watched him sleep. He shifted and snuggled in close to her. When he awoke Eddie was still beside him, his head pillowed by her breast as she stroked the tiny hairs on the back of his neck with her hand.

"Morning, beautiful," he greeted in his husky post sleep voice.

"Morning yourself," Eddie smiled. "Are you feeling better?"

"Much," Jamie replied.

"You fell asleep in the middle of your massage. You never do that."

"I was tired" Jamie said, moving her bangs off her forehead. "We did a lot yesterday, plus the heat and humidity - I'm in pretty good shape, but that wore me totally out."

"Up to some more today?" she asked. "Today we drive to Plymouth."

"Can't wait," he said with a grin. "Let's get moving, I wanna get some breakfast before it's all picked over."

"I'll go," Eddie offered. "I already took a shower."

"You showered and then got back in bed?" he asked.

"Mmhmm," Eddie replied. "I felt like snuggling you. Do you remember anything I said to you last night?" Eddie asked as she slipped out of bed.

He thought for a moment. "No, I sure don't."

"We'll talk about it after breakfast," Eddie smiled. "Bagel?"

"Sounds good," he said, rising from the bed.

Eddie smiled and went to get their food. She was back just as Jamie came out of the shower. "You look so much better."

"Feels better," he said, rubbing a towel through his hair.

"Bagel with low fat cream cheese" Eddie announced. "And yes before you ask me, there's coffee."

He laughed. "Not gonna let me live that down, huh?"

"I might if you'll still forgive me," Eddie sighed, feeling like she needed to repeat her apology since he did not recall it.

"For what?" he asked, opening the cream cheese.

"For my moodiness" Eddie replied. "And for trying to influence your decision about the baby. I'm sorry."

He looked up at her. "It's okay. I know we're not together on this, and that's hard, but we'll get through it."

Eddie smiled, "I know we will. Now eat up, I have another full day planned."

Eddie and Jamie packed up their belongings and began the two hour drive to Plymouth. They arrived at their hotel, the John Carver Inn and checked in their luggage. The room was large, decorated in colonial style and possessed all the amenities a fine hotel would. Eddie smiled. She liked the bedspread, a hunter green floral. "Honey, I love this spread."

"It's pretty" he agreed. "The whole room is pretty."

"Thanks" she smiled. "You know I was thinking..."

"About what?" he asked, wrapping his arms around his bride.

"Redecorating our room, making it more...I don't know, more Jamie and Eddie, instead of Jamie or Eddie. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, it does," he smiled. "We'll think about it. We still need to figure out whose place we're moving into.

"Okay" she smiled. "What do you want to do first? The traditional Plymouth, Massachusetts stuff, Plymouth rock, the Mayflower?" She said those at the regular tone, the dropped to a softer, more romantic one. "A romantic dinner and dancing sunset cruise."

"I've gotta say," Jamie smiled "Those last two sound positively irresistible." He pulled her close for a soft, sweet kiss.

"Then let's get going. I have to get beautiful before we sail. It leaves at 5:30," Eddie replied.

"You're way ahead of schedule" he said softly, his way of telling her she was already beautiful.

"Oh, Jamie," she sighed. "We have full day ahead of us. Put on those comfortable shoes, not the ones you wore yesterday. I know they hurt your feet."

"Not too much," Jamie protested "But my other ones are probably a better choice for tonight."

"We'll have time to change anyway," Eddie smiled. "Let's get rolling."

"Show the way, my dear" he said.

Eddie took his hand and they strolled down a few blocks until they saw the crowd of people around a large stone structure. "That must be it," Eddie smiled.

"Probably," he said.

"You don't seem too excited," she sighed.

"I am," he assured her. "I'm just kind of dragging today; guess maybe I didn't sleep too well last night. I'm excited, sweetie, I promise."

"You slept like a log, honey," Eddie said with concern, carelessly revealing her own secret and praying he wouldn't catch on.

"You think so?" he asked. "Hmm...Well, whatever it is, it'll pass. We'll have a nice, romantic dinner and I'm sure the cruise is gonna be amazing."

"Do you want to go back the room and lie down? I can do this on my own," she offered. She didn't want him worn out.

"No way," he said adamantly. "I think I just need a little caffeine and I'll perk right up. I wouldn't miss doing this for anything." He gave her a light peck on the cheek.

"Let's get a frappe before we go look at the rock," Eddie smiled, and steered him towards a coffee stand.

Ten minutes later Jamie had coffee in his system and he and Eddie stepped closer to the enclosure that held America's most famous rock.

It was old, weather worn, but still for those with an ounce of patriotism, it stirred emotions. "Everything we stand for," Eddie sighed. "Started right here."

"Yeah, it did," he said. "Seems insignificant until you really look at it like that."

Eddie turned to Jamie and looked up at him. She set her face in a tiny pout and held his gaze.

"Oh, what's that for? Keep it up and a bird's gonna come land on that lip" he kidded.

"Give me what I want then," Eddie said and batted her eyes flirtatiously.

He leaned down and gave her a kiss, this one a little more sensual that the others. "There," he smiled. "Feel better?"

Eddie's face brightened with a broad smile. "Much. Onward?" she asked and pointed to the replica ship in the harbor.

"Lead on," he said, reaching out for her hand.

Eddie took the hand and together they purchased their tickets. The Mayflower 2 was made exactly to scale of the original Mayflower and resembled all ships of the period, wooden with low head clearance. "Watch your head, baby," she warned as they stepped below the topside deck and descended into the passenger hold.

"I will," he said, his voice indicating his lingering frustration over what'd happened at the home of Paul Revere.

"Maybe that's why you were so tired, the heat and that bump," she sighed, fussing over him so much that she didn't pay attention to one very low beam at the bottom of the steps.

"Eddie!" he exclaimed.

"Oh," she moved her hand to her head. "Ow!"

"You okay, sweetie?" he asked, immediately putting his hand over hers upon her bump.

"I think so," Eddie sighed. "I'm seeing stars. Let me just get off the stairs."

"Come on over here with me," he said, leading her slowly by the hand off of the staircase.

Eddie nodded, the pain from that smack making her shoulders ache. "I am so sorry that I laughed yesterday," she apologized.

"'S okay," he said. "You need to sit down or you wanna continue?"

"Just let me clear my head a minute," she sighed, leaning against him. "Don't tell me that had a watch your head sign."

He went and looked. "Nope, no sign."

"Okay," Eddie sighed. "If I can get a hug and kiss, I think I'll live."

Glad to oblige her, he gave her exactly what she asked for. "Shall we, my love?"

"Yes, let's," Eddie replied and started to roam around the hold. "The first Pilgrim baby born in the United States was born here, on a cot just like this one" the guide said. The cot was straw, dirty straw, and shoved in a corner of the ship.

"Can you imagine giving birth on _that_?" he whispered to Eddie.

Eddie shook her head, "If I had to I could I suppose. It's not much different now than then."

"How do you figure that?" he asked quietly.

"Pain is pain, I'll choose the natural way so it's the same on a couch, in a hospital, or on a straw cot," Eddie replied. "I'm considering a birthing center, I told you that if we ever had a baby I wanted it natural."

Jamie nodded. "Yeah, and I told you I think it's awfully risky."

"They have a doctor," Eddie replied. "Seriously, there's nothing wrong with me that makes birthing in a center risky." This as the strolled along to the exit stairs.

"We'll look into it," he said, sensing it was something she was truly interested in, though he still had concerns.

They emerged from the ship and turned their steps towards the beach area just beyond it, "What's the problem with it, Jamie?" Eddie pressed.

He sighed. "I don't really know much about it," he began. "But I like the idea of you being in a hospital, where if anything goes really wrong really quickly, they can wheel you into the OR and get the baby out in 60 seconds. I'm willing to look at it closer, though."

"They can do that at a center, too" Eddie replied. "But we will investigate it before we decide. I promise. Now, it's 3:40; I have some work to do to get beautiful for tonight. Do you want to go for a swim or hit the gym at the hotel while I do that?"

"Yeah, I think I'll go swim awhile," he said.

"I need you to promise two things first," she said as they turned off the main street and began to walk to the hotel.

"Name them," he said softly.

"One you won't come back to the room until 4:55 and two, don't overdo it. I don't want you worn out tonight," Eddie told him.

"Understood on both counts," he smiled.

"You still owe me a massage," she laughed. "Okay, I'm hitting the shower. You hit the pool. 4:55, remember."

"Not a minute sooner," he promised.

Eddie showered and got out the dress she'd brought for the dinner cruise. It was a black dress that came to the mid-thigh. It had a V-neck that revealed her the slender slope of her shoulders and the valley between her breasts. It was a plain dress, but possessed a simple elegance that enchanted Eddie and she hoped Jamie as well.

With her dress on and he hair swept up in a twist, she left Jamie a note and departed the hotel at 4:50.

When Jamie returned from his swim at 4:56, he found their room empty.

"Eddie?" he called, looking around for a moment before spying the note. He opened and read it, his smile growing a little wider with each word. _"Jamie, meet me at the dock at 5:25. Your clothes are on the bed. Love, Eddie."_

Jamie turned to see his best suit laid out on the bed. Hurriedly he showered and put it on making sure he was looking his best before he went down to the docks.

He saw Eddie standing there when he approached, hair upswept in her black mini dress. Her back was to him as she gazed out over the water as it lapped at the rock shoals.

"You look amazing," was all he could think of to say.

Eddie turned and smiled, "Well, I am flattered, Sir," she replied. "You're not so bad yourself."

"Oh, this old thing?" he said, nodding down to his suit. "My girlfriend laid it out for me, nothing special." He couldn't keep a straight face as he said it.

"You have a girlfriend and you're flattering me?" she teased. "Questionable behavior for a gentleman."

"Ah, yeah, I suppose so," he said, stepping towards her. "Would you think me forward if I asked you to join me for dinner?"

"Certainly I would," Eddie replied, continuing their flirtatious game. "Is your girlfriend not with you this evening?"

"No," he said, placing a hand softly against her face. "Seems an angel has taken her place."

Eddie leaned into his touch. "Do you really think so?" she asked.

"I know so," he whispered, moving in for a chaste kiss on the lips.

"Jamie, I know I haven't..." she began against his lips once their kiss broke. In the distance the boarding whistle sounded.

"Ready to go?" he asked lovingly, reaching down to take her hand.

Eddie nodded and let him cradle her hand in his. "Jamie, did you hear me before?"

He shook his head. "Sorry, I didn't."

"I said that I was sorry for...you know, not being..." She sighed and leaned against his arm.

"Is this about...bedroom things?" he asked, squeezing her hand a little.

She nodded. "Yes," Eddie replied. "I want...I want to try tonight, if that's okay. I can't promise but...I want to be with you."

Jamie stopped in his tracks, and subsequently Eddie with him. "Look at me, sweetie," he asked gently.

"We'll be late," Eddie replied but looked up at his intense gaze.

"No, we're fine" he said. "Baby, you don't ever have to ask if it's okay for you to be with me. I know this'll come out sounding completely 'male', but... Being with you means so much to me; it's such a special part of what we have together. I'll never, ever grow tired of it, and as long as you'll have me, I'll be there."

Eddie smiled and felt her eyes tear up. "I know. But there's something that I want to talk about, about us, but later. Now is for romance, and that boat is about to leave."

Taking hold of her hand a little tighter, he stepped up the pace and they made it to the boat with mere seconds to spare.

They were seated at a table along the window so they could watch the beautiful Plymouth shoreline disappear as they headed out towards Cape Cod. It was a two and a half hour ride; they'd dock just as the sunset. Eddie ordered a bottle of non-alcoholic champagne and they ordered a dinner for two which included an appetizer of shrimp cocktail, a salad, and the choice of salmon, lobster, or filet mignon. Eddie chose the steak, Jamie chose the salmon. "Do you like it?" she asked as she dipped a shrimp in the cocktail sauce.

"Love it," he said as he took a bite. "Haven't had this in ages."

"I meant the cruise itself," Eddie clarified. "But these are nice shrimp.

"They are," he agreed. "The cruise, though, is even better."

"Do you feel up to a bit of dancing later?" Eddie asked.

"I do," he replied with a smile. "My back is pretty much healed, just a few twinges here and there." Eddie knew it was more than twinges but she let it go.

"How was the swim?" Eddie asked him, reaching down to pick up a shrimp r and put it on her fork. Slowly she moved the fork to his mouth.

"It was nice" he said, taking the oyster off her fork. "Swimming seems to help my back, most of the time."

"I knew it," she sighed.

"You knew that my back was bothering me?" he asked. "It was some, but nothing too bad. Don't worry, baby, this trip won't end with me in horrible shape by the time we get back, I promise you."

"You told me it was fine," Eddie sighed. "Obviously it isn't."

"It's just achy from all the walking," he said gently. "Please, don't worry to the point that it ruins our night. Tonight is supposed to be special."

"It'll be special," Eddie replied. "But I reserve the right to revisit this topic in the morning."

"That's fine," he said, reaching for another shrimp. "I can't wait till we dock."

"Why you think we're going to make love or something?" she asked, offering him the last shrimp.

"Eddie!" he replied. "I'm shocked at your implication that we'd do such a thing in the out-of-doors."

"Then why else can't you wait to dock?" Eddie asked.

"Because I've never been to Cape Cod," he said, taking a sip of his drink. "All the time I've lived up here, never made it out there."

Eddie looked sad and studied her plate.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yes, honey, this boat is a round trip. It doesn't dock at the Cape," Eddie said softly.

He looked confused. "Oh, okay. Well then, I can't wait to _see_ the Cape - we will at least _see_ the Cape, won't we?"

"Not quite" Eddie frowned. "It's too far for this cruise."

He sighed, then smiled and took both her hands in his. "That's okay; I'd rather look at you anyway."

"I do have some good news," Eddie said.

"What's that?" he asked.

"Day after tomorrow, we spent the night at a romantic restored Bed and Breakfast in fabulous Cape Cod," Eddie announced.

"Really?" he asked, his eyes lighting up.

"Really," she replied. "That's our last stop on this trip before Harvard."

"Sounds wonderful," he said, still smiling at her. "A wonderful way to end a wonderful trip."

Eddie nodded, "Good."

 _"Ladies and gentleman, the Pilgrim Belle would like to present the vocal styling of Mr. Andy Montery and the Pilgrim Belle band."_

The band began the set with a classic song with a nice beat to get the guests hearts going, but soon settled down into softer romantic pieces given the mood of the evening. Halfway through the salad course Eddie let out a soft sound. "Oh."

"What?" he asked as he stabbed at his salad with his fork.

Eddie shook her head. "Oh, nothing. I have to use the ladies room."

Immediately concerned, Jamie started to stand up. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, yeah" Eddie assured him. "I'm fine. I just need to use the bathroom."

"Okay..." he said, hoping she was telling him the truth.

Of course, Eddie _wasn't_ telling the whole truth. She didn't really have to use the bathroom, but that was the only way she could discreetly slip a note to the band singer without Jamie noticing.

"Feel better?" he asked upon her return.

"Yes, a bit too much cider" Eddie replied.

"Yeah," Jamie laughed. "You polished off over half that bottle, my dear" he said.

"Tastes good" she replied just as the band singer announced. "Our next dance is a special request. And we only have one rule about requests, if you ask for a song; you have to dance to it. So would Jamie and Eddie please indulge us as we entertain you with, _Can you Feel the Love Tonight_?"

Jamie looked at Eddie with eyes wide as saucers, then he began to smile. "Bathroom, my foot."

"I went in there to write the note," Eddie replied.

Jamie shook his head and rose from his chair. "May I have this dance, my love?"

Eddie nodded. "That was my plan." She smiled and let him lead her onto the dance floor. He took her into his arms and they swayed to the song that played at the first time they danced together at a secluded Italian Bistro in North Jersey. Eddie reached up and caressed his cheek.

Jamie leaned down and captured her lips in a beautiful kiss.

As the song began to wind down, Eddie deepened their kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Once the song was over, Jamie led Eddie back to their seats. Their meals came and they enjoyed the dinner, though Eddie grew quieter, her thoughts retreating into herself.

"Eddie, everything's okay," Jamie assured her. "Stop worrying about things that make no difference. I can read you like a book."

"You can huh?" Eddie asked. "Then what am I worrying about?"

"Me," Jamie replied. "And my family finding out about us and the baby. Eddie…you and our baby are my family, okay. Stop making yourself upset. We'll see the doctor in New York, we'll see my father alone, and we'll go from there. Relax."

With Jamie's assurance, Eddie relaxed and enjoyed the rest of the evening until the boat docked back at the slip. Eddie held onto Jamie extra tight when they stepped off the gang plank, making him laugh at her slightly. In the cool breeze, she snuggled up to him. "What do you want to do now?" she asked, looking out on the water, mesmerized by the beauty of the setting sun reflecting off the water.

"Let's take a walk," he suggested.

Eddie smiled. "Out on the shoals?" she asked, hopeful. She wanted to walk in full view of the romantic sunset.

"Yeah" said Jamie. "Think you can manage that in those shoes?"

"Sure," Eddie replied. "Sure you can manage..." She caught herself. She'd promised.

"I'll be just fine" he said, knowing she was worrying unduly.

Hand-in-hand, they walked out along the shoals as the sun continued to set. They didn't talk, except for the occasional comment on how pretty it looked out there along the waters edge. After walking a fair distance, Jamie suggested they take some time to just sit and soak in the beauty around them.

"Wanna stop here for awhile?" he asked her.

"Sure" Eddie replied. "Let's just sit here." She slipped off her shoes and sat down on the rock.

He brushed the rock off with his hand. "Trying to keep my pants clean" he said with a smile as he sat down beside her.

"We can retire here," she sighed, gazing out at the water.

"That's a ways off," said Jamie.

"Still, wouldn't it be nice. To move out here, watch our grandchildren play?" she asked

"Wow, grandchildren" he said, shaking his head. "Hard to think about a baby the size of a pea ever being a mom or dad."

"Still, it's so peaceful and the sunsets are nothing like this in New York."

Jamie nodded his agreement as Eddie smiled again and reached her legs out so they were across his lap. "I want you to want this as badly as I do. I want you to want our child, our life, our future as much as me."

He knew she was hurting. "I do want it as badly as you, Eddie. I'm just...I guess I'm afraid."

"Of what?" she asked, pulling her legs back so her knees were bent. She wrapped her arms around them and laid her head on her knees.

He shrugged as he searched for the right words. "Everything that you have to go through, I guess. My part is easy; I hold your hand and get screamed at for a while, but your part - you have to go through so much."

"I'm young and strong, Jamie. I'll be fine. You have to stop this fear stuff, you aren't losing me all right? You won't lose me unless you keep pushing me away. Stop pushing me away."

Jamie sighed, "Okay" he said, kissing the top of her head. "You know how much I love you, don't you?"

She nodded, "I do. And I love you too, but this whole thing...it's going to take time to get used to it. Let's just go back. I'm not really feeling well right now." Her stomach was starting to flip flot.

"Okay, love," he said, pushing himself up off the rock and offering her his hands to help stand up.

Eddie slipped her shoes back on and leaned against Jamie as the walked back in the night darkness. "I love you," Eddie whispered. "Never doubt that."

"I know you do" he said. "I know."

"Promise me we'll always be like this" she requested as they stepped off the rock shoal and turned towards their hotel.

"If you mean we'll always be madly in love" he said, "I promise."

 **A/N: Well, here is the longest installment I have ever written for Pillow Talk. I hope everyone enjoyed. Tomorrow, the trip to Plymouth will conclude and next week, Jamie and Eddie will take a stop by good old Harvard Yard. Beginning, Friday, April 22, post episodes for Season Six will begin. Thanks to everyone that has read and reviewed. I love to hear from each of you. Huge thanks to Lawslave for reading this HUGE chapter and providing feedback!**


	19. Plymouth Progress - B

**A/N: There are so adult themes in this chapter but nothing too graphic, but if you don't like that sort of thing, you might want to skip. I personally do not feel it is enough to make it an M so I didn't make that choice. This is the end of Eddie and Jamie's journey in Plymouth, then it's onto Harvard before returning to the grind in New York.**

 **A Healing Peace will concluded tomorrow night and the next story in the Tough Universe, And Baby Makes, will post on Wednesday, 4/16, probably, at midnight to kick it off and will update every other day.**

Eddie smiled a tiny smile but kept herself wrapped in his arm until they reached their room. "Bath time, Lamb chop she told him and gave him a tiny push towards the bathroom. "Twenty minute soak."

"I showered before I got dressed for dinner" he said. "You think I need a bath?"

"I think you need a soak" Eddie replied. "Get in there. I need a little bit of time anyway."

"Oh, okay" he said with a grin. "Twenty minutes, right?"

"Did you do your back therapy before?" she asked. "I've only seen you do it twice this week."

"No," he admitted. "I will though."

"Do it now," Eddie ordered. "Then twenty minutes."

"Yes, my dear" he answered, closing the bathroom door as he unbuttoned his jacket.

Eddie used the time to collect her feelings and fix her face. Then she turned down the large bed and pulled out the candles she'd stashed in there earlier. Carefully she lit them, and then changed out of her dress and into a long white nightgown. She slipped inside the bed, cuddled up with Jamie's pillow, and waited.

Jamie finished with his therapy exercises and took a long, hot shower, making sure to take at least twenty minutes if not a couple more. He dried off with one of the large, plush bath towels this hotel provided to its guests, then wrapped it around his waist and ran a comb through his wet hair. After he brushed his teeth and made sure his hair wouldn't dry sticking straight up, he opened the bathroom door and flipped off the light. It was then what he got his first glimpse of Eddie, lying there in all her beauty.

"You took a shower," she laughed. "Come on over here."

"What's all this?" he asked softly, looking at the candles as he crawled into bed beside her, towel still around his waist.

"Romance" she replied. "What's this?" she asked, hooking one finger inside the towel and flicking the knot out of it.

"It's my bath towel" he answered. "Is it a problem?"

Eddie pushed a bit harder on the knot until it dislodged. "Not anymore."

"My, my, aren't we being bold tonight?" he asked, a smile on his face and a sparkle in his eyes.

"We are," Eddie smiled. "And we are also very lonely," she sighed and opened her arms to him, inviting him into a place where he'd longed to be.

He kicked the towel the rest of the way off and crawled over to her, accepting her embrace with a passionate kiss.

She leaned up into the kiss, opening her mouth to accept his warm soft tongue. He used it to explore her mouth, moving it back and forth, in and out, showing Eddie the tenderness and passion he intended for her with other parts of his body. "Mmmm," Eddie said.

"I've missed you," he whispered against her ear.

"I missed you," she replied. "I love you" she gasped as she felt his hand run down her collar bone across the top of her breast.

He leaned down and began kissing her collar bone, and then he stopped and looked at her. She reached her hand up and stroked his cheek. "I love how you touch me. I love you. I'm really missing you," she replied.

"Well, we can't have that, now can we?" he said, once again brushing his hand across the top, left to right, very softly.

At that tiny touch, Eddie gasped. "Oh...Jamie. Oh, God that's so good. So...oh...God what are you doing?"

"Touching you" he replied softly. "You like it?"

Already her breath was coming is fast short gasps so aroused was she by his caresses, "Yes, oh...What are you doing different?"

"Nothing" he said, slipping one of her nightie straps down off her shoulder. "Do you want me to do something different?"

"Feels..." she gasped. "Different. So good." Eddie squirmed beneath his touch moving to help him ease the nightgown off her arms. "Oh..."

He moved to kiss her lips. "Somehow, I think you'll be okay tonight" he whispered against them.

Eddie opened her mouth and nearly devoured his lips with the strength of her kisses. "Oh...Jamie, my God...I..." With that she positioned her thigh in between their bodies and used the leverage to flip them over, so he landed hard on the bed with 127 pounds of sexy and aroused woman on top of him.

"Calling the shots?" he asked, a sensual smile on his face.

Eddie didn't reply, she just leaned over him and began kissing her way up his jaw line to his earlobe. She took his lobe in her mouth and sucked a bit, then pulled back and lapped at the sensitive tissue with her tongue.

"Mmm...Oh, God Eddie" he moaned. "That's nice..."

"You like that, huh?" she asked, her hot breath against his ear.

"Mmm...yeah," he whispered.

"How about this?" she asked, and proceeded to blow hot breath in his ear before returning to the work on his lobe.

"Ohhh..." was all he could say.

As she continued to slowly torture Jamie by working on the sensitive flesh of his earlobe she ran her hand down his sculpted body.

His only response was writhing against his pillow.

"Nice," he answered, reaching over to touch her thigh beneath her nightgown, slowly running his hand upwards, just high enough to tease her.

"Oh," Eddie gasped just at the light sensation. "Oh...Take it off me" she gasped.

"My pleasure" he said, his voice low and deep as he took either side of the garment in his hands and slowly pulled it down off her body. "Get it the rest of the way, baby."

Eddie took her hands and pushed the nightie over her hips. She knelt over him as she did so, revealing her full nakedness to his view.

He could feel his heart skip a beat, maybe two, as he stared at her bare form. "Eddie..."

"What? What are you thinking right now, Lamb chop?" she asked in a breathy whisper, reaching and running her hands down her body instead of his, showing him perhaps how she wanted to be touched.

"How unbelievably gorgeous you are" he replied softly, his heart pounding within his chest.

"No" she smiled. "Only because you love me," Eddie replied and reached for his hands.

He reached out and met her half-way, and they sat for a moment, holding hands and staring into one another's eyes with complete and total adoration. Had anyone seen them at that moment, there would have been no question in their mind that this couple was just about as perfect a match as ever came together on this planet.

Eddie broke that moment a second later when she pulled his hands closer and placed them on her breasts. "I used to dream of you doing this to me. I used to dream that you'd come to me after a rough night on a tour to check on me, and that you'd take me in your arms and hold me."

"I didn't know that" he said, his hands moving gently against her soft skin.

"I dreamt of that so long" Eddie sighed and leaned over so her body was resting on his. "You know when it started?"

"No," he answered. "Tell me."

"Right after Jake," Eddie replied.

"Really?" asked Jamie, wrapping his arms around her back. "How come?"

"That was one of my toughest times. You came to my apartment and in my dream, I was fresh from my shower. I'd been so mean to you...I dreamed for months after that you would have sat with me and taken me in your arms after I told you what I did about…the things he'd done to me. Then you would have said something like, 'but you beat him', or 'you're better than that' and I'd have smiled."

"You _are_ better than that," he said. "And I love you so, so much."

"Aren't you the least bit curious?" she asked, sticking her tongue out to place a wet kiss on his chin.

"'Bout what?" he asked, moving his chin down to catch her lips with his.

"About what happened next?" Eddie laughed. "Once you finished telling me nice things."

"You bet I am," he said, softly rubbing her tummy, thinking of the baby growing there.

"Well, I was crying a little and you reached up and wiped the tears off my cheek. I moved my hand to cover yours and you looked into my eyes. I asked you, 'Do you think I'm worth something?' And you said, 'Of course you are, Eddie,' and then you leaned down and gave me this tiny little kiss..."

In the absence of her tears, he reached up and cupped her face with his hand. "You're worth more than 'something', Eddie. You're worth everything to me."

She smiled. "And you to me. Once you kissed me...well, before I knew it, my pink fluffy robe was gone...and we were making love. You were making me feel like a woman, like I was more than just who I was. That's how you make me feel, you know?"

"You _are_ more" he said sweetly. "You're a woman, a cop; you're my lover...my very best friend..." His voice faded out as he pulled her face in close for an earth-moving kiss.

Eddie returned the emotions of the kiss and smiled against his mouth. "I can only be those things because of you" she replied. "You were the first man who really..."

"Those other guys didn't realize what they had right in front of them" said Jamie. "I don't ever want to take you for granted, Eddie. I can only be who _I_ am because of you, because of the way you love me."

There were no words for a while after that. She leaned against him and kissed his lips, his cheeks, down his neck and all the way back down his body once again her hands following the path of her mouth. "Jamie..." she breathed against the sensitive skin of his knee and pressed her face against his muscular thigh.

"Hmm?" he replied, his heart once again beating fast from her attentions.

"I want you" she told him. "I want you so badly."

"I want you, too, baby" he whispered, sitting up and reaching out to bring her nearer. He took her lips in the most intense kiss they'd shared all evening, perhaps all week. He lay back against his pillow, holding her on top of him for a moment before rolling to the side and pinning her beneath him. He pulled back and gazed into her eyes. "God, you're so amazing..."

Eddie smiled, "Make me feel amazing" she told him.

He leaned in close again, once more kissing her lips, her neck, her shoulder.

Eddie moaned in her throat as his lips caressed her flesh. "Oh, Jamie" she gasped. "That's...Oh, it feels good."

"Mm-hmm" he said, taking time to pay attention to every place he could reach from his position.

"I love you" Eddie gasped. "I love what you do to me. Please" she whined and lifted her hips. "Please."

"Calm down, baby" he whispered. "I have a better idea."

Eddie raised her eyebrow, "Oh, and what would that be?" Eddie asked. "I can't..."

"Shh..." he said softly. "Just let me take care of you." He placed his hand upon her tummy, moving it oh-so-slowly towards the place she was begging him to go.

"Uh..." Eddie made a tiny noise of anticipation. "I..."

At that moment, his hand reached its destination. He touched her body softly, so softly he wasn't sure if she even felt it, but he knew if she did, she'd make it known.

"Mm," she sighed and pressed her sex against his hand. "Yes. Oh..."

"Feel alright?" he asked, continuing his gentle caresses.

"So good," she breathed. "But I need you."

"Okay" he replied, his voice little more than a whisper.

"What's wrong?" she asked, the softness of his voice making her fear she'd disappointed him.

"Nothing, baby" he answered. "I'm just thinking if we'll hurt it."

"We won't hurt it," Eddie replied. "You're too gentle to ever hurt anything."

"I'll always be gentle with you," Jamie promised stroking her cheek, eyes smoldering.

"Then," she caressed his cheeks. "No worries."

"No worries" he repeated, coming in close for a kiss. "Now, where were we?"

"You were just about to make the aching stop," Eddie reminded him and lifted her hips.

"I was, wasn't I?" he asked, moving his body atop hers, and without further hesitation, joining the two as one.

They kept the motion slow, soft, and unhurried. This was a reunion for them of sorts, and both wanted to enjoy it, to savor it. But alas, the rhythm had to build and as slowly as they went up, they came down, whispering words of love the entire journey.

He snuggled in close to her. "How was it?" he whispered, placing an angel kiss on her cheek.

"Wonderful" she smiled. "I've missed it."

"Me, too, sweetie" he said. "Did it 'feel right' this time? It didn't hurt you, did it?"

"No" Eddie replied. "No but it still felt different."

"Good different?" he asked, running his fingers through her hair. "Or bad?"

"I felt so much" she said. "So much more."

"Maybe because of your hormones?" he suggested.

"Maybe, but I think it's because I feel like, for the first time, we are really. I feel there's always going to be an us," Eddie replied, "Well that and the hormones." Eddie bit on her lip. "And I'm about two seconds from another hormone surge so get ready to hold me."

"Oh, Eddie" he said, wrapping both arms around her tight. "Let it go, sweetie. I'm right here."

"I love you so much, baby," Jamie crooned. He had no frame of reference for her hormonal jags, his Eddie did not cry so much, or have mood swings. This new Eddie, maternal Eddie was a new person. "You don't have to keep crying, okay? I'm not going to leave you, I'm not going to break my promises. I'm here for you, and I'm going to love you all night long."

Without a spoken answer, he reached up, placed a hand behind her head and pulled her down for a long, tender kiss.

They made love again and again that night, each time sweeter and gentler than the time before it until finally, as the sun rose over the horizon, Jamie dozed into a deep sleep. Eddie stayed awake, she soaked in a hot tub to relax, got breakfast and brought some food for Jamie to eat when he woke up.

He awakened to the sound of the TV playing softly across the room. "Mmm...What time is it?" he mumbled, unsure of where Eddie even was.

"12:20" Eddie replied from the chair on the other side of the bed. "Sleep well?"

"Mm-hmm," he answered, rubbing his hands over his stubbly face. "You?"

"Well enough," Eddie replied. "That was some night we had last night."

He smiled. "Yeah, it was. Made up for lost time, didn't we?"

Eddie nodded. "We did. What do you want to do today?"

"Dunno," he said, still trying to fully wake up.

"Do you need more sleep?" Eddie asked. "I can just read for a bit if you're too tired."

"No, I'm alright" he said. "I'll be more awake after my shower. Do I smell coffee?"

"You do, but it's cold" Eddie replied.

"Any chance I could talk you into going down and getting me a fresh cup, baby?"

"I'll have to go across the street. The breakfast room closed two and half hours ago" Eddie replied. "No worries, I'll be right back."

Eddie kissed Jamie and left him to shower. She went to get a cup of coffee for Jamie from the diner that served it all day. By the time she returned, he was showered, standing in front of the full length mirror shaving.

"Here you go," she said, setting the coffee on the table in the corner.

"Oh, thanks," he said. I'm just about ready."

Once breakfast was finished and everything packed up, they headed for Plymouth Plantation and got real taste of 17th Century life. Jamie concluded that even with the pollution and the crime rate, he much preferred life in the 21st. They ate dinner than night at their hotel restaurant, bathed together and made love. Eddie's lack of sexual initiative from the first few days of their trip had been replaced by a nearly insatiable hunger for Jamie's body.

Their next adventure ferry ride to Provincetown at the tip of Cape Cod, and an all-day fishing trip on the open water. Jamie caught the second largest fish and won a gift card for dinner that evening. Their last night on the coast was for sure memorable one.


	20. Final Answer - A

**A/N: This chapter contains material that may be sensitive to some readers regarding Eddie's pregnancy. If you have pregnancy sensitivities of any kind, please read with caution. It is not my wish to upset anyone. I do not know how it feels to be in Eddie's position but I have had friends experience this and I have experienced the loss of this dream. I hope I did it justice.**

 **Next week, post episode stories will resume for Season six. Thanks to Lawslave for reading this chapter over and providing feedback during it's development. Another installment of this tomorrow as well as Chapter Three of And Baby Makes...Thanks for reading.**

Early the next morning, Jamie and Eddie checked out of their hotel and headed for Cambridge. It had been years since Jamie had been there and he had to admit the town had good and bad memories for him. They stayed in a hotel a few blocks from Harvard yard.

Eddie could barely keep her eyes open, "You tired, baby?" Jamie asked. "What if you take a nap and rest and I'll go out and make reservations for tonight. Tonight…We celebrate our little one and a new relationship, that I will make sure is the best one either of us has ever had."

Eddie smiled and kissed Jamie's cheek, "Thank you. I just hope that we aren't getting too excited. We don't know for sure…"

"What it is, it is," Jamie soothed. "Let's just be happy. Rest now. I'll be back and ready by 5 okay?"

Eddie smiled her reply, set the alarm on her phone, and stretched out falling asleep the moment her head hit the pillow.

Jamie returned to the room at 4:30, Eddie was finishing getting ready. She was nervous they would miss the reservation with Jamie's late arrival but he assured her he had it under control.

As Jamie stepped out of the bathroom, fully dressed and ready, Eddie asked, "Are you sure you want to go to this expense. We are going to have a lot…"

"But of course," he said as he gave her a kiss and grabbed his jacket from the bed.

" _Wow, he looks_ _really_ _handsome tonight_ " she thought, " _the blue in that shirt matches his eyes_."

"I thought after we ate dinner we could go for a walk through Harvard yard," suggested Jamie. "Unless you'd rather go someplace else."

"No, that sounds really nice. I'm not sure what I want for dinner yet, but a walk with you is always nice," replied Eddie as she slipped her shoes on.

" _She gets more beautiful everyday,_ " thought Jamie as he watched her, " _I can't believe how much I love her_." "Great, are we ready to go celebrate, my dear?" he asked as he stood up and pulled her close.

"Yeah, let me make one last trip to the bathroom and I'll be all set," said Eddie. She kissed him again and went down the hall.

"Jamie!"

"Eddie!" Jamie hurried to the bathroom and pushed the door open. "Are you all right? Did you fall?"

"I'm bleeding," Eddie replied through tears. "I'm bleeding a lot."

Jamie helped Eddie get her clothing back on and helped her to the car, their celebration meal forgotten as he sped toward Massachusetts General.

Eddie cried the whole way to the hospital.

"I don't know what's wrong," she sobbed. "I'm scared."

"I know, my love, I'm scared, too," said Jamie as he held her hand tight. "But let's get you checked out and see if we have anything to be scared about."

"What do you mean 'if we have anything to be scared about'!?" cried Eddie, "I'm pregnant, I'm bleeding and I'm scared!" She didn't mean to yell at him, but fear had taken control and she couldn't help it.

"I mean maybe this isn't as bad as we think, maybe this is common and we just don't know because we've never been through it before," said Jamie, hoping to calm Eddie down a little.

"I don't think so. I've just got a really bad feeling about this."

The ER wasn't too crowded that night, so they didn't have to wait very long before being called back. The nurse asked Eddie a ton of questions, making note of each answer on a form attached to her chart.

"Is this your first pregnancy, Ms. Janko?"

"Yes," replied Eddie.

"How far along are you?"

"I'm not sure. I was three weeks late and the home test said…" said Eddie, fighting to keep herself together.

"Was this pregnancy confirmed with a blood test?"

"No, we're on vacation, I planned to see my own doctor when we got back to New York."

"On a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being highest, how much would you say you're bleeding?" asked the nurse.

Eddie thought for a moment and answered "About a 4."

Jamie was right beside her the whole time, hoping and praying it would turn out to be nothing and that Eddie and the baby would be fine, but the longer he sat there the more concerned he became.

The nurse finished questioning Eddie, and led she and Jamie to a gurney in the hallway.

"Sorry, all the rooms are full right now," said the nurse. "But I'll get you a gown to change into and you can lie down here and as soon as a room becomes available, we'll move you."

"That's fine, thank you," said Jamie as the nurse handed Eddie a gown and pointed towards the restroom.

"I'll be right back," said Eddie. She returned several minutes later dressed in the gown, which she hated, and carrying her clothes.

"Let me take those for you, Eddie" said Jamie reaching for the pile of clothes.

"It's okay, I'll just set them at the foot of the bed, but thanks" said Eddie.

"Need any help getting up there?" asked Jamie. "Yeah, actually I do" Eddie replied, and Jamie took her hand as she gingerly climbed atop the gurney. She got as comfortable as she could and laid there quietly, staring up at the ceiling tiles.

After a few moments, Jamie broke the nervous silence. "Did it stop yet, the bleeding?" he asked.

Eddie shook her head, "No, it's about the same as before."

"I'm sorry, Eddie," he sighed, gently stroking her hair. "I wish we knew what was going on." He moved his chair closer to the gurney so he could hold her hand while they waited for the doctor.

"Edit Janko?" asked the doctor as he approached Jamie and Eddie, who were still waiting for a room to become available.

"Yes" answered Eddie.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Mitchell" he said, extending his hand to Eddie and then Jamie, "I'll be handling your case."

"Nice to meet you, doctor," said Eddie.

"You're having bleeding very early in your pregnancy, correct?" asked the doctor.

"Yes," answered Eddie, feeling herself getting worked up again.

"Well, we won't really know anything until we do some blood work and a physical exam," said Dr. Mitchell. "But I want you to know that this isn't as uncommon as you may think and it doesn't always indicate a problem."

"How can bleeding not indicate a problem?" asked Eddie, feeling very skeptical.

"Well, sometimes as the embryo implants in the uterus, it causes some bleeding, anywhere from a very little bit to a lot," said the doctor, hoping to appease Eddie somewhat. "It doesn't happen in every case of course, but we do see a fair amount of it at this facility."

Knowing that Eddie was getting worked up, Jamie stepped in and asked the next question.

"Do you know when we'll be moved to a room?"

"I'll go check on that in just a moment, Sir, but it shouldn't be much longer. In the meantime we can get Eddie's IV started and get the blood we need for the lab work."

"Eddie?" asked Jamie. "You want them to start the IV"?

"That's fine, may as well do something while we're waiting" answered Eddie.

The doctor excused himself and went to check on getting them into a room and to turn in the orders for the blood work. "I don't care if this sort of thing isn't uncommon and doesn't always indicate a problem," said Eddie quietly. "I've got a feeling it's not good."

Jamie knew that he best not argue with her, especially not over a "feeling" she had, since Eddie's "feelings" were rarely off the mark by much. He wanted to believe that she was just protecting herself by preparing for the worst, but he didn't know for sure. He was trying to juggle being there for her and supporting her with keeping his own fears and concerns in check, not an easy task.

"It'll be okay, Eddie," Jamie soothed. "Whatever happens, good or bad, it'll be okay because we're in it together."

" _Gosh, I love this man…"_ she thought to herself as the frightened tears began to fall once more. Jamie leaned against the gurney and embraced her so she could cry on his shoulder.

After almost 2 hours of waiting in the hallway, they were finally moved into an exam room just before 10:00. Fortunately for Eddie, the nurse who came in to start the IV and draw blood was very good at it, and she hardly felt a thing.

"That didn't look like it was half as bad as some of the ones I've had," said Jamie after the nurse had finished up and left the room.

"It wasn't bad, but it didn't feel good by any means, but I've had worse."

"Hopefully the doctor will be in soon and we can get some answers on everything," said Jamie, attempting to keep Eddie engaged in some sort of conversation.

"I hope so," she answered. Jamie knew by the look on her face she was really scared, and it was killing him to know he couldn't do anything about it.

Dr. Mitchell came in a few minutes later, accompanied by a nurse.

"Okay, Eddie. Let's do the physical exam and see what that tells us."

"All right." Eddie reached out for Jamie who sat down on the stool the nurse provided him. He kissed her hand and prayed to anyone who would listen to let their baby be okay.

"Let me know if any of this is painful, Eddie." The doctor hated to hurt his patients, especially ones in a high emotional state.

"Oh, don't worry, you'll know," Eddie replied taking several deep breaths.

Jamie held her right hand in both of his, caressing it gently. "What's wrong, are you okay?!" he asked her when she suddenly squeezed his hand and took a very deep breath.

"Yeah, that hurt!" said Eddie, trying to relax.

"I'm sorry, Eddie," said the doctor. "I'll try not to hurt you anymore."

Jamie hated this, not just that Eddie was in such an uncomfortable situation, but because once again she was hurting and he was powerless to stop it.

A couple of minutes later, the doctor finished the exam and gave Jamie and Eddie his initial findings. "I can't give you a final answer until I get your blood work back and check your hormone levels, but the amount of bleeding you're experiencing could indicate a very early miscarriage, it's what we call a chemical pregnancy."

As soon as she heard "miscarriage", Eddie began to choke up.

"When will you know for sure?" asked Jamie as he rubbed Eddie's back and tried in vain to comfort her.

"We should have the tests back in a few hours, but I feel certain it will confirm my initial suspicions. Without a blood test to compare it too, we'll just be looking at the HCG levels and determining if there is any presence or enough present to indicate a healthy pregnancy"

"I see," said Jamie. "And what are the chances that the numbers tonight will be good and everything will be fine and we can chalk this up as one of the 'not so uncommon' cases you spoke of earlier?"

The doctor thought for a moment before he answered. "Honestly, Mr. Reagan, I don't think that's going to be the case, but again, we have to wait for the blood work."

Eddie sat on the bed and cried through the entire exchange between the doctor and Jamie, and once the doctor left, she really fell apart.

"Eddie, let's try not to give up yet, there's still a chance things are really okay" comforted Jamie.

"Things aren't okay" cried Eddie, "I'm telling you Jamie, they're not OK. We're gonna lose our baby, I just know it."

He slid onto the bed beside her and held her close.

"I don't want to hear the final answer from the doctor, Jamie," said Eddie, still crying, "I want to hear it from you."

"Sure, Eddie, whatever you want is what we'll do," said Jamie as he stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head, glad there was finally something, _anything_ he could do for her.

Just after midnight, Dr. Mitchell returned with the results of the blood work. Jamie spoke up as soon as he saw the doctor.

"May we go over the test results in the hallway, doctor, just you and I?" he asked, "She'd like for me to be the one to tell her what the tests showed."

"Of course, Jamie, right this way," said the doctor. They were gone for several minutes, minutes which Eddie thought would last forever. She turned her head when she heard the door open again, and she watched as Jamie came over to her bed and sat on the edge. He took her hand in his and silently stared down at the floor.

"Jamie...?" Eddie asked, her heart racing.

When he lifted his head to look at her, she saw the tears in his eyes.

"We're losing our baby," he said, his voice trembling with emotion.

"I know," whispered Eddie. "I know."

They held onto one another and cried….


	21. Final Answer - B

The drive home was a quiet one. They'd spent nearly 5 hours at the hospital by the time they left, taking the last hour to regain enough composure to make it back to the hotel. Eddie's discharge orders were to return right away if she felt things were getting worse or if she was in a lot of pain, and to follow up with her own doctor as soon as they returned to New York. The nurse had already called and left a message with her doctor's office saying that Eddie would be in with the next few days.

"Can you just hold me all night?" Eddie asked Jamie as they neared the hotel.

"Of course, Eddie", he answered, "I don't think either of us would want to be any place but with each other tonight." They really needed each other after the heartbreak they'd been handed.

They arrived at the hotel at some ghastly hour of the night. "We're leaving first thing tomorrow," Jamie said as Eddie changed into her preferred pajamas, a pair of Jamie's old workout shorts and a faded Harvard tee.

"No, we are not," Eddie replied. "I don't want to think about traveling and we still have to visit your old stomping grounds. I am not letting this ruin what was for the most part a wonderful first vacation."

Knowing that as sad as he was, Eddie was hurting far more, Jamie gave in. She would tell him if she changed her mind. Exhausted both physically and emotionally, they got into bed and snuggled up close to one another and laid there in silence for the longest time, until the sorrow came flooding back. "I'm sorry," said Eddie as she began to cry again.

"Eddie", said Jamie, embracing and pulling her near, "Don't apologize like you did something wrong. You didn't, it's just one of those things that's nobody's fault, sometimes bad things just happen." Deep down, she knew that, but it seemed like someone needed to be blamed for what felt like the cruelest joke on earth. They'd been so happy the past few days, once he adjusted to the idea of a baby, and before they even got to tell anyone else, every ounce of that happiness had been snatched away and replaced with pain and loss.

"It's not fair!" she screamed.

"I know", said Jamie.

"Why couldn't it have all been okay? Why couldn't we have been one of those couples who go in afraid of the worst and find out things are alright?!" sobbed Eddie.

"I don't know, my love," said Jamie, his voice cracking, "I don't know."

They slept late the next morning, they didn't have an itinerary for the day. Jamie got some breakfast then called back into bed with Eddie. Jamie managed to go back to sleep, but Eddie just laid there thinking about everything. " _I wonder if it was a boy or a girl…"_ she thought to herself. She laid with her back to Jamie, not wanting to wake him, and silently sobbed into her pillow. After a couple minutes, she felt his arm wrap around her, and she snuggled in as close as she could get to him and cried until her head hurt. Jamie just held her close, wishing he could take the pain away.

A little before noon, Eddie pushed herself up in bed. "Okay, Reagan…I want to see all the places that you used to bring the ladies to when you were in school."

"Eddie, are you sure you're up to this?" Jamie asked with concern. "I mean, you have to be bleeding kind of heavy…"

"I'm fine, Jamie. I can't just sit here and wonder you know. Let's go." Eddie got up and dressed in comfortable pants, a loose top, and shoes. "You have to take me to that all you can eat wing joint, too."

Jamie sighed and got dressed. He knew Eddie was putting up walls, trying not to feel. He would indulge her for the most part.

Jamie drove them to Harvard Yard and park the car. He held Eddie's hand, 'That building there, that's the law school. And that big tree, that's where I used to sit and study. That's the tree where I went to think, or anything. If I had a fight with Syd, if Danny was being a jerk…"

"Can we go there? I want to see it up closer."

Jamie nodded and they strolled the winding paths of his alma mater. "There it is, just a big old oak, but it's been her nearly as long as the school has. Has a nice sense of history here." Jamie reached into his backpack and laid a blanket down for Eddie and him to sit on. Jamie sat down and held Eddie's back to him wrapping his arms around her middle. "You know Eddie," Jamie said gently. "Baby, we can try again. If you are ready for a family, if you are ready for that step, Sweetie, we can try again as soon as the doctor says it's safe."

Eddie sighed and laid her head on Jamie's chest. Sitting below the tree, in his arms felt so right. "Things are fine as they are," Eddie sighed. "It's like you said, my being pregnant was a sigh that it was time to go out and tell, well this miscarriage is a sign to keep our mouths shut, that's all."

"Eddie, I know I was the one that said…"

"Jamie, I want to keep things like they are now, okay. I want to leave it…" Eddie's voice cracked.

"All right, sweetheart, but know this, when you are ready, no more waiting…Waiting only makes regrets."

Eddie nodded and sighed breathing in the same air Jamie breathed in I while he was studying here. "Do you ever regret that you made the choices you did?" she asked after ten minutes of silence.

"Never," Jamie said quickly. "I only regret the time I wasted here when I could have been at the academy. If I was a cop already maybe I could have done something to…"

"Oh, Jamie, I'm so sorry!" Eddie gasped. "I am so sorry, I should never have insisted we come here! Oh my God!" Eddie got up and started to pack their things working herself into a frenzy.

"Eddie!" Jamie jumped to his feet trying to soothe her. "Eddie, what's wrong?"

"This is where you were…"

"Where I was?" Jamie asked. "Oh…Oh, Eddie." Jamie reached for her. He'd be lying if he said he didn't feel the loss more acutely here, where he was when he found out about Joe's murder, but there was no need for her to get all upset about it.

Jamie reached for her and pulled her close, "Ssh," Jamie soothed. "Ssh…I'm fine, sweetheart. I'm fine. Don't let your feelings over what happened bleed over into this. Yes, losing Joe stings more here than even at his grave, the memory is fresh here…but Eddie…I want to make new memories."

Eddie took some deep shaky breaths, "I think I want to go back. I don't feel very well."

Eddie was pale and shaking in Jamie's arms. The wound of Joe's death were open and bleeding again, all he wanted to do was go back home. "Let's rest a while and start for home." Jamie held Eddie close and tight. "Come on, Sweetheart."

Jamie held her hands as they walked back to the car. When they pulled into the hotel Jamie took Eddie upstairs, "Lie down. Are you bleeding badly?"

Eddie shook her head, "I just can't believe I was so selfish. That's why the baby didn't live. I'm too selfish to be a mother. I never thought about you and how you'd feel being back where you were when your brother died."

Jamie shook his head furiously at the thought Eddie was anything but caring. He sat on the bed next to her taking her shaking hand in his. "That is not true Eddie, you're a great person and will make a great mother."

Eddie's whole body shook, upset and full of guilt.

"Eddie look at me, the baby not living is not your fault, and I wanted to show you my old stomping grounds."

When Eddie didn't answer Jamie continued, "I didn't become a cop right away because my mom didn't want me to but if I had become a cop maybe I could have saved my brother. That tree is where I went when I found out but it has nothing to do with you. I wanted to make a happier memory, and you in my arms under that tree that was the happiest memory of all."

Eddie shifted in Jamie's arms, sobbing into his chest. "I already loved that baby, Jamie."

Jamie sighed, he hadn't been as gung ho about the prospect of parenthood as Eddie had been, but his heart still ached for the child they created and it's incredibly short life inside Eddie's body. "I know you did, I know…" Jamie rocked her in his arms. "We'll talk to the doctor when we get back to New York, and if you want to try, we will. I love you so much, I want us to marry one day and have a big a family as you can stand." Jamie brushed Eddie's hair and laid her down as he felt her body grow heavy. "Rest now, I'll be right here. I still owe you some wings."

Eddie laughed a little as Jamie covered her body with the quilt. He kissed her gently and watched as she fell into an uneasy sleep. Tomorrow, they would start for home and head from their loss. Tonight, whatever Eddie needed from him, he would do, including eating buckets of hot wings at a dive bar in Harvard yard.

 **A/N: Next week we'll resume the post episodes…Some readers have asked me when they will go public. It is likely I will have them go public the same time the show does or when the show is cancelled. Otherwise, I will try to work with their private relationship behind closed doors. I believed at least for part of the season, they were in a quiet relationship but recent episodes have changed my mind. Still, this is fanfiction so I get to play with these characters my way. I hope everyone enjoyed their vacation.**


	22. Worst Case Scenario

Eddie all but collapsed onto the sofa after terribly long shifts her first week back on the job. When Eddie and Jamie returned to New York, he made their first priority a visit to her OBGYN. Dr. Landon had given Eddie a note for taking two weeks off from work and two weeks on restricted duty. Jamie fussed and fretted over her the first week while she was still bleeding and feeling fragile. Finally, he had to go back to work, his leave from his back injury coming to an end.

The last three days, she and Jamie had spent nearly fourteen hours in the RMP hunting down leads on Stas, a suspected terrorist. She was exhausted and could hardly move as she put her feet up on the coffee table. Jamie followed her inside. The last month since their trip they had been staying at Jamie's place. Eddie felt comfortable there and it was closer to the 12th. Jamie sat on the couch beside Eddie, not speaking. There weren't words for today. He reached over, putting her feet on his lap. He slid off her shoes and her socks and began to rub her feet. Eddie moaned in pleasure at the feel of his hands on her sore feet.

"I am so tired," Eddie sighed. "These last few days…"

"I know," Jamie replied. "You did some fabulous work on this case though. If I was worried about you going back in the field, I'm not now."

Eddie sat up straighter, "You were worried about me?

"Of course I was," Jamie replied. "You had a traumatic experience physically, never mind emotionally. You were bleeding for two weeks, you still tire very easily, but you pushed through it and your insight was invaluable to our finding Stas and stopping him before innocent people died."

"All in a day's work, Reagan," Eddie replied. "Did you see that look Danny gave us when we were making the bust?

"Yeah, don't worry, I'm on it," Jamie comforted. "Danny thought it was a little suspicious that I took a 2 week vacation to Boston at the same time you took two weeks' vacation that was due you…"

"Jamie, how much longer can we keep this secret?" Eddie asked. "In reality…how much longer?" She pulled her legs back and wrapped her arms around them resting her head on her knees.

Jamie sighed, "I know, sweetheart. We will talk about it, all right. I was thinking maybe we need to get some…Help is the wrong word but maybe I need to get some help with this. I can't let go of the fear and until I do I won't be an effective cop or an effective boyfriend without us being partnered. Call it irrational, call it…"

"Controlling, silly…but incredibly sweet." Eddie leaned over and kissed Jamie. "If you feel you want some help…which maybe will help you let go of Joe all the way, I'll be there. You were incredibly sweet with me during this whole miscarriage thing. I will do anything to help you be able to have a happier life."

Jamie smiled, "All right, then I'll look into it and we'll see how it goes." Jamie kissed Eddie's lips softly. "You want to order some pizza?"

"No," Eddie replied. "I'm really tired I think I'm going to go to bed. You can order if you want to, but I'm tired and my back is bothering me. I'm going to take a hot shower."

Jamie kissed Eddie's hand as she passed and dialed for some Chinese. He hoped he could get Eddie to take some soup or lo mein. Jamie watched the TV while Eddie showered, just as the water turned off the knock came at the door. They did live minutes from the restaurant but it seemed a little fast. Still, it was too late for others to be visiting. Jamie opened the door with the money in his hand, "$27.50, plus tip," Danny announced.

"Hey, Jamie…" Eddie called out towel drying her hair. "I think I'll have some toast if…" She froze in place staring at Jamie and Danny with her mouth open.

"Eddie, go back to the bedroom," Jamie told her.

"To the bedroom," Danny replied. "Oh, I knew it. I knew you two were up to something, I bet you two were together in Boston too. Come on out here, Eddie, the kid is about to catch flies."

Eddie came closer to Jamie and stood almost behind him. "I uh…"

"Don't explain, Eddie," Jamie said protectively. "Just relax, honey. Sit down…"

Jamie saw Eddie drop into the big arm chair then too the food from Danny. "Well, I guess we better explain." Jamie took Eddie's hand in his and kissed it. "Eddie and I have been dating since February, ever since Eddie shot that perp outside the bank and killed him. We told each other how we feel and we chose to keep it quiet at first because of Eddie's fear and now because of mine."

"So you two have been dating six months and didn't tell anyone? Jamie, you could both be in terrible trouble…"

"I know," Jamie replied still holding onto Eddie. "After Linda was shot we talked about going public but I honestly was too scared to go there…You nearly lost Linda and…"

Eddie sat up and rubbed Jamie's arm, "It's all right, Jamie. This is just Danny, your big brother. He'll understand about Joe."

Danny's eyebrows arched, "What about Joe, Jamie?"

Jamie didn't answer, all the emotions were choking him. Eddie held his hand in her hands, "When it came time to go public, Jamie asked if we could sit on things a little longer. He explained that it was hard for him to trust me on the streets with anyone else. There's enough danger out there when we are looking out for each other, never mind if we are with other officers. Jamie would constantly worry and he might get hurt, I would worry and I might get hurt. Jamie lost Joe, and he lost Vinny, he says he can't take losing me and since I lost my mother, my best friend, and for all intents and purposes my father, I believe him. So we stayed quiet and its' worked until now."

Danny sighed, "Jamie…"

"Danny if you want to tell Dad, if you can't keep our secret…"

"Hey, Kid, I'm your big brother, Eddie was right, I'm also an NYPD detective and I already knew you two were together. I actually came by to see Eddie."

Jamie sat up straighter, ready to protect her from Danny. "I wanted to say good work, you both make a good team and I'm glad you found each other. No one knows how short life is more than me, though given I nearly lost Linda a few months ago, so let me say this, don't let things go too much longer. You deserve and life, you deserve a family. There's nothing like it in the world."

Danny was surprised when Eddie began to cry. Jamie turned and rocked her in his arms, "We just…" Jamie swallowed still feeling the loss himself. "We lost a baby a month ago. Eddie is still recovering physically, this was her first week back."

Danny sighed, "I am so sorry, Kid, Eddie, really. Listen, this will not leave my lips. I know I jerk your chain, Kid but something like this, something serious…I have you. I have you both."

"Thank you Danny," Jamie said still hugging Eddie comforting her in his arms. "Well I brought enough food for all us even if Eddie is hungry, you're welcome to join us."

Eddie looked up slightly letting out a small laugh, receiving a confused look from Danny.  
Jamie smirked going to get plates for them as Danny settled down for a meal with his kid brother and the lady he was sure he'd one day call his sister.

 **A/N: There you have it. So many of my loyal readers wanted them to be at least partially public, so I gave in, lol. It was just irony that this Pillow Talk installment was due the same day at the rerun aired. I hope you all enjoyed this post take. Next week and likely the week after will tackle the Jamko rich episode that was Absolute Power. I will take suggestions on things in the episode you'd like explore through review or PM.**


	23. Absolute Power - A

**A/N: Very special thanks to Lawslave for continuing to review these post episode bits of Jamko goodness in a speedy fashion because lately it takes me a while to churn them out. Also, thanks to Yanks20 who collaborated with me to get this segment ready for publication. My health has not been the best in recent weeks and I'm finding it harder to write and construct things. I am grateful to both of these wonderful ladies for their help as well as to my readers for continued interest and support. This post episode experience will be three segments, updating tomorrow and Sunday. Enjoy!**

For the fourth time that night, Jamie woke to Eddie retching. It had shaken her beyond belief to see her father lying bruised and battered in a hospital bed. It broke his heart to see her sitting on the edge of her father's bed, watching to see if he was showing signs of coming to. As soon as he would flinch, Eddie prepared to run. She did not want her father to see her showing care and concern.

When visiting hours ended, Jamie took Eddie for hamburgers and ice cream, her favorite, before bringing her home.

"How are you?" Jamie asked while they ate their meal. "You haven't said much and I know it can't be easy. My Dad was shot..."

"Jamie, it's not even remotely the same thing. I don't talk to my Dad, I don't even really feel like he's my Dad anymore so I'm not about to fall apart over it. I just want to know who did it, no one should be beaten like that, even if they are a lying crook."

Jamie sighed, "Eddie, you still love your Dad. You still care about him or you would have never jumped that CO today."

"Yes, Jamie I would have," Eddie replied. "I get to say it, that rent a cop does not get to say it, it's like you and Danny."

Jamie nodded, definitely understanding that. "Well, tomorrow we'll start by talking to him. Then we'll see what else we can dig up."

Eddie nodded, thankful her partner and lover was willing to stick his neck out like this. All she wanted to do was go home. However, Eddie was exhausted by the time that came. Usually she and Jamie snuggled on the sofa, but tonight she begged off of talking and watching TV, claiming fatigue and a sore back. Jamie let her have her alone time, he sat with his feet up enjoying a beer. Around midnight, Jamie turned in finding Eddie sound asleep. Carefully he pulled her into his arms, and smiled when he felt her head drop onto his shoulder.

Three times since then, Jamie was awakened by Eddie vomiting in the bathroom. Each time he went to her side and held her, each time he helped her back to bed. This time, Jamie tried the door finding it locked. "Eddie, let me in, honey."

Jamie didn't hear anything but more retching. "Eddie, come on, baby, please."

Still silence. Finally, Jamie heard the retching stop only for it to be taken over by sobs. "Eddie, come on sweetie..." Jamie kept knocking, the sound of her tears ripping at his heart. Jamie should have been used to Eddie shutting him out when she was upset or scared but somehow he hoped this time would be different. She hadn't shut him out when she lost their baby, why again now?

Jamie waited by the door continuing to knock hoping Eddie would relent and let him in so he could comfort her. After several more minute of sobbing coming from the bathroom Jamie heard the water running as Eddie washed her mouth before unlocking the door. She walked right past him climbing back into bed turning on her side with her back to Jamie.

Sighing, Jamie followed getting in bed on his side running a hand down her arm before moving closer to wrap his arm around her. Eddie shifted away using her sleeve to wipe away the remaining tears.

"Not tonight Jamie." The truth was all Eddie wanted was Jamie's comfort but she was so confused and conflicted that

Not taking no for an answer, Jamie moved closer still wrapping an arm around her waist, his other arm underneath her locking her in a tight hug against him. "I want to be here for you Eddie, but I can't if you shut me out, so talk to me."

"Talk to you about what? About seeing my father, the man I looked up to all my life laying beaten in a hospital bed? He did some really bad stuff but he didn't deserve that! I want to know what animal would beat another human being like and why?"

Jamie nuzzled her letting his hand gently caress under her shirt the way she likes to be comforted. "I know babe and I'll do everything to get those answers for you I promise. You trust me right?"

"Jamie, he doesn't deserve to see me worried after what he did. He didn't care lying and cheating people which ended up tearing our family apart why should I worry about him," Eddie asked sobbing again.

Jamie shifted so he sat up a bit using his hand to turn her body towards him letting their eyes meet. "Listen to me Eddie, family always comes first. We all make mistakes but the fact is you still care about him or you wouldn't be getting upset. He needs you Eddie and deep down you need him. "

Eddie sighed her eyes clouded with fresh tears unafraid to let her emotions go in front of him. Soothingly, Jamie repositioned himself so Eddie could curl against him with her head resting on his chest while he hugged her close whispering softly into her ear.

"Let it go, I'm here," Jamie sighed hating that she was once again hurting. It seemed lately that Eddie spent way too much time hurting and nowhere near enough time being happy, being his Eddie. Jamie promised himself to make things fun for her when this mess with her father settled down. For now, he'd hold her as close and tight as possible and absorb all of her pent up pain and stress.

Eddie settled down and feigned sleep. Jamie was trying so hard but there was no way he'd ever understand. There was no peace for her ever when it came to her father. He was her hero, her only protector and parent after her mother's death when she was still a young girl. Then it all fell apart. Jamie could empathize with her loss of a parent, but not with the shame, the embarrassment and the fear she felt when her father was hauled away in irons. Eddie felt so much hate, so much anger…she couldn't let go even with Jamie's gentle and at times not so gentle urgings. Still today, part of her was little girl that just lost her Mom, she wanted to curl up on the bed with her Dad and love all the hurt away, the way he would so with her when she laid in her huge canopy bed crying for her Mommy. It wasn't fair! She had her dream inside of her and had it ripped away. Now this with her father…

Quickly, yet gently, Eddie pulled away from Jamie again…feeling the urge to vomit all over again…


	24. Absolute Power - B

Eddie slammed the door hard as she entered the apartment with Jamie. How could she have been so stupid! She had just started to believe that her father was a victim! He was running drugs and being the same kind of crook he had always been!

"Eddie," Jamie sighed as he tried to get a hold of girlfriend. "Eddie, please just stop." Jamie was finally able to grab her arm and pull her in close. "Stop…Breathe…"

"Breathe," Eddie echoed. "What are you? A yoga instructor?"

"Eddie, stop it!" Jamie commanded. "I know you are angry, but I am not the enemy here."

"Oh, no? Then what were you and Armin talking about after I left the room in tears huh? You left me in the damn waiting room crying my eyes out! Why is it when I want you around you're off being a boy scout and when I want to be left alone you are all over me like white on rice?"

Jamie took a breath to get his own temper in check. Eddie's emotions were so saw right now she didn't know what she was saying. Instead of backing away and getting angry, Jamie pulled Eddie closer and held on tight. "We talked about you," Jamie replied. "We talked about how much we both love you."

Jamie felt the tension easing as he held Eddie in his arms, stroking her hair gently.

" **This could be your chance, to make things right with Eddie."**

 **Armin had quickly confessed that he had refused to run drugs for the corrections officers and agree to turn evidence against them. Jamie nodded, "I'll make sure the proper people find out what you've told me, Mr. Janko. I'll talk to Eddie, when she calms down she'll listen."**

 **Armin sighed, "My girl is very strong willed. She's a lot like her mother in that respect."**

 **Jamie nodded, "I know she is and she's been terribly hurt by all of this, by her mother's death, by your arrest. Eddie feels really alone. She's going through some hard times herself."**

" **How long have you been seeing my Edit?" Armin asked.**

" **Mr. Janko, I'm not seeing…"**

" **You are both rotten liars, I can see it plain as the nose on your face you are seeing my girl," Armin replied. "How long have you been together?"**

" **Going on eight months now," Jamie replied. "Eddie, she shot someone and did some really hard undercover work and we…"**

 **Armin nodded, "My girl is very special. She's been hurt a lot by men not good enough for her. I really do hope that you don't fall into that category, Officer Reagan. I really do hope that you are worthy of my Edit's love. She does not give it easily, never has. She does not trust easily either, I did that."**

" **I know," Jamie replied. "Now that you know the truth I'll tell you, I love your daughter, Sir. I will do my best to do right by her and if that means a relationship with you, I'll do everything in my power to help her get to a place where that is possible for her. I can't and won't force her to do something that isn't in her heart, I can't cause her that kind of pain."**

 **Armin nodded, "I know you love her…I can see. Thank you for that."**

Jamie kissed Eddie's hair. "He loves you Eddie, he really does and if you give him a chance to explain things, you'll see it too."

Jamie's touch had softened Eddie's ire, she pulled back and looked up at him. "How could he love me when he ruined my life?"

Jamie sighed, "I think he made foolish mistakes. This drug thing Eddie, right now, as we speak, my father has federal investigators taking your father's statement against his corrections officials. He wasn't running drugs, he was beaten for refusing to cooperate and I believe him. The question is, do you?"

Eddie sighed, "I can't." For the second day in a row, Eddie laid her head on Jamie's chest and began to cry.

Jamie wrapped his arms around Eddie's waist slowly lowering her to the couch.

As Eddie sobbed Jamie shifted her so lay on his lap arms locked around her.

"I know Eddie," Jamie soothed, gently rubbing her arm holding her against him.

Eddie's body shook with every sob that escaped, laying her head against his chest.

"I'm sorry," Eddie hiccupped. "I'm so sorry, Jamie. I was horrible…"

"No," Jamie replied stroking her hair. "No, you needed me and I wasn't there, at least not how you wanted, but sweetheart, I felt it was more important to get you the truth. I know it is so hard to believe in him, baby, I do, but I think his story holds water and I think the evidence on this will speak for itself."

Eddie took a deep breath, "If the feds say he's telling the truth, Jamie it will be dangerous for him…"

"Eddie, he'll be transferred, my father already worked these details out, don't worry. Partners are family to us, and if he knew…we wouldn't be partners but he wouldn't want to see you lose your Dad for his telling the truth."

"If the feds say he's telling the truth then…I'll think about giving him another chance, but Jamie if one word he said was a lie, I am done. I have to be and I need you to support me on this."

Jamie played with Eddie's hair as she continued to sniffle on his lap. "If he lied to me and to the feds, yeah…I will back you 100%, even if he didn't lie and you just can't make that leap, I will back you, all I want for you to do is be open to it. That's all. I don't want for him to die in ten years or twenty years and you live with regrets."

Eddie sat up and offered Jamie a small smile, "Twenty years huh? Planning for a long future together Reagan?"

Jamie leaned closer to Eddie, tipping her head up to meet his lips. "You better believe it…I made an appointment today with a therapist, a grief specialist. I'm going to work on my fear and we are going to make a life together. I hope your dad can be a part of that, but if he can't…as long as we have each other..."

"Then we've got everything," Eddie whispered closing the gap between them sealing their promises with a long, gentle kiss.

 **A/N: Some readers asked for Armin to pinpoint Jamie and Eddie as a couple, so the flashback is dedicated to those who reviewed or PMed that request. As usual, thanks to my test reader, Lawslave and collaborator in this segment of Pillow Talk, Yank20. Both ladies have been invaluable in their own special ways helping me get my installments out on time in spite of struggles with my health. Thank you for reading. The Absolute Power segment concludes tomorrow night. My new story, That's What Love Is For debuts at midnight, Monday.**


	25. Absolute Power - C

**A/N: The final installment of Absolute Power. I hope everyone enjoyed it. Look for my new story coming up in less than a half hour to update on Monday and Thursday. It might not be officially Monday for some of my west coast readers, lol. I hope you all enjoy it.**

"You were too!" Eddie laughed as Jamie dropped next to her on the couch with a beer. "I saw you brushing tears out of your eyes when they took Dad away."

"Okay, so maybe I was crying... _a little_ ," Jamie admitted. "But after seeing you go through such Hell the last few days, it felt good to see you do that, to let go and to give into what you wanted to do all along."

"I did not want to do that all along," Eddie protested stealing Jamie's beer and taking a long pull. "But I have to admit it feels better to let all of the anger go. Things aren't healed, but they are better."

Jamie closed the tiny gap between them, "Wouldn't it be nice if by the time we are ready to go public and make things more official, your father was out of jail and able to participate in some of that."

Eddie turned to look up at Jamie, "What like a wedding?" she asked. "Yeah of course that would be great but I don't know if I even want to get married in the traditional sense."

Jamie's eyebrows crawled into his hairline, Eddie didn't want to get married? Jamie pulled back from her, his body showing hurt before it registered in his brain. "But I thought we loved each other?" Oh, boy, did those pathetic words really cross his mind then come out of his mouth?

Eddie turned again and looked up at Jamie's blue eyes, "We do, Lambchop," Eddie said quickly. "Oh, Jamie, I'm sorry. I meant marriage in the traditional sense like a white dress and my Dad giving me away. I see us having something down at the pier or under the arch in the park, just us and Danny and a friend of mine, something small and intimate and special." Eddie reached up to caress Jamie's face.

Jamie smiled and leaned into her touch, "That would be beautiful, Eddie. A sunset wedding with the russet sun on your hair, beautiful...Just close family and a few friends, no one that you didn't feel comfortable with being there." Jamie cupped Eddie's cheek and kissed her. He understood her family circumstances made Eddie very skittish of large family driven events, their wedding day, whenever it came, would be the happiest day of her life even if he had to make a few sacrifices. That was perhaps the greatest thing about his relationship with Eddie, her happiness was enough for him and the other way around as well.

Eddie sighed into his kiss opening her mouth to allow him entry. She hadn't been very open to his advances since losing the baby, but today felt different. Just as Jamie slid his hands inside her top, longing to feel the weight of her ample breasts in his hands, his cell rang. At first, Jamie ignored it but it rang again.

"You better get that, it might be important, even your family isn't the incessant," Eddie whispered pulling back.

Jamie reached for his phone, "It's my sister. Hey Erin…"

Jamie listened to Erin describe Danny's injuries. "Is he going to be okay?"

Eddie sat up and put her hand on Jamie's back, another incident with is family that would keep them separated. If this was serious though, she was going to hold him to his word.

Jamie hung up the phone and looked at Eddie, "Danny was beaten while he was attempting to catch the serial killer. He rescued the girl but he's in the hospital, cuts, bruises, and broken bones."

"Oh, my God, Jamie!" Eddie gasped. "Do you need to go to the hospital?"

"No, Erin said he's going to be released and that Linda is kind of put out with him so the rest of the family is clearing out too. I'll check on him tomorrow."

Eddie could feel Jamie tensing up, breaking their romantic mood. "Tell me," she requested.

Jamie took a breath, "Every time I get a call like that, Danny got hurt or Dad or even Pop...It's Joe all over again. I'm back in that moment on that day and I can't seem to separate the feelings. It is so incredibly scary, even in the hospital when...I was with Joe partially too, not just you. I know I need to stop it..."

Jamie leaned back frustrated. Eddie took in their beer bottles to throw away giving him a little space. "You want to go to bed?" she asked.

Jamie sighed, "I don't know, Eddie. Do you think we'll ever have a week or even a day without something going wrong?"

"No," Eddie replied leaning over and rubbing Jamie's chest. "We're cops, you have a big family, there is always going to be something, that's why being together is so important. When is your first session?"

"Thursday," Jamie replied. "Apparently she's terrific at grief and acceptance so hopefully she'll straighten me out."

"She?" Eddie asked.

"Eddie, come on," Jamie laughed. "I love you."

"I was just kidding, gosh," Eddie sighed. She wanted to make love to him, she missed him. Slowly Eddie turned and pulled Jamie down towards her. "Thank you for all you've done for me since everything happened with Dad. I needed you and you were there. I promise you, while you are working on your grief over Joe, I will be there. If you want me on the couch next to you or if you need space. I will be there."

Jamie stroked Eddie's long hair as she leaned up to begin kissing him. Eddie's hands roamed his muscled arms and chest, Jamie pulled back. "We can't Eddie, the doctor…he didn't say it was okay. He said we had to wait."

"I feel fine and I need you, Jamie," Eddie whispered. "Please…make love to me."

Jamie looked into her eyes shaking his head at her. As much as Jamie wanted to give in he knew doing so would be dangerous.

"Not yet babe, I promise it'll be worth the wait." Jamie lifted Eddie onto his lap slipping his strong arms around her waist.

He leaned in kissing her softly gently rubbing her stomach under her shirt.

Eddie sighed needing him, wanting him fully. Instead she lay her head on his chest letting him rub her stomach while she listened to his heart beating for her. "Eddie you know I want to right? I just the doctor said..."

She nodded knowing what the doctor said hearing him plain as day. "I know Jamie, I just need you."

Jamie tightened his arms around her kissing her head lovingly, "I know babe I need you too."

With Eddie in his arms Jamie stretched his legs out across the couch repositioning Eddie so she lay over him clasping his arms under her shirt. Jamie's hands caressed her back, his skin burning hers. "When we do, Eddie…I promise you it'll be so wonderful. I just can't do that and know I'll hurt you. If we want a family someday…with you."

Eddie leaned up and smiled, "I already have a family with you." Eddie leaned back in Jamie's arms thinking about all that has happened since they admitted their love. They had up and downs, but they had each other, she hoped they always would.


	26. All the News That's Fit to Click

Eddie stood up with a roasted chicken in her hands. They had a very interesting week and she was glad to have some downtime with her boyfriend. All week she had planned to make this Hungarian chicken dish for her and Jamie. She chilled a bottle of wine and had even made purchase of a cute little nightie.

She knew her Jamie would be feeling a little low about the dead reporter. They had tried their best to get him to talk to them, to get him to open up, but his arrogant attitude got in the way. Personally, Eddie had no guilt over it.

Eddie set her table carefully, then waited until Jamie arrived for dinner. He was over a half hour later late and Eddie was beginning to worry. Finally, Jamie appeared and smiled when he saw the table. "Hey, sorry, I'm late, traffic was insane."

"Yeah," Eddie replied. "Well, go change, sit back and relax. Dinner is ready and we can talk or…" Eddie slid her arms around Jamie's neck. "Not talk."

"Eddie…" Jamie sighed.

"No, no, I saw Dr. Landon today and he gave me a clean bill of health so we are back in the love making business, presuming of course you still want me."

Jamie pulled Eddie up against him, "Of course I do and I want your chicken Let me was the stink off of me, I'll be all yours."

While Jamie showered Eddie plated their food. She wanted him to open up a little about the reporter's death but now she was too tempted at the thought of a reunion to risk bringing it up and pushing Jamie back into his foul mood.

"Oh this smells so good, sweetheart." Jamie sat down at their small table as Eddie poured their wine and sat down across from him. Jamie offered grace then began to eat. "This is so good. I didn't know you could cook like this."

"I can only make five things," Eddie laughed. "This is one of my grandmother's recipes, the one I'm named for Edit. She taught my mother and my mother taught me. It was one of the things she felt was really important to pass onto me so when she found out she was sick, she started to teach me."

Jamie smiled, "And you learned it very well, honey, really."

Jamie knew how hard it was for Eddie to share these memories of her mother. He hoped that one day soon he would be able to get her to open up more. Today he'd been to see his therapist for the second time. He wasn't scheduled, he'd gone in as an emergency after Lorenzo Colt was shot in their RMP. It was just too close to being him or Eddie. The man was dressed like a cop, he was in their car…it was too close to home for him to feel comfortable.

Even after only two sessions, Jamie felt like he was coming to terms with his fear of loss. The doctor had also mentioned that his relationship with Eddie couldn't be healthy unless she accepted the losses in her life, mainly her parents.

Eddie smiled, "I know that this was a tough week for you. Any time something like this happens, a cop killer…"

"A cop killer is a tough week for all of us," Jamie replied. "Every dead cop is not Vinny or Joe, their killers are locked up and you do not have a target on your heart because we ride together. I have to realize that too. Those deaths happened because they happened, I don't have the power to influence that."

Eddie took a bite from her plate, "No, no you don't," she agreed. "You need to feel your lose but they aren't your fault. I just wish I was around then, that I was there to hug you and snuggle you when those things happened, like we did after…"

Jamie smiled, "What did the doctor say today besides that you're clear?"

"That he didn't see any physical reason that I lost the baby, so that it must have been something particular to that pregnancy and we are free to try again."

Jamie smiled, "I think that trying again is best left for now, don't you?"

Eddie nodded, "Oh yes, I'm not ready to get fat and swollen and cry all the time, just not ready for that."

Jamie stood to help Eddie clear, "When the time is right." He punctuated that with a kiss and returned to his quiet brood as he helped wash the dishes.

"Okay, spill it. I know it's not just the cop killing thing that's got you in this mood, what is it?" Eddie laid a gentle hand on Jamie's back.

Jamie sighed, turning to face her. "It was our RMP, the perp shot him in our RMP but do we get to look into things more than just begging that idiot reporter to give us a name, but not so we could pursue it, so we could hand it up the ladder. I went to Harvard, you went to Brandeis and still we are the lap dogs and people that never even saw the inside of a college are giving the orders."

There it was, his frustration over his lack of promotion again. Eddie understood that, perhaps she could eventually help. She made a mental note to try to find a Rabbi of her own, that would help her and Jamie…she'd never do it without him.

"I know." Eddie rubbed Jamie's back. "It is frustrating especially with Danny ribbing on you so much. You are a good cop, you are so so smart honey…one day you will get that nod and they'll wonder why they waited so long. Come on, tonight is a special night, don't get down now."

Eddie pulled Jamie close and kissed him. "Why don't you go get into bed, rest and relax, I have a surprise."

Jamie laughed, "You are always full of those."

Jamie turned down their bed while Eddie changed into her new nightie. Pink with black lace around the cup and hem. It was her way of sparking up their sex life after putting it on hiatus. When Eddie stepped into the bedroom, she expected Jamie to gasp or react but he remained still. Eddie stepped closer to the bed and noticed a soft snore. He hadn't slept well since the shooting, now it was all over, he could finally rest. Eddie slid into bed and curled up next to Jamie laying her had on his bare chest. She softly kissed his nose, "There's always tomorrow. I love you."

There was no verbal response but Eddie swore she felt Jamie' arms tighten around her body, returning her love and her desire with just the simplest of gestures. Sometimes, that was all you needed.

 **A/N: Coming next week, the Pillow Talk for one of my favorite episodes of Season Six – With Friends Like These. I plan at least two perhaps three installments for this episode which will explore Jamie's emotions about the illness and death of Jenny Strong. I hope to have Season Six wrapped before Season Seven begins. Would you like another vacation hiatus between seasons?**

 **Thank you to everyone for your continued support.**


	27. With Friends Like This - A

"I cannot believe that woman!" Eddie ranted over a Stromboli and bottle of soda. "I mean did she just get fired from some other job and wake up thinking that it would be a good idea to get work screwing over the mentally ill? And then to put the blame on us!"

"We do have the blame though," Jamie replied abandoning his dinner. "If not the blame then at least the obligation. She was right, we are the ones that come into contact with these poor people, like we did today. Another set of officers out there and she's in jail, shot or worse."

Eddie stood and slid her arms around Jamie's waist. "She was lucky it was you, Jamie. You find a way to talk to people that make them feel safe. She trusted you, honey and you made a hard situation that much easier."

Jamie turned and tucked Eddie's head under his chin. "You were something too," Jamie replied then laughed a little. "Touch that horn and I'm gonna feed you the steering wheel. Really? And he believed you which was more hysterical."

"Yeah, well I have an aversion to rude, loud cabbies that act like overgrown little boys," Eddie replied. "You barely ate, come back to the table."

"I wanted a beer," Jamie replied and pulled the drink from the fridge.

They returned to their dinner and Jamie tried to turn his attention to other things. "What would you say to a trip upstate this weekend? There's a nice bed and breakfast, the leaves are just starting to turn. Might be nice to relax a little."

"Oh, Jamie, that sounds so nice," Eddie sighed. "If this place has a spa and a hot tub I'm in."

"I'll check," Jamie replied. "You deserve it honey, we have been through a few things, this secrecy is really tense for us both. I'm working so hard though."

"I know you are," Eddie replied. "And I am so proud of you Jamie."

Jamie smiled, "Finish up dinner, I have a couple of calls to make." It was clear to Eddie that Jamie was still struggling with the Strong's situation. She would take care of that for him later. Eddie cleaned up the kitchen and started for the bedroom. "I really appreciate you looking into it," she heard Jamie say softly. "Anything you need, I am there. I promise, I know you suck at case law."

Jamie's laugh peeled out of the bedroom, "Talk to you soon." Jamie hung up as Eddie entered the bedroom.

"We're all set Friday, Saturday, and Sunday at the Caldwell House Bed and Breakfast, ten minute from a top spa and no hot tub, but it does have a claw foot bath tub big enough for two." Jamie crossed the room and pulled Eddie in close so her legs were between his thighs.

"That is music to my ears," Eddie sighed. "What about dinner next week? How will you get out of that?"

"I'll say I am going upstate with a friend," Jamie replied. "I'll just leave off the girl part."

Eddie sighed, "You want to watch TV or go to bed?" She wanted to help Jamie destress but now that phone call was on her mind.

"I think I want to get into more comfortable clothes and snuggle with my beautiful girl."

Eddie forced a smile this time, "Me or whoever it was on the phone just now?"

Jamie's eyebrows shot up into his hair, "That…That was nothing, that was a guy I used to know in school I wanted to ask him about restaurants," Jamie lied. He didn't want her to know what he was thinking of doing until it was done. Eddie held him up to be idolized when he tried things like this, and he didn't want to let her down. "Eddie, God I'd never…I love you too much." Jamie tightened his hold. "Don't ever feel like that ever, please…"

Eddie sighed and let Jamie hold her tight, comforting herself with his words. "I'm sorry, we both had a rough few days."

Jamie changed into sweats and laid down on the bed with Eddie inside of his arms. Carefully he stroked her long blonde hair, "I love you so much…" Eddie whispered to Jamie. "I heard that call and…things are still so secretive, I got scared."

"I know. I know you did, I do too when you do training with other cops. No one but Danny knows about us and thank God he's kept his yap shut until we're ready. You know what I was thinking but he'll say no…"

Eddie played with the little patch of hair on Jamie's chest, "What and who?"

"The NYPD needs more mental health training, like we have the panels on race and sex and religion, we need a specialty panel for that, a training course and all of it. Last year, you were mad at me so we didn't talk about it, my Dad lost a really good friend and a great cop because he didn't know how to deal with an EPD. He had the guy stunned, the man fell in front of a car and died so the cop drank himself stupid and spun out on the JRP. Those men could be alive today but my Dad, he won't go for it."

"Why not?" Eddie asked continuing her hypnotic chest massage. "It's a great idea."

"It's my idea," Jamie replied. "He'll never take an idea from me or Danny and put it to use. He's so afraid of showing favoritism. He's so afraid of appearing unfair he's…"

"Unfair," Eddie finished for him. "I know that you hate it, but you never know he might surprise you honey."

Jamie kissed Eddie's head, thinking over and over again about Jenny Strong, her father, his father…He has a family if things went south, the Strongs had to rely on a city that wasn't willing to help them, that was too busy…Jamie knew Eddie thought this too when he felt her tears.

"What's wrong, baby?" Jamie asked holding her close

"I know how they feel," Eddie replied. "I know how it feels when there is nowhere to turn and you have to just hope for the best every day and know you won't get it. After my Mom died, my dad tried but he drank heavily. She wasn't gone a year before women started showing up. I was the only child, my mom's family was in Serbia, my dad didn't have family…I know it's a smaller scale, but I feel for Mr. Strong. He's got this pain and burden to carry and no place to put it. I so wanted us to be able to help him Jamie, I really wanted us to be able to help him."

Jamie sat up a bit pulling Eddie so he could rock her and let her know that time had passed. Eddie cursed to herself, she so wanted to be there for Jamie and here he was holding her. Funny how time changed plans, even moment to moment.

As Jamie let Eddie excise her emotions over the day, he smiled to himself thinking, "Perhaps we'll be able to help him after all."

 **A/N: Special thanks to Lawslave for the preview of this and all chapters of this series and to Yanks20 for helping me out when I got stuck on some dialogue. I must apologize for any mistakes I did not catch, I am not feeling well and my brain is a little foggy. I know I used that excuse in my last two updates but it's sadly still true.**

 **Next Update – May 14 – Eddie is angry with Jamie for his heroics and on May 15 – Jamie tries to turn a negative into a positive. But is Eddie proud or something else?**

 **Next Week – Eddie and Jamie discuss Nikki's friends suicide attempt and reveal some interesting things about their own pasts.**


	28. With Friends Like This - B

"Eddie, please stop," Jamie begged. "I said I was sorry. I couldn't just let them shoot her!"

Eddie stormed into the apartment and went straight to the bedroom closing the door.

Jamie sighed, this was the first time they had really come under fire in this way since getting together. Eddie had put herself in harm's way when she worked undercover, but Jamie had not been in the line of fire so to speak since they got together.

Jamie pushed the door open, "Do not talk to me, Reagan. I mean it. I do not want to hear your bleeding heart excuses as to why that was remotely a good idea!"

"Eddie, she is sick," Jamie sighed. "She was scared, you learned it at the academy too, you have a delusional schizophrenic, and all you have to do is play the role they put you in!" Jamie sighed. "I pretend I understand, she trusts me, no one gets hurt. No one got seriously hurt!"

"What if she lunged at you Jamie? You were standing right in the line of that knife, there was nothing we could have done to protect you."

Eddie began to undress slamming her jewelry on the dresser, tossing her clothes into the hamper, and vigorously applying her lotion before getting into bed.

Jamie sighed, "Eddie…"

"I'm tired, Jamie!" Eddie snapped. "I'm going to bed."

"Can't work talk this out, honey?" Jamie asked. "I realize you were scared…"

"Scared, try furious. I am furious with you! If it was a gun fight or something like that, where we didn't have a choice, or even an Op that was predictable or planned, okay, that's the job but this…You did it willingly!"

"So did you!" Jamie fired back. "I was against the undercover operation, it was not safe and you nearly died, I nearly lost you!"

"That was different!" Eddie fired back. "We talked it out first, and you weren't on board but you did support me. You did have at least a say and that was before we had all of this time, before we shared our baby!"

Jamie reached for Eddie but she slid away, "No, you aren't going to snuggle and cuddle it away, not tonight!"

All Jamie could do was let her be mad. He settled himself down and tried to sleep. He could feel Eddie's sobs but felt he had to respect her process. At some point Jamie fell asleep from sheer exhaustion only to be awakened later by Eddie's screams.

 _ **Jamie appeared alone turning to study his surroundings, spinning with each dancing shadow that jumped out at him. There were faces, so many faces of the men and women they had confronted, all of them stood laughing with knives.**_

 _ **Eddie called out to Jamie, "Why are you going alone? I'm here, don't go alone…wait for back up!" Jamie didn't answer. Instead he absently continued looking around, no fear just determination in his eyes.**_

 _ **A shadow jumped out from darkness, seemingly for no reason and grabbed Jamie around the waist so the officer couldn't fight back.**_

 _ **Eddie started to scream but nothing came out, she was frozen watching helpless as the shadows stabbed Jamie several times before disappearing.**_

 _ **With loud sobs from deep inside her Eddie ran to Jamie and knelt beside Jamie's lifeless body screaming in agony at the corpse of her lover and partner.**_

Eddie's screams jolted Jamie out of a dead sleep. He turned to see Eddie crying, tossing in her sleep. "Eddie!" Jamie shook her gently trying to wake her and free her from the horrific dream trapping her.

"Jamie…Jamie, no!" Eddie cried. "Don't leave me…no…"

"Eddie, I'm here. Wake up, baby! Wake up!"

Eddie shot up gasping for air. "Hey, breathe easy. Breathe easy," Jamie soothed. "I'm here, I'm here, sweetheart."

Jamie pulled Eddie closer as she covered her face and cried, "You're here…You're okay…"

"I'm fine, baby," Jamie soothed. "I'm fine, I didn't get hurt. I didn't get hurt now or before, I am fine, I promise."

"Don't let go!" Eddie sobbed. "I'm sorry I was so hateful. I was scared and I…we can really talk it out tomorrow as partners but can you just…?"

"Hold you near and take all the scary away?" Jamie asked kissing her head. "I can do better than that. Let me go for a minute, okay? Just a minute, I'll be right back."

Jamie slid out of bed to get Eddie a glass of water, "Here, you hold this…take a couple sips." Jamie removed his shirt and lowered the band of his sweatpants. "You see? I'm fine, not a mark on me. I am fine."

Eddie put the water down and crawled closer to Jamie, She laid her head on his chest and rubbed her cheek on the soft skin there. "I'm sorry, I was awful. I'm sorry."

Jamie sighed, "No, it's all right, you were scared. Tomorrow, as partners, we'll work this out, for now…come back to bed."

Jamie pulled Eddie toward him and began to stroke her back. "You are soaked. You want to take a shower?"

"No," Eddie sniffled. "I want you to hold me. I can't…"

"Okay, all right," Jamie soothed. "I won't let you go, all right. I promise I won't let you go."

Eddie shut her eyes and tried to fall back to sleep. It was easier to doze with her head on Jamie's chest. The thumping of his heart and the warmth of his body a continual reminder that his death was just a dream and that he was here to hold her close and keep the horrors of life outside their little world, he had faced danger and he had survived…this time…

 **A/N: This one was mostly Jamko fluff, but since we don't get that on the show…here it is. Hope you all liked it, one more story for the episode tomorrow. Don't forget to leave your reviews, I like them almost as much as Jamko fluff…okay maybe they are equal. ;)**


	29. With Friends Like This - C

Eddie frantically paced the length of the apartment waiting for Jamie to come home. He'd texted her that he was going to see Jenny Strong's father and let him know that his contact upstate, the one she was jealous of for the briefest of moments, had gotten Jenny a bed at an excellent private hospital. Shortly after Jamie texted Eddie again, the message simply, "We were too late...Jenny is dead..." Then nothing. She hadn't heard a word from him since. Numerous calls and texts had gone unanswered. Eddie was climbing the walls.

Finally, at just before 11 pm, she heard the elevator ding and Jamie's key in the lock. Eddie ran to meet him with a giant hug throwing both her arms around his neck, "Oh Jamie, I was worried out of my mind. Where were you?"

Jamie brought his arms up and held Eddie, "I was at my Dad's. I'm sorry, I had to think and I started driving. Before I knew it I was in Brooklyn at the kitchen table pitching my father the EDP panel idea."

Eddie pulled back and smacked Jamie on the chest, "You could have called me."

"I know," Jamie sighed touching his forehead to hers. "I'm sorry if I worried you. After talking to that father today, my heart was just…I could not stand the idea this might happen again, I just couldn't…"

Eddie sighed, "Come sit, talk to me."

Eddie tried not to be upset that he went home to his father instead of her but the disappointment and some anger was evident on her face. Jamie took a seat beside her reaching for her hand but Eddie pulled it away.

"Eddie, please don't be mad I didn't mean to upset you. I couldn't stop thinking about Jenny and..." As he talked Frank's words about not being able to save every puppy in the pound came back.

Jamie looked at Eddie with his large blue grey eyes. "Those eyes, Reagan," Eddie sighed. "Those eyes are not always going to get you out of trouble." Eddie felt herself melting.

"I went to Dad and told him what happened," Jamie explained. "I told him how this young woman and her father that now has no one fell through the cracks. Eddie, I pitched him the idea and he wants me involved and heading it up, isn't that great!"

"It is really great, Jamie. I always thought your father should listen to you more," Eddie replied. "But let's table this for a minute and talk about the fact that someone you tried to help died by her own hand last night."

Jamie sighed, "I could spend time being sad and being angry, but that's only going to help me eventually feel better. I can turn this into a positive thing, to make sure it's not going to happen again. We are going to have panelists from all walks of life, lawyers, social services, NYPD, psychiatrists…"

"Jamie, I couldn't be more proud of you," Eddie smiled. "Really, I can't. I just don't want you to bottle this stuff up like I did. No, you didn't shoot her, but she meant something to you."

Jamie reached to wrap his arms around Eddie, this time she let him. "You mean something to me, I just found her situation sad. Was it a shock to hear she killed herself yes, but let's face it Eddie, she's out of her misery. I spoke to Dad about services for her father, to help him cope with the loss. I just want to help make sure than when we encounter these folks we are able to give them a chance and not pump them full of lead because we aren't trained to understand their reality."

Eddie moved so she was leaning against Jamie's chest, "I'm sorry I got so upset, Jamie but I really need to talk about this. I am incredibly proud of you and I'm so glad your father is letting you run with this idea, you'll develop it better than anyone, it's your heart, but it bothered me that you…It didn't bother me you went to see your Dad you are so lucky to be able to do that, but it bothered me you didn't call. I really bothered me, I felt like a little like an afterthought. I know it's only because we're still a secret but…"

Jamie reached for her hand shaking his head furiously. "No don't ever think like that Eddie. I love you so much."

When Jamie tried to brush her cheek Eddie dropped her gaze and looked down at her lap.

"Eddie, look at me, you are so much more, you mean the world to me, and I trust you most in the world. I just ended up by my Dad's I swear," Jamie attempted to catch her eyes.

Eddie kept her gaze down still holding his hand thinking over what he said.

When she didn't answer, Jamie cupped her cheeks forcing Eddie to look up. "I'm sorry I made you feel less, I promised I never would do that and I did."

Jamie's eyes met hers his own apologetic sparkling crystal blue that made Eddie's heart race. "I don't know why I'm feeling so emotional today," Eddie sighed. "I didn't hear the news you did and I'm acting like a big baby."

Jamie played with a strand of her hair, "You've been through a lot lately, sweetheart, really. This weekend is going to be the best thing for you, you'll see. When we are done I hope you never doubt yourself and my love for you again…" Jamie leaned in and gave Eddie a little kiss. "But if you do, I'll remind you."

Eddie reached up and cupped Jamie's cheek, "You don't have to. All I have to do is look at you. I'm sorry…I…"

"Stop," Jamie commanded gently. "Let's just sit and be grateful for what we have, our lives, our sanity, and most of all each other. I can't do this without you, Eddie. I don't want to."

Eddie moved so she was sitting in Jamie's lap, "I don't want to either…Kiss me, Reagan."

Jamie was happy to oblige.

 **A/N: I hope you enjoyed the final installment for this episode. I had fun writing this one, it was one of my favorite episodes from this season.**

 **To Guest - This story takes place during the episode With Friends Like This - Season Six Episode Four. It occurs after Jamie talks the knife out of Jenny's hands, but before the scene with Jamie and Eddie at the precinct in the break room. This series assumes they are in a secret romance, so we are seeing things as they would occur in their apartments if they were in love and seeing each other. I hope that helped. Thanks for reading.**

 **Next Update – May 20** **th** **– Single installment – Jamie and Eddie discuss college angst.**


	30. Backstabbers

"I'm sorry," Eddie replied putting her feet on Jamie's lap. "You didn't think that girl was on the up and up and I pushed it."

Jamie pulled one of Eddie's socks off. They had puppies on them. "Really, Janko? Aren't you just a little too old for furry things on your socks? Especially when they actually have fur on them."

"Don't judge me," Eddie pouted playfully as she pulled her leg back only to have Jamie tickle her foot and pull off her other sock. "Your feet are really hot," he laughed. "And I love the little zebra bit you have going on here. When did you do that?"

"Had it done earlier today, I had to decompress a little bit," Eddie replied. "Being back at the college it brought back some memories."

"I bet it did," Jamie smiled. "Boys swarming all around the most beautiful girl on campus, pledging the best sorority. You were the girl that was untouchable to guys like me."

"For a year or so yeah," Eddie replied. "Then things hit the fan with my father and things didn't go great after that. The kids were merciless, a lot of them had families that lost money in my dad's scheme, it was really tough."

"How tough?" Jamie raised his eyebrow. Eddie rarely talked about college or much of her past. He knew her mother died when she was a few days shy of sixteen and that her father was arrested while she was in school but that was it. Jamie never felt it was good to push her to talk about things she felt uncomfortable talking about.

"Death threats on my door, no one wanted to be my roommate…" Eddie confessed. "Then there were the guys."

Jamie felt his back go up, "Oh, Eddie…If you don't want to talk about this."

"They would approach me and some would demand attentions from me," Eddie replied. "No one ever took it that far but it was ridiculous."

Jamie sighed and moved to hug Eddie to him. "So that's why you were so gung-ho to believe this girl. You were that girl."

Eddie nodded, "I had no idea how hard it was going to be. One day, I got up to go to class and there was a dead possum on my doorstep. I screamed and finally this kid, his name was Stuart…He came running and removed it but I was terrified after that. I called my dad and he said that he would take care of it for me. That was the last time I trusted him."

Jamie dropped a kiss on Eddie's head, "What did he do?"

"Pulled me out of school," Eddie replied. "He had me transferred to John Jay which was fine for what I wanted to do but still…"

"Well he was trying to protect you, that's good," Jamie replied. "And if I had been there…"

"But you weren't, but you are now." Eddie hugged Jamie tight and kissed him. "What about you? I bet you were a stud in college?"

"Just the opposite actually," Jamie laughed. "I was the sheltered youngest brother in a big Irish Catholic family. It was daunting being on my own that far away from my family. I was scared to death and stayed in my room for almost a month."

"What happened?" Eddie asked curious about this part of Jamie's life.

"Spencer," Jamie replied. "My other roommate washed out and Spencer transferred in. He was just the right blend of calm and adventure and slowly I started to make friends. Then I met Sydney and we started dating steady."

Eddie rubbed Jamie's arm, "It had to be hard losing her, having all that history."

"Oh, yeah, it hurt big time," Jamie admitted. "She was there for a lot of things but it was the beginning of the end when Joe died. I was a total mess, I was so sick…I did nothing but vomit for days on end, the shock was…I needed her."

"But?" Eddie turned and began to stroke Jamie's hair.

"But nothing, she wasn't the nurturing type. "She held me, she loved me, but it wasn't what I needed in the long run. It was the beginning of the end, when I started to investigate Joe's death…She couldn't cope, there really was nothing left by the time she decided to go."

"Sounds like we both had a rough go in college but we came out all the better. I hope that for Nikki's friend too. That she can come back next semester more sure of who she is and what she's about."

"That's what college is for, learning our niche," Jamie replied. "I'm just sorry that you had a hard time honey. I wish that you had a better experience, I'm just glad you didn't end up like Chrissy."

Eddie sighed, "I almost did. Three weeks into John Jay, I had a bag of sleeping pills I got from different clinics and I planned to swallow all 40 pills. I stood in the bathroom, I put the pills in my hand, and I looked in the mirror. I saw my mother's face looking back at me and somehow from deep inside I found the strength to throw those pills down the toilet. That was the day I decided for sure to become a cop. I thought of it when I got into trouble after mom died, but that day in that bathroom, I made the choice."

Jamie tightened his arms around Eddie, "I'm so glad you did, and I thank God or your Mom or whoever was up there that made you throw out those pills. I love you so much Eddie."

Eddie sighed and snuggled up to Jamie. She had never confessed that to anyone before and was so glad that she told Jamie what happened that day. "What do you say we call Nikki and see if she wants to hang out this weekend? We aren't going to tell her but maybe just spending time with us as partners and friends…"

Jamie dropped a kiss on Eddie's head, "I think it's a great idea. She needs a strong, younger female role model. If that's you…I would be so happy. It'll make it easier too when we do go public to have Nikki and Danny in our corner."

"How is therapy going?" Eddie asked, Jamie had been updating her but was quiet the last couple of weeks.

"It is going well, in a few weeks, we might go visit Joe's grave and tell him about us…she says that'll be a big step. I'm ready for some big steps."

Eddie smiled and tilted her head to say she wanted a kiss, Jamie leaned down and captured her lips as she whispered, "So am I."

 **A/N: I hope you all enjoyed Jamie and Eddie's little jaunt down college memory lane. We get so little background on Eddie and not even that much on Jamie so I had fun creating these little stories for them. Thanks to everyone who is reviewing and reading this story and my other stories. I enjoy writing but I also enjoy hearing from my readers and seeing that little counter go up.**

 **Next Update – May 27** - **29** **th** **– Jamie and Eddie struggle to keep their relationship alive when Eddie is unable offer Jamie defense after an incident on the job.**


	31. Rush to Judgment - A

Eddie turned over and woke when her hand fell on cool sheets where Jamie was supposed to be lying. It had taken her over two hours to calm him to sleep and it seemed all for nothing, he was already awaking probably pacing the length of the apartment. With a sigh, Eddie got up and pulled on one of Jamie's old sweatshirts, there was an early fall chill in the air and the landlord hadn't sent up the heat yet. Eddie padded towards the living room, the moonlight cast a shadow over Jamie as he sat drinking a bottle of Scotch.

Eddie approached carefully, Jamie had been coiled like a rattler ready to strike earlier. She hoped that their little quiet time together had calmed that part of his ire. "Was that the full bottle of Johnny Walker Blue you Grandpa got you for your birthday?"

"Yes," Jamie almost hissed. "Problem?"

"Yeah," Eddie replied. "You are drinking that with a tour tomorrow."

"Modified assignment, not much to do actually." Jamie took another sip. "I can't believe this Eddie. I can't believe it."

"I know, baby," Eddie sighed sitting down beside Jamie and taking the bottle from him. "I know, and I am so so sorry that I can't fully back you up. My back was turned and I only saw the end results."

Jamie sighed, "It's not you, it's my father. I'm his son and he won't even listen to me express my feelings and my outrage that once again because of who I am, because of my NAME I am the target of some loudmouth glory hounds anger."

"I know all about being judged by who your father is," Eddie sympathized. "Jamie what is really important is what you are and you are a good cop. You said you were trying to protect a mother and child and I believe that. I know in my heart that's true and the truth will come out, good or bad it always does."

Jamie turned and laid his head on the arm of the couch. It had long been a bone of contention for him, since the day of his first IA investigation. As the youngest, he always had his family's support, so his father not having his back was foreign to him. Now, it was way too familiar.

Eddie reached out and stroked Jamie's forehead, "Take this time to study like you said, sweetheart. You are smarter than most of the people on the force, maybe that all 35,000 of them. Study hard and you will pass that test, then no one and no thing, not even the Reagan name can stop you." Eddie hoped he'd find her words encouraging.

Jamie sighed, "I will, I'll use the time I just. It hurts you know. It hurts that I went there, I wanted to just talk this out and if I were any other cop, his door would be open. It's because I'm his son…"

"Jamie, you have to let that go. Your Dad is not going to change, he's too old and set in his ways. Maybe…you'll feel better if you distance yourself for a while. Try to separate your father from the PC."

"I did that, I went to talk to my father and all he wanted to do was go to a damn movie!" Jamie sat up and put his head in his hands. Eddie moved and slid her arms around him. "Maybe you should have gone to the damn movie, but Jamie the fact remains he is how he is, you can't change him or control him, all you can control is how you react when he gets like this. Don't let it eat at you. It's pretty outside, why don't we go for a midnight walk huh?"

With Eddie rubbing his back and sitting so close Jamie felt less alone, but he knew when it came time for her to testify tomorrow she was going to have to say she didn't see anything. "Eddie…"

"I know," Eddie soothed. "I know you feel alone and I know you are scared, I was too when it was me. You couldn't back me up then with a testimony either, you didn't see what happened. But you did give me some advice and I took it. Take my advice and bide your time. This will resolve itself, you didn't do anything. Don't start believing you did."

"This a nightmare," Jamie moaned finally allowing himself to lie against Eddie's softness and take a deep breath. "If I get found guilty of wrongdoing, the personal lawsuit will ruin us. You'll carry a stigma with you and…"

"Jamie, if it comes to that we'll deal with it together. Let's stop all this fussing and this worrying and just relax. You want me to run you a tub? Fix you something to eat?"

Jamie shook his head, "No go and get the paper. I think there's a showing of Chinatown at that all night theater, we can go see a movie."

"A movie?" Eddie laughed. "It's two am."

"So what? It's impulsive, something I'm usually not except with you, get the paper…"

Eddie searched the listing and sure enough there was a showing at 2:35. "Well the let's go," Jamie said getting up to change his clothes. Eddie had to smile, she did like the impulsive Jamie and if this was how he was going to be able to cope with the stress of all this, far be it from her not to join in and have fun.

 **A/N: Personally, I think Frank really needs to back up his kids a little more when they come to him and not constantly remind them of his position. Also, I don't know for a fact New York has an all night theater but it is the city that never sleeps so I took a little latitude. Special thanks to Lawslave for previewing this and all the other chapters for me. I think I got all the mistakes but forgive me if I did not.**

 **Next Update – Tomorrow – Eddie reacts to Jamie's comment about finding a partner he can trust.**


	32. Rush to Judgment - B

When Jamie arrived home after the ill-fated meeting in the bar, he expected Eddie to be waiting to lay into him again, but instead he heard soft sniffles and the sound of drawers being open and closed. "Eddie." Jamie called out heading to their bedroom.

Eddie had basically given up her own apartment, staying at Jamie's since, as he put it, his apartment was 45 square feet larger. Still, he kept paying her rent for a day just like this, for a day when things between her and Jamie would turn sour and fade. She knew he only claimed to love her, if he really loved her, more people besides Danny would know about them. Eddie brushed away the tears that kept falling down her cheeks. It hurt so much for Jamie to think she'd sell him out. If he didn't trust her with something like this, how could he trust her at all?

"Hey, Eddie," Jamie said with a hint of surprise in his voice, his eyes falling on the suitcases. "What's all this?"

"This, is me going home, Jamie," Eddie replied. "This is me going back home so that you can find a partner you can trust, a girlfriend you can trust, someone you can trust and that won't sell you out like you think I did."

"Eddie, honey…" Jamie sighed. "I was just angry. That prosecutor…"

Eddie held up her hand, "No, you can't do that. You don't get to come in where I'm having a drink, give me that jealous look because I'm sitting with another guy, and now get to blame it on your father or the prosecutor or whoever. No!"

Eddie threw more items into the open suitcase. "It is obvious Jamie, that you do not trust me. You once said that you would not lie for me if I got jammed up like this, that if I did something that got someone hurt or killed you would not lie, well I did not lie today. I told the truth, I said I didn't see anything good or bad out there! That's all I said!"

"I know," Jamie sighed. "I shouldn't have asked you lie or expected it just because things are personal now. That was my mistake!"

"You're damn right," Eddie replied. "And this…" She moved her hand back and forth between the two of them. "Was mine."

Jamie felt his heart stop for a few seconds before it started to beat again. "Eddie, this was NOT a mistake, we are not a mistake! How could you even think that? We made a child together, we are making a life together."

"A secret life," Eddie replied. "Jamie, I understand how hard this is for you, believe me, I do. It hurts so much to see you feeling like this, my heart is breaking for you, but I can't support you and hold your hand or anything because you won't let me go as a partner and let me IN as a girlfriend."

Jamie looked down at the ground and shifted his weight foot to the other. "I can't," Jamie replied. "I really can't, I am working hard and I'm going to more appointments since I'm on modified duty. This is just another example of the things that can happen on the job, Eddie. Things that I can't…"

"Control," Eddie finished for him. "I am not a thing, Jamie. You can't control me. I am supposed to be your girlfriend, your support system, your partner in every sense of the word. You want me to be that in every sense of the word, on and off the job, that's what you said. Things get tough though and you're ready to run for the hills. You don't trust me."

"Eddie, I was angry, I didn't mean what I said. I shot off at the mouth. Yes, it drove me crazy you were sitting with another guy and yes it bothered me when you told me you had to look out for yourself!"

"Looking out for myself is looking out for you too! If you get suspended or terminated, how are we supposed to survive? I have to keep my job, I have to support us until you get something else. Didn't that cross your mind?"

Jamie was silent again. "No…It never crossed my mind that I could lose everything, my job, my name, and the woman I love…"

Jamie felt like crying but bit it back.

Eddie felt badly for hurting Jamie, she felt like she kicked him when he was already down, but this had to handled. "You love me? Really?"

"Eddie, don't do this," Jamie begged. "I love you, you know I do."

"Well, I don't feel loved when you accuse me of selling you out, and I don't feel loved when you yell at me instead of listening to me."

Jamie reached out for Eddie but she side stepped him. "I am so sorry you are going through this, Jamie. I am sorry that you are getting the short end of every stick in your career and I am really sorry that I couldn't stand up for you. I wanted to but we are in a relationship, or we are supposed to be in one and I have to think about myself and cover my ass so I can be all you need if this goes badly. You take that as being untrusting, I'm sorry for that too." Eddie closed her suitcase. "Get out of my way I'm going home."

"You are home," Jamie whispered. "Please Eddie. I am so sorry I flew off at you. I came home wanting to apologize."

"I accept your apology, but at least for tonight, I need my space. I'm going back to my place but…" Eddie put her bag down. "I'll leave my stuff here. When this dies down we can talk and decided if this is really worth fighting for or if we should just call it friends with benefits and see other people."

Eddie leaned up on her tip toes and kissed Jamie's forehead. "I love you, Jamie. I'll see you at the precinct."

With that, Eddie left leaving Jamie staring at the door long after she'd gone through it.

 **A/N: Uh oh…Is this the end of Jamko as we know it? Eddie is pretty hurt and Jamie's anger is misdirected. Will they be able to get it back on track. Final update for this episode is tomorrow.**

 **Next Update – Tomorrow night – Jamie and Eddie try to get the train back on the tracks with the help of Dermont Mulroney.**


	33. Rush to Judgment - C

"You unpacked me?" Eddie asked surprised as she and Jamie entered the house. They had made up their professional relationship on tour that day and sealed it with beers and mozzarella sticks after work.

Jamie nodded, "I couldn't stand seeing a packed suitcase. I left your private things for you to fix."

Eddie smiled at him and slid her arms around his waist, "I meant what I said, honey. I am so sorry that I said you needed to find partner you could trust, I was just so upset…"

"I know you were," Jamie whispered. "We were both very upset. I took some things out on you that had very little to do with you or us. I'm so sorry."

Eddie took Jamie's hand and led him to sit down next to her. "Did you talk to your father again? Did you try to make him understand?"

Jamie shook his head, "You think Danny and I are thick, we're like paper compared to that Irish mutt."

Eddie reached out to rub Jamie's leg. "Are you sure we're good? I left you when you really needed me and I…"

"I think I really needed you to leave," Jamie confessed. "I think I needed to feel that old adage, you don't know what you've got until it's gone. I know how lucky I am, Eddie. I love you so much and what really hurt was you thinking I didn't."

"I know you do," Eddie sighed. "I know you do, I just want to be there. I wanted to be sitting outside that room and when you got done I wanted to put my arms around you. We still can't do that and I understand why, just times like this it's hard."

Jamie nodded his understanding, "It's over now, it's all over. We made up on the job, and now we get to make up at home. You know what that means…"

Eddie's eyes lit up.

A few hours later Eddie rested her head of Jamie's shoulder sighing as the final scenes of the Wedding Date played out on the screen- the expected 'I love you', the 'perfect kiss' and the 'start of ever after'. After nearly twenty minutes of pouring through Eddie's endless DVD collection she had finally selected his punishment.

"I told you so..." Eddie grinned popping a sweet in her mouth.

"Okay...so you were right...it ended how every romantic comedy ends." Jamie laughed stroking her hair placing a kiss on her forehead. "But hey we learned something... "

"And what would that be?" Eddie grinned, turning to face him.

"Like Dermot Mulroney said...make up sex is the best." Jamie wiggled his eyebrows at Eddie.

"Oh is it?" Eddie asked.

Jamie smiled and pulled so Eddie was on his lap. "I understand if you don't…"

"It's not that," Eddie replied. "Honestly it isn't."

"What then?" Jamie was trying to gauge if she was still hurt by his actions or if she was just not in the mood.

"I don't like to plan sex," Eddie replied. "And if we are talking about having make up sex, we're planning it. If we're going to have sex, I just want you to start making those moves on me."

"Oh I see," Jamie laughed standing up quickly then suddenly pulling Eddie up and lifting her off her feet.

Eddie laughed, her eyes shining, long blond tresses tickling Jamie's arm.

Jamie carried Eddie to their bed and laid her down, "I am sorry I hurt you," he whispered. "Now I'll make it up to you, I promise."

Eddie licked her lips, waiting for Jamie to drop a kiss on them. She didn't have to wait long for his kiss or his touch. Jamie began to do both right away, gently and carefully touching every part of Eddie that he knew would get her to react.

The lovemaking took time, Jamie showed exceptional control making sure that he showed Eddie all that he'd made her doubt.

When it was over, Jamie held Eddie close, caressing her soft skin. She felt his tears on her hair and turned.

"What's wrong lambchop?" she asked softly while caressing his cheek gently.

Jamie tilted his head to look at her admiring how beautiful she was and thinking how lucky he was to have her in his life.

With a gentle smile, the one that made Eddie's knees weak in the knees, he simply kissed her lips. "Love you Eddie."

"I love you too, Jamie," Eddie whispered. "I don't want this to happen again. I don't want to hurt each other anymore, there's too much pain in the world. We need to make this place safe. I know we'll make more mistakes and I know it's illogical to think we'll never hurt one another again but…"

Jamie stopped Eddie's words with his kiss. "We promise not to hurt each other on purpose, that's all we can do. We can promise to always find out way back to each other. You belong right here, you fit perfect. I missed you so much when you weren't lying beside me."

"I didn't' sleep a wink all night," Eddie admitted. "Let's order Chinese, eat it in bed, and get a good sleep. You order, I'm going to shower."

Jamie smiled and watched as Eddie, as natural as could be walked to the bathroom for a hot shower. He called their usual Chinese place and ordered their dinner the padded to the kitchen for a bottle of cheap wine. When Eddie came out of the bathroom, Jamie pulled her close again holding her until the food arrived.

"You know," Eddie said as they sipped the wine and shared lo mein. "If this is how we make up, we need to fight more often."

"You think?" Jamie asked rubbing her shoulder. "Well, if we make a promise not to let the sun go down on our anger, that if we fight we make it up…all the way."

Eddie smiled and leaned up to kiss Jamie, "You got it, partner."

 **A/N: All is well in Jamko land and in this little world where they finally got together. I have no idea when the writers of the show will realize what we already know. Thanks for reading.**

 **Next Update – June 3 – Jamie and Eddie discuss the aftermath of her arrest and of course, the Bullit Mustang.**


	34. The Bullitt Mustang

"I can't believe you saw the actual Bullitt Mustang!" Eddie exclaimed looking at a picture on Jamie's phone and serving both Jamie and Danny beers before opening her own. "I loved that movie as a kid, I saw it over and over again with my Dad."

Danny took a long sip of his beer, "How is your old man doing in his new digs?"

Eddie smiled, "Dad's good, I got a letter from him the other day and it was good. He's working with new prisoners that come in helping them so…"

Eddie looked down and sighed, she did miss her father. Jamie rubbed her knee, "Well, maybe when he gets out we can have a screening of it here to get our families to know one another."

"Yeah, when is that going to happen, Kid?" Danny asked. "I don't mind keeping your secret but I know you won't be happy if you two keep hiding this."

Jamie nodded and looked at Eddie, "I know. I'm working through it and Eddie is standing by me. Once we do go public, I know I'll have the entire family's support."

Eddie was suddenly very quiet, Jamie looked at her "What's the matter honey?"

"I just realized that your Dad dressed me down in front of the entire tour the other day. Your Dad, my boyfriend's dad." Eddie turned twelve shades of red.

"The commissioner…" Jamie began but Eddie shook her head.

"That's crap and you know it, he's not two people, even if he wants to pretend he is, he's not. The commissioner is also your Dad. He's going to think I'm some terrible person that I did this and…"

Danny shook his head, "No, trust me Jamie already smoothed that over, the old man knows exactly why you did what you did and he's fine with it, he's okay with it, he'd probably have done the same thing in uniform. He's mad at Jamie."

"Me, what did I do?" Jamie asked, raising his eyebrow.

"The Judge," Danny replied. "I get you were sticking up for your partner, sticking up for your girl, but really. That's something I would do."

Jamie looked down, "Well maybe doing things like you would isn't such a bad thing. You got your gold shield, if I had that, I wouldn't have to sneak around with Eddie, it would be a non-issue."

"No it wouldn't, Jamie," Eddie spoke up. "Your fear about me getting hurt and you not being there won't magically go away because you have a detective shield."

Jamie nodded, "No, but it would force me away and rip off the Band-aid too." Jamie put his arm around Eddie. "It's like our family says, we can talk crap all day long. I can disagree with what Eddie did, but if someone else messes with her, they are messing with me."

Danny smiled, his kid brother was turning into an okay boyfriend after all. "Well, I'll leave you two love birds. Thanks for the beer. Eddie, next time pay the ticket, Harvard over there has money stashed all over this place."

Eddie laughed. "Good advice Danny. Drive safe." Eddie shut the door behind Danny and slid down behind it.

Jamie stepped over to her, "Hey, you all right honey?"

Eddie nodded "Yeah, I'm good. It was just a really weird week. It's worse that Dad's birthday is coming up and he's wanting me up for a visit but it's too far and I just feel icky going to see him in jail. He's not like the perps on the street, he was a good guy that did a really messed up thing."

Jamie pulled Eddie to her feet and into his arms, "I know, sweetheart. I know. Hey, if you want to go up and see him, I'll take you up Saturday."

Eddie shook her head, "I think I'll just call him. It's too hard, Jamie. It's just too hard."

Jamie nodded and laid his chin on Eddie's head, "I can't even imagine it, baby. But let's not dwell on it. I rented Bullitt, I have potato skins and wings from Sullivan's, and massage oil from that place in Chinatown."

"And I suppose you want a massage right?" Eddie laughed. "How's your back?"

"A little bit stiff, but I was thinking I'd give you one. You were the one that got arrested this week."

Eddie laughed and looped her arms around Jamie's neck. "You don't have to treat her like a perp," she mimicked his defending her. "You know, when you said that and you came down with me, behind me…I wasn't scared anymore. You made me feel so safe, gunning for that judge was just the gravy."

Eddie seductively licked her lips and leaned up for a kiss. "My handsome, sexy, knight in dark blue armor…"

Jamie ran his hands up Eddie's back eagerly returning her kiss, inhaling her taste and her scent. He lifted her into his arms, carrying her to their bedroom, the movie, snacks, massage oil, and arrest all forgotten while losing themselves in each other's arms.

Jamie stroked her back twenty minutes later while she lay against his bare chest. He loved the feel of her skin under his hand and the soft scent of lavender that came from body lotion.

"I can't wait to go public with you," Jamie whispered softly, letting his fingers knead her back.

Eddie took a deep breath giving him a smile. "Me too," she agreed

"I want to walk into Sunday dinner with you on my arm, so proud to call you mine. I know you have feeling about women and being possessed by men but..." 

"When it's you," Eddie admitted. "I don't mind when you say it. I actually like it when you get all macho and protective over me. It's something I haven't felt in a long time."

Jamie dropped a kiss on her head, and began suckling her neck.

"Jamie what are you doing?" Eddie laughed.

"Marking you," he replied.

"Don't mark me too well, I'll get teased," Eddie laughed.

"All the more reason," Jamie replied continuing his work. "If you get teased, I'll defend you."

Eddie turned the tables on him, flipping so he was underneath her. She gave him a long look at her body then slid off of him. "Where are you going?" Jamie whined.

"Potato skins," Eddie replied matter-of-factly as she left the room giving Jamie a really good view before disappearing to satisfy her hunger for food, knowing her hunger for Jamie would never be lost.

 **A/N: Already up to episode seven and we have more than fifteen weeks until the season seven premiere. I am hoping to begin Pillow Talks for each episode going up the next Saturday or Sunday following it. I plan to do a hiatus arc between season six and seven if the time permits. Hope everyone enjoyed this installment.**

 **Next Update – June 10** **th** **– Work once again interferes with Eddie and Jamie's personal life.**


	35. Unsung Heroes

Once again Jamie approached his apartment with apprehension. While Eddie assured him time and time again things were okay between them after yet another blow up over work, part of him was scared he'd find her packing her bags again or worse. After the drama of the day, Jamie needed Eddie more than anything. He held his breath as he opened the door relieved to find Eddie stretched out on the couch, sound asleep.

Jamie didn't want to wake her, he knew she had been tossing and turning the last few nights in the wake of their blow out. He could feel her unease but hesitated to hold her. Eddie had been struggling a bit since her father's birthday and all of the goings on with her administrative hearing. She had shied away from him a few times, Jamie wanted to give her space.

Tonight, was different. Jamie just learned that not only was his Sergeant facing mortality and having to leave the department without benefits to care for his family, but his own brother was being impersonated and stalked by a serial killer. Add to that, his father's embarrassment at Nikki's college, it made for a stressful week.

Carefully, Jamie brushed back Eddie's golden hair and kissed both her eyelids until they fluttered. "Hey, what time is it?" she asked groggy.

"A little after midnight," Jamie replied. "I was out to beers with Danny and we ran into Lieutenant Gormley of all people. It was a rough night."

"Did you get into trouble?" Eddie asked wiping sleep from her eyes. There was something unsettling in Jamie's demeanor.

"No, no it's not like that," Jamie replied. "Gormley let it go with a warning for me. It's Sergeant Mulvey that's in real trouble Eddie. He's sick, he's dying of cancer. That's why he was so reckless." Jamie hung his head. "I didn't see it, I didn't think to question it, I just lost my temper."

Eddie slid her arms around Jamie, "I know you did. You're doing that a lot lately honey. Please talk to me about why. You are always telling me to find another partner. Are you upset with me as a partner, a girlfriend?"

"Eddie, no," Jamie held her tight in his arms. "No it's not you at all, it's me. It's all me baby. I'm just frustrated with so much. I'm not making any progress anywhere, not in my career, not in therapy, not with you. I'm stuck in such a rut and now someone we work with daily is in far worse shape that I am and still I'm having trouble coping!"

"All right," Eddie replied. "All right, take a deep breath. This is about more than what's happening to Sergeant Mulvey and it's about more than a stagnant career, which you are fixing by studying for the Sergeant's exam. Talk to me."

Jamie sighed and buried his face in Eddie's chest. Sometimes being Jamison Reagan was incredibly hard. "There's a maniac impersonating Danny. Thomas Wilder, he's killed God knows how many women and now he's rented an apartment and bought a boat in Danny's name. Earlier the boat exploded. There's were I was so late, having beers with him. He threatened the boys and Linda too. Danny's marriage is already handing by a thread."

"What?" Eddie was surprised to learn this. "I'm shocked. I always thought Danny and Linda were like liver and onions."

"It all came out tonight," Jamie sighed not wanting to move from his place near Eddie's breast. "Linda's not been the same since the shooting, she's been seeing counselor but…The counselor is turning the tables on Danny, making him feel like it's his fault and that kind of thing. Danny's already blaming himself for it, he doesn't need more guilt on top of it, it makes him angry and it makes him reckless. Eddie, honest to God, if I lost Danny to this job too…"

Eddie started to rock, Jamie was coiled like a rattle snake, no wonder he was jumping at her and not thinking about the motivation behind someone' s action as deeply as he usually did. "You need to relax. Danny is tough and he is smart. He is going to be just fine. You will get to your breakthrough soon, and then we can go to dinner together in pubic without driving to Westchester or Long Island. After, we'll go to family dinner together…we can start all our own traditions. You will work hard, because you want this. You want us."

Jamie sat up, "I do. You know I do. I want all of us, all there is. I love you so much and I need you so much."

Eddie ran her hand through Jamie's hair. "I need you too, and I love you too. Whatever is happening we have to talk to each other. It hurts when you go quiet and snap at me like you were doing. It's not healthy Jamie."

Jamie nodded, "I'm going to grab a beer, do you want something?"

Eddie nodded, "Yeah, but he's getting a beer."

While Jamie was gone, Eddie got the couch ready to snuggle. They had made promises to each other about not letting their jobs interfere, they had slipped a few times but Eddie wasn't going to do that tonight. When Jamie returned she waited for him to sit before curling into his side, rubbing his chest.

"Maybe we can do something" Eddie replied. "For Sergeant Mulvey and his family. A collection or something. We raised money for a total stranger, surely we can do that for a brother in blue."

Jamie smiled, "No wonder I love you. You try so hard, you love so much."

"I just want to make things better than they were when I found them," Eddie replied. "I guess it's my way of paying things back somehow. I had a lot of privilege growing up at other people's expense. Least I can do is dedicate my life to service and try to make other's lives better."

Jamie's arm tightened around Eddie's shoulders. She laid her head on his chest, his heart beat was steady and true. They had their struggles that was for certain. Being partners on and off the job was not easy, most probably couldn't make it work as long as they had if at all, but they did it, day and day out there were there to support one another on and off the streets of New York city.

 **A/N: Another Pillow Talk under our belts. I'm not sure of the premiere date yet, but as soon as we get one, I'm going to make sure all the installments and the hiatus is finished. Since we are in June and the premiere is usually in September this story might go on hiatus.**

 **Next Update – June 17** **th** **– Hold Outs – Jamie and Eddie discuss the idea of not having Frank as Commissioner and dream of being old with one another after their successful undercover sting as a little old couple in love.**


	36. Chapter 36

**In the Distant Future**

"Jamie!" Eddie shook her husband of...she forgot how many years it was now. She had been calling him for a half hour and he hadn't budged from where he lay as a heap in their bed. "Jamison Reagan...what did I tell you about sleeping with your ears out?! You about scared me to death!"

Jamie fumbled for his hearing aids and popped the both in his ears. "What was that Eddie?" he asked his wife as she squinted at him through coke bottle thick glasses.

"Oh, you big oaf!" Eddie huffed. "Your breakfast is getting cold and we are out of milk and orange juice."

"Eddie, there was a huge bottle in the fridge yesterday," Jamie sighed. "You have to get those eyes fixed, yelling at me about getting a peaceful sleep when you can't see a foot in front of you!"

Jamie shuffled to the bathroom to wash his face and hands. He looked over at Eddie, poor thing was so scared of having her eyes fixed even though he had it done himself three years ago and could see just fine. "Come on, sweetie. We can make an appointment, you'll be home a few hours after it's done," Jamie tried to cajole but Eddie was having none of it.

They ate their breakfast and face timed with their two kids. Jamie still had to pinch himself that he had grandchildren in college. He didn't feel any of his 86 years and his Eddie didn't look it except for the squinting.

Later that day, Jamie took matters into his own hands. He drove Eddie to the eye doctor. "We are going to get you on the OR schedule today. There is too much still left to see."

Jamie held Eddie's arm as she walked with her purse and her cane. As they approached the doctor's office a masked man with a gun entered their path, "Do you know what time it is?"

"Jamie," Eddie cried as the gun went off, sending Jamie sprawling to the ground. Even with her horrible eyesight, all it took was one look. She'd been a cop long enough to know what a dead body looked like.

"No!" Eddie cried, jolting from a deep sleep drenched in sweat. She looked over taking a breath seeing Jamie staring back at her.

Jamie sat up when he felt her moving around in her sleep. "What's wrong Eddie?"

In between sobs Eddie managed to replay the nightmare, her entire body shaking as she did. "Then he…he shot you in front of me."

Jamie soothed her with a whispering tone as he pulled her against him and rocked her.

"It's okay, I'm right here," he said softly right in her ear. Eddie continued sobbing using his chest as a pillow letting him lay her down.

Jamie stroked Eddie's back gently, "That being old thing got to you huh?" Jamie asked laughing a little bit. "Was I really hard of hearing?"

Eddie sniffled, "Yeah, deaf as a doornail and I was scared of getting cataract surgery. I'm so glad we busted that jerk. Picking on old people for money."

"I know, honey," Jamie sighed. "But we did get him and he is going to be in for some jailhouse justice too. He got a lot of gang members locked up for his dirty work."

Eddie nodded, "He did, I'm just glad no one got killed. You know as hard as it would be for me to lose you now, I can't imagine the pain and the loss…I did just imagine it though and it gutted me."

Jamie dropped a kiss on her head. "It would gut me too, but let's not worry about that any more, all right. There are other things to worry about."

"Like who the new commissioner will be if it's not your father," Eddie replied.

"Dad's just holding out," Jamie replied. "He's not ready to give it all up yet, as much as…" Jamie bit his lip.

"As much as what?" Eddie asked leaning up on her elbow.

"As much as sometimes I wish he was just my Dad, that I could just advance and we could not have so many worries." Jamie sighed.

"Jamie…" Eddie sighed. "Your father is the best commissioner, he really stands up for cops. I know you feel stuck in a rut, honey. I know that…"

Jamie rolled over pulling Eddie with him. "Doesn't seem like much does it?" he sighed. "In the perspective of things…people getting mugged, losing their property, in danger of losing their lives but it's still important to me. We couldn't even raise a family on what we make, Eddie."

"We'd make it work," Eddie replied. "I honestly believe that baby. We love so much, that love…it's more than I had growing up. I had plenty of stuff, not enough of the thing you need and…"

Jamie kissed Eddie's hair, "We would make it work and I have been studying. Maybe I'll make the rank on my own merit."

"Are you kidding? You'll blow the exam wide open!" Eddie laughed. "I need a cookie, do you want a cookie?"

Jamie laughed, "You sure you aren't still dreaming? Cookies is something old ladies give grandchildren."

"We had grandchildren," Eddie informed Jamie getting two oatmeal cookies made by her neighbor Ruth. "They were all grown up and you were so proud of them. I think one of them went to Harvard."

Jamie smiled, "You know something? We are going to have our family. We are going to live to grow old and we are not going to separate by one of us being gunned down in the street, we will leave each other together, holding hands. God willing I won't be the one sitting by your side while you leave…"

"Oh, no I am going first Reagan," Eddie insisted. "I am not being left behind."

"We'll die together then, like that little old couple in Titanic," Jamie replied only half joking. He couldn't' imagine his life with Eddie when she appeared outside the 12th two and a half years ago. Now, and forever, he couldn't imagine his life without her.

 **A/N: Hope you enjoyed the little trip into Jamie and Eddie's future before the nightmare came. I wanted to have a little fun with their undercover assignment since it only had five minutes of screen time. Hope you all enjoyed. Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing so steadily, to Lawslave for previewing every chapter, and to Yanks20 for helping with dialogue when I get myself stuck in my own ideas.**

 **Next Update – June 24** **th** **– Flag of our Fathers – Jamie vents about a Sunday dinner run in with Danny, Eddie shares more secrets from her past.**


	37. Flag of our Fathers

"Eddie," Jamie said softly as they drove back to the apartment. "You haven't said two words since we dropped Lily off. You want to talk about it?"

"I did too say two words," Eddie protested. "I said four words. I said, 'I need ice cream'."

Jamie laughed, even sad and depressed Eddie could out maneuver him. "I got you chocolate with rainbow sprinkles, so what's up?"

"I just feel so bad for her, Jamie," Eddie sighed. "I spend at least one night a week missing my Dad and being sad I don't' have him involved in my life…Her father is dead and she's just a child. Put's things in perspective for me. And having you jump down my throat as soon as you got in the car…not helping!"

"I'm sorry, honey," Jamie sighed. "I really am, I jumped you when it was really Danny I got irritated at. I said I was sorry for that and it's not just you missing your Dad."

Eddie sighed as Jamie parked the car and fell quiet again until they got inside the house. She flopped on the couch and put her feet up on the couch. "I am Lily," Eddie said once Jamie was sitting beside her.

"No," Jamie told Eddie. "No, honey, you're not. You're not…"

"I am," Eddie sighed. "I am the girl that ignored the rumors for so many years. He was lying and cheating for years and people would always whisper about me behind my back. I was rich, so to my face they were so nice, but in reality…I was a joke."

"Oh, Eddie," Jamie sighed and put his arm around her pulling her close. Eddie resisted and stood up.

"No, listen, please don't try to stop it this time. Hear me out, please!" Eddie requested as she ran a hand through her hair.

Jamie nodded and let Eddie speak. "When we found Lily out there, I saw myself when I ran away. I did not care what happened to me. I just wanted the pain to stop. That little girl just wants the pain to stop, I had an opportunity out there tonight Jamie and I didn't take it. I just kept my story private so that I didn't have to deal with the face that it hurt. It was wrong and it was selfish, just like…"

Jamie got up and hugged Eddie tight, "NO! No, you are not like him, Eddie. You are not like you Dad. You didn't say anything to her because you, fortunately, can't relate to the hardest part for her. Your father is alive for you to express your anger, you fear…all of that…but hers isn't. You did the right thing."

Eddie laid her head on Jamie's chest, "I want to help her, Jamie. We took her home and we talked to her but that's just a bandaid. She really needs some kind of closure, you know. Some way too…"

Jamie's wheels started to turn, "I looked up Lily's file, Chris Frye, the cop that shot Lily's dad, he runs a youth center now that is designed to help kids just like Lily. New Tomorrow Youth Center…I bet if we talked to Chris and got him to just let Lily face him…that would help."

Eddie pulled back and looked into Jamie's eyes. "You think he'd do that?"

Jamie nodded, "HE left the job after the shooting, now he counsels kids just like Lily all the time. He wanted to give something back after taking a life, I know he'll go down to the school with us and just let Lily yell or cry whatever she needs to do."

"Go ahead and call him, then you can tell me how you managed to fight with your brother again."

Jamie laughed and made the necessary phone calls to set up a meeting between former Officer Chris Frye and young Lily. When he hung up Eddie had showered and was in her short pajamas and an old Harvard shirt of his. Jamie sat on the couch and smiled when Eddie crawled into his lap. "The flag burners," Jamie told her. "He got on me again for my lack of military service. I hate what he suffered through, but that was not something my parents wanted for me or even for him. Danny joined up on his own, he made a choice and we respected it. I guess it just bothers me to no end that he can't respect me for making a different one."

Eddie ran her hand through Jamie's hair, "You're with the flag burners aren't you? You agree that if they so desire they should be able to exercise that right?"

Jamie nodded, "I do. Don't get me wrong, Eddie, I am against the practice for myself, but that flag stands for a lot of things and one of those things is the right of a citizen of this country to burn that flag in protest. No other nation in the world can you express yourself that freely, and I think that's what makes us special."

"I agree," Eddie said softy. "It's not a method I would choose, but the symbol of the United States is not just the flag. It is the right to burn it, the right to fly it, the right to salute it wherever you choose, anytime you choose."

Jamie hugged Eddie a little bit tighter, "I'm proud of Danny's service, but sometimes I think he uses it to stay close minded. He and all the other soldiers that fought and died, they did it to keep us special, to keep us that free. Personally, if that little punk lights a flag on fire tomorrow, I want to drag his useless behind into a cell…"

"Danny is letting his feelings interfere with his job,you are trying not to do the same thing. What if it were our son or daughter that wanted to burn the flag?"

Jamie laughed, "Oh simple, I'd lock him or her in their room for a year. There's personal freedom and then there's the Reagan family. We respect ANOTHER person's right to burn a flag, we don't exercise that ourselves, it's like spitting in the faces of half our family members."

Eddie smiled, "You are going to make such a good dad."

A shadow fell over her face, "The baby would be showing by now if…"

Jamie tightened his hold again, "I know, I think about it too. But when it is the right time for us, I know then…I know it will be so much more special."

Eddie was inclined to agree. "Make it up with your brother, okay? Let him know your legal brain and your blue blooded heart don't think the same thing. He'll respect that, he'll even love you for it, God knows I do."

Jamie dropped a kiss on Eddie's lips, once again thanking any one that would listen for bringing this light into his life.

 **A/N: Jamie's comments and opinions regarding flag burning do not reflect the opinion of this author, it is merely that opinion that I believe a Harvard educated lawyer would have given the current statutory law and case law on the subject. This author has nothing but respect for our flag and those that defend it and all of the rights it represents whether or not one is in agreement with said rights.**

 **Next Update – July 8** **th** **and 9** **th** **– Yes, you read it right. I will be leaving on vacation on June 29** **th** **so there will be no update of Pillow Talk next week as this story is written weekly, not in advance like my other stories. Those other stories will still be updated.**

 **When we resume – Jamie and Eddie face off over her desire for a gold shield and his reluctance to take a leap.**


	38. Back in the Day

"I just don't understand what you have against it, Jamie," Eddie sighed as they sat down on the sofa to discuss her new "rabbi".

"I don't have anything against it, honey," Jamie replied. "I'm upset you didn't talk to me about it that's all. If you were thinking about this shouldn't we have discussed it first?"

Eddie sighed, "Yes, I suppose I should have mentioned it to you, Jamie but I know how frustrated you are about not being promoted. You talked about the Sergeant's exam a few months ago but you haven't even touched the book."

"I'm sorry I'm not more into this, and believe me there is nothing I'd like more than sitting in a car with my beautiful partner." Jamie leaned over and kissed Eddie softly. "I'll try to be more supportive if this is what you really want to do."

Eddie nodded and leaned into Jamie's chest, "It's not what I want necessarily," Eddie sighed. "It's just an option, Jamie. An option you don't have because you allow yourself to be handled so unfairly by your Dad. You should tell him you know what you deserve and that anything you get is on merit! I hate this for you!"

Jamie slid his arm around Eddie's shoulders, "Let's forget about tonight all right?" He kissed her temple. "You want to go for this, I'm behind you all right?"

Eddie nodded and turned so she was lying against Jamie's chest. Eddie let her eyes close thinking about work today. Being on patrol was definitely more thrilling, but thinking of a future, a family, the money was much better. Also, she had just as much education as Jamie, more than Danny and Baez, more than most of the detectives. Eddie would be lying if she said she didn't feel a little bored with the often humdrum nature of patrol. Still, the nature of a stakeout wasn't exactly full of thrills either.

Eddie felt Jamie playing with her hair and rubbing her arm, she felt tired and melted into his legs. "You want to go to bed?" Jamie asked. "You're exhausted. Was this why you were tossing and turning all week?"

Eddie laughed, "No, that was actually menstrual cramps. They were really bad this month. Sorry if it kept you awake."

"If you were hurting you could have told me, Baby," Jamie said softly.

"You were really tired, I wanted you rested and alert especially if I wasn't. It passed but I am tired…Let's go watch a movie in bed."

Jamie nodded, and selected Open Range as their movie, as it was his turn. He knew Eddie liked that movie as well. He laid down and pulled Eddie close, her head resting on his stomach as he stroked her back. He lived for these little moments.

Eddie dozed off just before the huge gunfight began. Jamie knew she enjoyed that scene so he turned it off, they could watch together tomorrow night.

Or so he thought…

The events of the next night were unlike anything Jamie or Eddie would have expected. Jamie never thought Eddie, his Eddie would reach over, take the keys out of the car, and flat out refuse to answer a 10-13. She knew how he was still battling with the loss of Joe. He could not believe that she did that.

For her part, Eddie couldn't believe how angry Jamie was. He had told her to find another partner, but Eddie feared he meant that for their personal relationship as well. Had she been so caught up in the Jeffers case that she didn't think of how Jamie would react? And was he so jaded about the work they did that he couldn't trust the other cops assigned to patrol to handle the call for assistance? Eddie wasn't sure what she was going to walk into as she put her key in the lock and pushed the door open.

Jamie was on the couch, in the dark, with a beer in one hand. The other arm was flung over his eyes hiding them from her view and the light from the window. Eddie took a breath and approached the sofa. "Jamie…"

"Eddie, please don't," Jamie sighed sleepily. "We had a hard night, it's ridiculous that this even happened. Please do your routine and I will do mine."

"Jamie, we have to talk this out," Eddie replied. "What happened tonight was a work thing, it's not personal."

Jamie swung up from the couch. "This time it is personal!" Jamie snapped. "Did you forget who you were with out there? My brother was a 10-13 once Eddie! I was a 10-13 once and no one showed up …"

"No one showed up but me you mean!" Eddie snapped remembering the day he was referring too. "But today, eleven units showed up, Jamie. We had orders to follow. You are the one that taught me to follow the rules, to take care of my assignment…"

"10-13 trumps everything!" Jamie fought back.

"10-13 does trump everything on patrol, but we weren't on patrol tonight, Jamie. We were on a stake out. A narcotics detective or sex crimes or even property does not respond to every 10-13 there is and if you and I are ever detectives, we won't either!"

The truth of Eddie's words too Jamie back. If he did move up, how could he think of protecting other officers? There would be other Joe's and other Jamie's then too.

Eddie softened her tone and reached for Jamie, "I know that scares you. I know you see you brother every time you hear those words, not just Joe but Danny too, but Jamie…if something terrible is going to happen…then it is and we can't stop it."

Jamie's throat felt tight, "I know…but I can be there as fast as I can and do as much as I can…"

"I know." Eddie closed the gap but Jamie pulled away.

"Just give me space right now okay? " Jamie avoided eye contact with her instead focusing on the beer pressed tightly in his hand.

Eddie sighed getting up to change promising to check on him in a bit. She went to the bathroom putting on his Harvard sweatshirt and shorts.

When she returned to the living room what Eddie saw shocked even her. The beer bottle had been thrown against the wall, the table sideswiped, its contents now on the floor beside Jamie who sat with violent angry tears rolling down his face. As much as Eddie wanted to give in to Jamie's request for space, she couldn't see him in such pain and not go to him.

Jamie felt Eddie wrap her body around his, "I'm so sorry, Jamie. I am so so sorry."

Jamie knew in his heart that it wasn't the actions of today she was sorry for but that Eddie was saying she was sorry for the loss he suffered and the pain it caused. "I'm here, baby," Eddie cooed. "I'm here…ssh…I'm so sorry, Jamie."

Eddie felt Jamie's hands come up and hold onto her arm. Gently Eddie moved so Jamie was lying in her lap, letting the anger and pain he so long repressed come out in waves. Eddie was sorry her actions drove him to this, but thankful he was finally releasing the pent up anger and frustration.

In Eddie's arms, Jamie calmed down and eventually dozed off on her lap. Eddie stroked his hair, her anger forgotten at his pain…They would whether this storm like they had others, she was sure of it…

 **A/N: This was a rough episode for Eddie and Jamie fans but I hope I was able to get us inside their heads as to what might have driven their reactions and decisions.**

 **Next Update – July 15** **th** **– Jamie is uneasy about Eddie asserting herself more in their work partnership, while he struggles with more memories of Joe.**


	39. Cursed

"If you think it's wrong, don't do it!" Eddie said firmly but with a gentle tone. She knew the badge number situation was bringing up a lot of fear and anxiety for Jamie. He had gone to see his therapist earlier over this and some developments with Renzulli. "Though I don't know why you think giving this cop who lost her father, Joe's badge number, but you think it's okay Renzulli squashed out collar."

"I don't think that's okay, Eddie," Jamie sighed. "But I think there's a reason for it and until I get to the bottom of it, I don't want to pass judgment."

Eddie sighed, "Jamie, I didn't mean to upset you earlier. It seems like all I do is that anymore. You are having a hard time, you are bottling up, all I want to do is help you and I end up making a mess."

Jamie sighed, "Eddie, I think that maybe being partners is starting to get in the way here. We are arguing a lot more, you are pushing a lot more than usual..."

"Pushing?" Eddie asked. "What do you mean pushing? I am stating my opinions, I'm not forcing you to comply..."

"You aren't having my back either, not at work. Not last week and not now with Renzulli. He's the boss, he's been there for us both and you wanting to have him investigated really is upsetting me."

Eddie sighed, "I'm sorry you feel that way, Jamie. I don't want you to get mixed up in this mess, all right?"

Eddie closed the gap and slid her arms around him, "You aren't thinking clearly, this business with Joe's badge number. I know you think it' what he'd want but..."

Jamie covered Eddie's arms. She was trying to be understanding and he had to admit, it did cross his mind about Renzulli, but he just couldn't bring himself to admit it.

"I better go," Jamie said softly. "I am going to tail Renzulli and see what he's up to with this guy. There's got to be a reason Eddie, I can't see another cop go down for any reason. I just can't."

Eddie felt her stomach lurch, "Jamie please don't..."

"I have to Eddie," Jamie whispered. "I'll be careful, I promise. I love you."

Eddie smiled, "I love you too, you silly man. Please, be careful, please."

Jamie nodded, part of him still wishing she would be by his side, the other part glad she would be safe at home. He had no idea what he was walking into.

Jamie sat in Eddie's arms head down looking at his hands. "His friend was stabbed right in front of him Eddie. I've ridden with him, we've seen it all but the look on his face seeing Derek…"

Eddie hugged Jamie tightly against her offering a quiet condolence for what he just went through. "Derek was like his brother. I couldn't imagine Eddie, seeing your brother in front of you. I wasn't even home when Joe was killed and it haunts me to this very day, in everything I do. Yeah, I was there with Vinny, he was my partner, I loved him…but the bond was not brother like, not like Joe and not like Derek for the poor Sarge. I just can't think of where he is now."

"I can't either Jamie, but it isn't your fault. Derek went out on his own, I don't want you blaming yourself." Eddie kissed the side of his head and rubbed his back.

"I just feel bad for Renzulli, that's all," Jamie admitted softly. He rested his head against her shoulder using Eddie's body to summon strength.

"I know you do, and I feel badly that I didn't go with you, that I wasn't there to handle it so you didn't have to. I know what horrible memories this brought up."

Jamie took a long breath, "I think though, being out there and seeing it, seeing that happen, it gave me a little closure on Joe. The badge thing, it's a good thing that Officer Carpenter gets the number, she'll do it proud. She'll do her father and Joe proud."

Eddie nodded and stroked Jamie's hair, "Go take a shower, I'll pour you a beer. We can just be together tonight all right. Tomorrow we can talk out what to do with Renzulli."

Jamie nodded, he knew in his heart he had to do something. Renzulli had really broken the rules and if it hit the fan…Jamie didn't want to think about it at all. He stood under the shower and let the hot water wash away the stress. When he came out Eddie was lying on their bed in her short pajamas with two beers.

Jamie popped the top off the beer and dropped onto the bed pulling Eddie into his arms. "I love you, and I'm sorry I've been all…"

Eddie laughed, "I'm the one that's been acting weird, I guess it's this training thing we have coming up. I'm just insane about that. Detective Langley is said to be pretty strict."

"I've got you back partner, always. In and out of the car, I promise. I even told Renzulli that but if he mentions it, act surprised."

"Told Renzulli what?" Eddie asked raising her eyebrow.

"I told him you have a knack for towing the line, and that you are the best partner I have ever had, I was talking about the car as well as the heart."

Eddie snuggled Jamie close to her, he got so quiet it was unnerving for her.

"Hey are you okay," Eddie looked up to met his eyes, her own concerned for him.

Jamie simply nodded twisting to hug her tight burying his feelings deep. "Yeah, I'm fine just worried about Sarge, that's all."

Eddie lay against him fighting sleep initiated by Jamie rubbing her back slowly. Jamie rested his head on hers, eyes averting to his phone worried about his friend. He didn't want to worry Eddie but Renzulli wasn't taking his friend's death well. Eddie couldn't fall asleep with the tension in his body.

"Marie is there for him, his Marie will heal his pain," Eddie soothed.

Jamie nodded, "I have to admit, I think it would have been better when Joe…if I had you by my side. I think if anything terrible happens again that I'll get through it better…faster…with you at my side."

Eddie smiled, "I know that I can get through anything with you, Jamie. Now I want you to go to sleep…let's go to sleep."

Jamie continued his little back rub, and felt Eddie melt against him. He took a long breath in and kissed her head thankful, not for the first time, to have her in his life, in his arms, and in his heart.

 **A/N: I'd like to poll all of my readers for this piece and see if there is interest in my continuing it into Season 7 being mindful that I probably won't have them go public unless it goes on the show or the show ends. I will reveal it to some more family and friends as appropriate.**

 **Next Update – July 22** **nd** **– Jamie vents to Eddie about Ray Langley.**


	40. Stomping Ground

"Jamie," Eddie said hesitantly. "Jamie, say something…"

Jamie was seething. He was angry and the lock in his jaw was showing it. "Jamie, I didn't kiss him. He kissed me."

"Really Eddie he kissed you! But you didn't move away which makes this on you!" Jamie couldn't sit still the Reagan temper he was usually good at holding in grew.

The thought of Eddie kissing another man... Jamie scowled at the thought.

"Jamie calm down let me explain," Eddie pleaded with him.

"Fine!" Jamie snapped. "You go ahead and explain!"

Eddie sat down, "We went for a drink, that was wrong in hindsight, but you were on board with it, you and I talked about it."

"I know that," Jamie replied. "But I didn't think you'd be kissing him!"

"I didn't think I would be kissing him…We had a few drinks, he…" Eddie took a breath. "He closed on me, our lips touched. I pulled back and that was it but Jamie…I did not want the kiss and I set the boundary that it cannot happen again."

Jamie took a breath, "Are you all right?" He hated the thought of her feeling used and abused.

"I'm good, it's not the first time I had a man kiss me when I wasn't thrilled with the idea! I did handle it and honestly if we weren't in a relationship I probably would never have said anything."

Jamie's eyes softened, he wasn't really angry at Eddie, he was angry at Ray Langley and mostly at himself for not speaking up when questioned about Eddie. "Do I have to get into it with this guy?"

Eddie shook her head, "No," she replied softly. "But can you forgive me? I didn't like kissing him Jamie, and I didn't have trial prep I just didn't want to be near him after…I'm sorry I lied, I'm sorry I hurt you."

Jamie pulled Eddie into his lap and kissed her cheek. "What hurt was that you didn't come home right away and tell me."

Eddie laid her head on Jamie's chest, "I didn't want you to go off halfcocked and get all protective. I love you so much…but sometimes you have to just let me take care of myself."

Jamie took a deep breath, "Do you know how hard that is for me to do? As a partner, yeah, I can let you handle things but…it's the way I was brought up honey."

Eddie nodded, "Most of the time, I like this. The Langley thing though, it has to do with work and our personal stuff and…trust me to let you know that I need your help okay?"

Jamie nodded, "I will. I do trust you Eddie, but I don't trust him. Be careful, I just have this gut feeling and…"

"I know, I do too, but trust me," Eddie said again. "And…" Eddie began to kiss Jamie's jaw and neck. "Make love to me…please…"

Eddie didn't have to ask twice. Jamie scooped her up into his arms and stood in one motion. That night he was going to make sure he left his mark, she was his, not Ray Langley's, not anyone else's but his.

As Jamie worked his magic on Eddie's body with lips, hands, and eyes, Eddie sighed. This was her favorite role. She was an officer, a daughter, a friend…but this, being Jamie's lover was her favorite role, it was where she felt whole and complete.

Basking in the afterglow, Eddie playing with the small hairs on Jamie's chest, "I wonder if I'm the only one."

"What?"

Jamie was confused, surely Eddie knew she was the woman that held his heart. "Eddie, you…"

"Not you, silly, I know you are faithful, I meant Langley. He's going around to all the precincts in Manhattan, how many other female officers has he gotten friendly with? I mean, I'm strong, I'm centered, I know what I need, want, and have but there might be others getting used and not knowing it."

Since Eddie's attack by Jake Singer, she was very sensitive to women being exploited. "Well," Jamie thought as he held his girl in his arms. "Why don't you ask around, discreetly and see what you can find out. If there are more women, you and me, we'll put the screws to him together."

Eddie leaned up on her elbow and smiled down at him, "No wonder we're such a good team. We think alike."

"Oh we do, do we?"

As if to prove a point, Jamie and Eddie reached and began to tickle each other at the same time.

Three nights later, Jamie carried Eddie into the apartment on his back like a coach would carry an MVP. Between the two of them, they managed to expose Sergeant Langley for the womanizing jerk he was. Jamie couldn't be prouder of Eddie, she got some female officers together and when they compared notes they thought that Ray had pressured them. It had been all her idea, then he sweetened the pot.

Earlier at Sunday dinner, he'd spoke to his father about Staten Island, hinting that Ray would be a good fit to fill a vacant position out there. Tonight, Jamie dropped the loosely veiled threat that if Ray did not request that transfer, the four wronged women would reveal his antics to their superiors. Ray Langley had messed with the wrong Reagan and the wrong Reagan girl!

Jamie let Eddie down on the sofa and dropped down beside her. "You killed it tonight," Jamie praised. "And this outfit…not one man in the room was looking at anyone but you. I thought I'd have to draw my weapon."

Jamie reached into his pocket, "You know Eddie, men look at you, men want to date you...I want to give you this…" Jamie handed Eddie a small box.

"Jamie…"

Slowly she opened the soft velvet jewelry box and sighed, "Oh Jamie…" Inside was a very small pin she could put on behind her badge or on her collar when out of uniform…"It's the Greek letter for J…" Jamie informed her. "I have this…" Jamie revealed a tiny pin on the inside of his tee shirt. Greek letter for E. We belong to each other and now…"

Eddie's lips stopped Jamie from finishing his sentence, she was touched by his gift and the way he stood up with her and the other girls that night. Jamie was her knight in shining armor and that night she was going to treat him as such.

 **A/N: No preview for next week because I have to figure out how to fix what the writers have so badly screwed up. This was the last episode that Jamie and Eddie had any kind of connection in how they wrote this. Feel free to disagree with me, but I think the last half of season six was a disaster for Jamie fans with or without Eddie.**

 **I will be updating next week, I typically write this story on Tuesday, so if anyone wants to watch Road to Hell and provide suggestions, I'm open.**


	41. Road to Hell A

"How did it go?" Eddie asked as Jamie tiredly entered the apartment after bringing Nikki home from court. They had the day off from work and had planned a trip to the botanical gardens. Eddie had understood when it hit the fan that Jamie had to stand by his sister and niece.

"They released her ROR so I drove her home," Jamie replied. "I cannot believe she did this Eddie. Okay, it was not her drugs, we know it was not her drugs, but she won't give up who they belong to and I know that she knows!"

Eddie handed Jamie a glass of juice and his bagel, "Eat." Eddie sat down on her legs. "I know you want her to speak up and finger the person that did this, but I was a girl in college once too. It is really hard to stand against your friends, and for Nikki…"

"Don't make excuses for her, Eddie," Jamie replied biting the bagel. "This is good, what did you do to this?"

"Added garlic to the butter," Eddie replied. "Seriously Jamie, you remember what school was like, how difficult that can be."

"Yes, I do, but I also know that I'm a Reagan and I was raised to be strong in the face of hard times. I was raised that way, to stand on my own if it meant doing the right thing. Erin raised Nikki the same way," Jamie sighed. "I know she did."

"Okay, maybe she did," Eddie replied. "Maybe she did but honey, I know as well as anyone when you get into the position of having to rat out your friends, it gets crazy. I was raised to be a good girl too, but when my life started to fall apart, so did I."

Jamie turned to face Eddie, "Baby, that was different. Nikki didn't just lose her mother, she wasn't the daughter of a man that made his money in a questionable way. That girl has every opportunity to succeed and you know what really gets my goat?"

Eddie rubbed Jamie's leg, "No, what?" She really wanted to listen to him, she could see he was coiled like a snake and had to let it go or snap.

"Boyle. She is using the last name Boyle and not because it's her father's name, if that was the reason that would be fine. She's using it to hide who she is. She's ashamed of us and she wants help from us. How ungrateful can you be?"

Eddie took a breath, "That must hurt you so much. I know how proud you are and one day I will be proud to where the Reagan name, and to have our kids bear that name too. You should talk to her about that and how it makes you feel."

Jamie shrugged, "Honestly, I don't think she'd even care. She was always a little mouthy but it was okay... that was who she s and we loved her, but since college…"

"I'm telling you Jamie, late teens and early twenties, it is hell on girls. I was that age once, remember? I was stealing scarves and gloves from Bloomingdales trying to get my father's attention after Mom died, trying to get a boy to like me. I even stole for a boy once and when I got caught under the bus I went but I never ratted him out. That same boy…pushed me a lot to do things I didn't want to do, but to stay under the radar, I never said a word. I was that girl, I was a wild, lonely girl and I'm pretty sure being the only granddaughter and niece in a family full of testosterone, which is no picnic!"

"Eddie, honest to God, please stop trying to make this the same thing," Jamie sighed. "It's not the same thing! If Nikki came home from boarding school to find her father drunk and her mother dead, I'd give it to you…" Eddie lip quivered, Jamie knew he'd gone too far

"Oh, sweetheart, I am so sorry," Jamie reached out and pulled Eddie close. "I'm sorry, I was angry and…"

"Stop it, Jamie! Just stop it!" Eddie tried to pull back but Jamie held fast. "That was a horrible time for me, and for you to just use it like that!"

"I didn't mean to do that, I'm just…" Jamie sighed. "You had a reason to do things Eddie. You had a traumatic thing happen and you had to put that out some place. Nikki has no such excuse! She's showing how spoiled she really is. I'm her uncle, I love her, I'll support her, but I'm having such a hard time with how she's…"

"I know, I know you didn't mean it," Eddie sighed. "Hey, we were supposed to go to the botanical gardens today but how about I take you someplace else."

Jamie smiled, he knew he had to make up for his huge faux pas. "Anywhere."

Eddie took the car keys and she and Jamie got into her Porsche. Usually she let Jamie drive but today she was going to make it a surprise. She drove them over bridges and through tunnels until they came to a pretty isolated cemetery in Long Island. Eddie pulled the car up to a crypt labeled, JANKO. Eddie took Jamie by the hand, "Momma, this is my Jamie." Eddie looked up at Jamie, "I come here when I have something to tell her. You told Danny about us, now I'm telling my Mom. She's not here physically, but she is in here in my heart. She would love you, she would love how you love me."

Jamie tipped Eddie's chin up and took her lips, "I do love you. Please do not compare what you suffered losing your mother to Nikki's stubbornness and do not compare your shame at your family name to her shame, it is not the same thing."

Eddie reached up and caressed Jamie's cheek, "I know how much you hurt, Jamie. I know that she hurt you by denying the family name, and by turning her back on what you all have taught her, but sweetheart, you can't save someone that doesn't respect you and she doesn't. Focus on what you can save, what you can do, because you are a hero to a lot of kids."

Jamie smiled, "And what about you, Ms. Janko, am I a hero to you?"

Eddie ran her hands up Jamie's chest, "You will be if you feed me. There is a fabulous crab hut near here…"

Jamie laughed, "Always the stomach with you Janko…"

 **A/N: This chapter was a little rough around the edges, thanks to Lawslave for her suggestions on cleaning it up. Thanks to JLMayer for suggesting Eddie would identify a bit with Nikki's plight.**

 **I think Jamie should have been more disillusioned with Nikki than he was, she was turning her back on the family and had no excuse for her elitist attitude. Jamie's feelings here are entirely mine!**

 **Next Update – August 5** **th** **– Road to Hell Part 2 – Jamie and Eddie have a date and discuss their religious barriers.**


	42. Road to Hell B

Jamie smiled holding Eddie's hand gently leading her out. He planned on taking her to the Bronx zoo for a date knowing she loved animals.

While Jamie drove Eddie looked out the window watching buildings pass trying to guess where they were going amusing Jamie.

"It's a surprise Eddie so I won't tell you," Jamie laughed ignoring her small pout. Still she turned back to the window wondering what Jamie had planned.

When they pulled up to the gate of the Bronx zoo, Eddie's face broke out in a smile. "Oh Jamie!" She leaned over the seat and kissed Jamie's cheek. "I've never been here, and I've always wanted to come."

"Then I'm glad I thought to bring you," Jamie replied as he found a good parking space. Eddie and Jamie laced their fingers, secure in the knowledge that on weekday, there was no chance that they'd be discovered here. "Where do you want to go first?"

Eddie paused looking at a park map. "Sea lions!" Eddie loved animals in general but the cuter the better. "Okay, sea lions and penguins!"

Hand in hand Eddie and Jamie strolled to the sea lions and were fortunate enough to see a feeding. "Look at how cute they are, they ask for the food better than most people!"

Jamie was delighted in watching Eddie smiling at the sea lions. Her golden hair was blowing back and forth in the soft breeze. Jamie couldn't resist fingering it. "You're so pretty honey," Jamie replied. "Especially out here."

Eddie laughed, "You're not so bad yourself in the black tee shirt of yours."

Jamie slid his arm around Eddie's shoulders and headed to the American Bison habitat. They walked around the zoo counterclockwise viewing both native and exotic animals.

"Doesn't the smell bother you?" Jamie asked as they explored the baboon hut.

"Not really, actually," Eddie laughed. "I'm hungry. There's a café, let's get some lunch."

Hand in hand they headed to the café. Eddie found a table then then Jamie got on the line to purchase their lunches, for Eddie a roast beef and cheddar cheese sandwich with chip and for himself a turkey spinach wrap. "I can see you are having a good time, honey, but for the last couple of days I've noticed you starting to ask me a question then stopping. Do you want to talk about something?"

Eddie bit her straw, "Jamie we're having such a nice day, I don't want to ruin it…"

"You won't," Jamie replied. "Come on, talk to me."

"All right," Eddie sighed. "Here it goes. Are you upset that I'm not Catholic?"

Jamie nearly choked on his wrap, "What?"

"Does it bother you that I'm not Catholic? You were a little quiet after I asked about confession and…"

"Eddie, it doesn't matter," Jamie said quickly. "It doesn't matter, baby. I love you. I love your gold hair, I love your laughter, I love how you bounce at sea lions and if that person is Catholic, Methodist, Jewish, Muslim…I do not care. I love you."

Eddie smiled softly, "I love you too. You know, I'm not tied to any religions so if we eventually do take this public and we do want a family, I'm open to doing all of that Catholic you know?"

Jamie smiled and took Eddie's hand rubbing the knuckles, "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Eddie replied. "I would have no problem marrying you in a fancy Catholic ceremony and having our little girl or boy get baptized. That's important to you…"

Jamie smiled unable to hold back at Eddie's offer. She was aware as most everyone that his family was famously Catholic.

"We can definitely talk about it when it gets closer, although the thought of having a family with you is really nice." Jamie reached across the table for her hand thinking about how great a mom she would be.

Eddie returned the smile giving his hand a gentle squeeze before returning to her sandwich.

"So what do you want to see next," Jamie asked softly.

Eddie thought for a minute before answering, "I heard they have a tiger exhibit."

"Then let's go." They took their trays and threw them away before heading to check out the big cats.

Jamie and Eddie stayed the zoo until it closed, then picked up pretzels and hot dogs for dinner before getting back in the Mustang and heading home. "Did you have fun?"

"I did, we need to have dates more often," Eddie replied. "You've been braver about going out lately."

"Yes," Jamie agreed. "Just not yet in Manhattan. I thought our next day off we could go into Jersey, go to the Ford Mansion in Morristown and go to one of the Japanese Hibachi houses."

Eddie slid her hand over to Jamie's thigh, "Sounds like a plan."

 **A/N: Special thanks to Dorvell who suggested showing Jamie and Eddie on a date. I felt that I needed to address the Catholic issue in addition to Eddie and Jamie working on Nikki's messing up, so I wrote this short but hopefully light chapter.**

 **Next Update – August 12** **th** **– Eddie and Jamie discuss addiction.**


	43. Fresh Start

"So Danny took him to the rehab?" Eddie confirmed as she and Jamie settled down to their pizza and beer.

"Yeah," Jamie replied. "He said at first he wasn't going to do that, but Baez changed his mind. Her brother was an addict and he died working as CI for the DEA about eighteen months ago. I don't think Baez ever forgave herself."

"That's got to be hard, growing up with someone that is addicted to drugs or alcohol," Eddie sighed. "Or anything really. Watching them struggle with it, trying to avoid getting stigmatized by it yourself. It's sad."

Jamie nodded and studied his beer. "And you know what else? Some of us are just inches away from it. One drink too many, one bet too far and there you go down the same spiral as countless others you always judged."

"Jamie, why do I get the feeling we aren't talking about Officer Nelson anymore?" Eddie asked with a hint of concern.

"Cause it's not," Jamie replied. "My great-grandfather, Pop's father, Charles was said to be a hopeless alcoholic. My grandpa and my father tend to drink if things are good, bad, tough…and so do I."

"Jamie, you are not a drunk," Eddie replied quickly. "You like to drink, I like to drink but that's different…"

"I know," Jamie said quickly. "It was when Joe died. I drank and I drank to get rid of that pain and nothing I put in my body did the trick. We judge them so much and we are all just a few steps away from being down the same rabbit hole."

"This is really a thing for you, isn't it?" Eddie asked, standing up and moving to rub Jamie's shoulders.

"When Joe died, God Eddie, it was so hard. Sydney, she tried but she had no frame of reference for how it felt, no one did. Joe was my best friend, my best advocate. Joe was the person I went to for things like that, he's the one that would teach me how do handle things like that."

"Yeah, sure," Eddie replied happy to hear Jamie opening up a little bit about Joe with her. "That had to be hard."

"So," Jamie sighed. "I didn't want to be a burden on my family, everyone lost, everyone was grieving and it was pretty darn clear I was a burden to Sydney, so I thought I would drink a little."

"That is understandable, Jamie," Eddie comforted. "Are you done with dinner? Let's clean up dinner and go finish talking on the couch. I want to hold onto you while you do this and it's hard with a chair back between us."

Jamie nodded that he was finished. Eddie cleaned up quickly, it was her turn. As soon as she was finished, she joined Jamie on the sofa. Eddie took Jamie in her arms, letting him lay his head on her chest. Eddie gently caressed Jamie's hair and waited for him to speak again.

"The first night after Joe died," Jamie continued. "I downed a fifth of Scotch. I did that the next night and the night after. Sydney tried to get through, but everything she said those nights was like nails on a chalkboard. She said how sorry she was but that Joe signed up for it. When she said that, I had enough liquor in me to really impair my judgment. I went off on her, yelled at her, scared her near to death."

Eddie dropped a kiss on Jamie's hair, "You felt like she was attacking Joe. You loved him, he had just passed away and you felt like she attacked him. It was normal, it was a normal brotherly reaction, what you did. Anyone would have yelled and Sydney must have understood that."

"I guess," Jamie shrugged. "She left that night but the next day she came back to say she was sorry. I accepted her sorry, said one of my own, but I think that moment, that precise second was the beginning of the end of us."

Eddie ran two gentle hands over Jamie's chest, "And the beginning of us, if you think about that. If you got married when you should have there would never be an us, there your be us as partners sure, but not like we are now."

That earned Eddie a smile. "That's true," Jamie replied turning so he could pull Eddie close. "I have the tendency, Eddie," Jamie sighed "I have the tendency to drink, to drown my feelings in liquor and the numb feeling I get from it. How are you with that?"

Eddie curled into Jamie's arms and laid her head on him. "I'm fine with that," Eddie replied. "I'm fine with it because it's part of you, honey. You admitted it, you recognized it, and if you do fall victim to that in the future I will be there to help you and pull you out of it. Alzheimer's runs in my family, if one day I forget who I am and who you are…"

"I'll remind you," Jamie whispered. "I love you and I realized today that there was one good thing that came from Joe's death, I found my calling, I began doing what I really love to do. I love being a cop, I love being on patrol…"

Eddie smiled, "I know you do, that's a gift Jamie, a true gift. It cost you too though. It cost you Sydney, you experiences loss again with Vinny…"

Jamie shook his head, "That was another silver lining, Eddie. That gave me you, I will always say that, when Vinny died, he gave me you. I'm so glad we talked about this tonight. I feel so much better."

Eddie smiled, "I'm glad. I'm here, Jamie, always glad to listen and to give my opinion, but most of all I love you and I'm here to love you."

"I'm here to love you," Jamie sighed. He stroked Eddie's hair and tucked a loose strand behind her ear. "Let me show you how I plan to do that."

Eddie smiled and flirtatiously licked her lips, "Yes, please…"

 **A/N: Another one down as we wait with hope for Jamko in Season Seven. September 23** **rd** **is not as far away as it seems, the spoilers are already out!**

 **Next Update – August 19** **th** **– Jamie vents to Eddie about Danny's struggles with Linda. Who's side is he on?**


	44. Help Me Help You

Eddie startled when Jamie stormed into the apartment and slammed the door. She had been reading a cooking magazine in search of light recipes for her health conscious boyfriend. "Jamie, what's going on? Are you okay?"

"You know, Eddie, sometimes my brother infuriates me!" Jamie grabbed a beer and dropped onto the couch, removing his shoes before putting his feet on the couch.

"Yes," Eddie replied carefully putting the magazine down on the table. "I thought things were going okay with you two lately."

"Me too," Jamie sighed. "They are going okay like that…Remember yesterday I told you Danny and his partner were helping a friend of Linda's and that he and Linda had this huge fight?"

Eddie nodded again trying to be the best listener possible. Jamie had expressed anger at Linda for not being an attentive enough listener to Danny and for allowing her fear, irrational as it was, to get in the way. Eddie didn't want to upset Jamie like that when he was already wound so tight. "I remember."

"Today, we're going to meet for a beer and talk a little bit," Jamie replied. "So I go to Murphy's and we talk. They solved everything, Danny told me he realized it was his fault and that he's the one that's being scared of everything, when I have been sitting at family dinners listening to her complain and jab at Danny. I watched him tense up, he's going out so stressed…"

"Kind of like you huh?" Eddie laughed. Jamie's eyebrows had almost climbed into his hair line. Eddie quickly explained. "You're so wound up over this, there's more to it than you being frustrated with Danny and Linda."

Jamie sighed, "Danny is a tough big brother, he's a rough cop, but one thing I've always admired about him is he is a good husband and father. Linda seems to be demonizing him, and I don't like it. The brother in me does not like it!"

Eddie reached out to rub Jamie's thigh but he pulled it back, laughing lightly at how crazy Jamie was letting this make him. "You think this is funny, it's not! Danny is blaming this mess on himself now just like Linda's stupid shrink tried to do! I don't want to lose another brother! Danny is all I have! Pop is old, Dad is getting up there, Erin is wrapped up in her work that leaves Danny!"

"I don't think it's funny at all Jamie! I'm just trying to be here for you. Look, I see how torn up you are over this. Why don't you talk to Danny?"

Jamie sighed, "I tried. He's set now that he's the one that's scared to lose Linda and she's perfect and innocent in all this, but she's not! I love my sister-in-law, I really do, but…I'm being stupid."

"Jamie, if it's bothering you this much, it's not stupid," Eddie sighed. "This started when Linda got shot, you said that it changed her. That once upon a time she was a proud police wife and then the shooting happened and she's scared of her own shadow and worse yet, scared for Danny and the kids. I can't say I wouldn't be too. I'm on both sides of it, but you are too."

Jamie took a breath, "She's not being fair to him, Eddie. Danny didn't change, Linda did. It's fine if she says to him, this changed me please change with me but to act like it's all his fault, it's eating at him, even if he's taking the blame on himself now it's eating at him and it's just not fair. Danny has always been the model husband and father, always."

Eddie kissed Jamie's head, "I know, and he's a great brother too keeping our secret like this. Why don't you send him a text and let him know you think he's a great father, husband, and big brother? That will go a long way if he's beating on himself and maybe you'll feel a little better too."

Jamie smiled, "I'm sorry babe. I'm sorry I brought all the in and dumped on you like this."

"That's what I'm here for," Eddie replied. "I'm here to listen and you are here to listen. We are both cops but we are both cops' partners too. If I got shot, you can bet I would be scared of you going through that same pain and that same fear. I hope that you would identify with me going through it."

"Eddie, of course, I would. I identified with you having a shoot a year ago, I even did it with your miscarriage, I know you hurt badly after that, I did too. The part of me that wants to protect you from pain, wants to buy stock in Trojan, but I know I can't shield you from life and that is what Linda wants to do to Danny and to those boys."

"Jamie, as much as you want to push back for Danny, you can't, honey. You can't, this is his marriage and he has to do this alone. What you can do it bolster him a little. You text your brother, I'm going to run a hot bath and slide into some bubbles. I'll be waiting if you want to join me."

Eddie gave Jamie a kiss on lips, just a simple peck, and headed to the bathroom.

Jamie picked up his phone to text Danny, "Hey, enjoyed having beers tonight. You are the best husband and father, I hope when Eddie and I start a family I do as well as you have done. Don't get stressed. P.S. You aren't too bad in the brother department either."

Jamie expected to get a text back ragging on him for being too sentimental, so when his phone chirped he was surprised to see a single smiling emoticon from his big brother. Eddie was right again, and she was waiting for him…in a tub…with bubbles…

 **A/N: Due to my surgery on Monday, this story probably will not update next Friday. I hope to resume updating it the following week and will do my best to conclude season six before season seven starts even if I have to post more than once a week.**

 **My other two stories are prewritten and will continue to update during this week.**

 **Next Update – Eddie and Jamie lament about the rough tough creampuff.**


	45. Friend in Need

"Rough tough cream puff really said he planned on resigning?" Eddie asked for the fourth time since Jamie came home from beer with Danny. "And you are actually going to try to talk him out of that? The guys is a menace, he's macho, he's dangerous, he's a jerk…"

"Momma bear much?" Jamie laughed as he pulled Eddie into his lap. "You were so cute the other day though when he and I were going toe to toe."

"Yeah, well he was messing with my partner and my man, so there was no way he wasn't going to get off that easy," Eddie replied. "Besides, I knew what you were going to be like with that kid getting hurt so badly. Whenever it's kids you turn yourself into a pretzel. That, my love, is part of your charm."

Jamie tucked Eddie's head under his chin, "I just feel bad when innocent people get hurt and yes, it's worse when it's kids."

"You are going to be a great father," Eddie told Jamie. "Even with all of the mess surrounding Marcus, even with him being a total ass you still worked really hard to give him every chance. When I saw your eyes today in that bank today…you looked like you were going to blow an Irish gasket."

Jamie snickered at her, "Me? What about you? You were ready to rip his eyes out of his head if I didn't walk you back."

"He made you have to fire, Jamie," Eddie sighed. "And I get scared every time you have to fire. You get so worked up and upset, your blood pressure skyrockets and…"

"I'm a cop, Eddie," Jamie soothed. "I'm a cop and those thing happen when you have a shoot. You only had the one shoot, sweetheart and it was a fatality. You know what though?"

"What?" Eddie asked her mind instantly going back to her shooting, one of the most traumatic days of her life.

"If not for that day, we would never be here. That day gave us the courage to speak to each other, to reveal to each other that we loved one another. That was a good day in my book," Jamie explained with a smile.

Eddie simply sighed. Jamie knew that day still haunted her. Jamie wrapped his arms around Eddie and gave her a little rock. "Why do you do that?" she asked enjoying the feel of his arms.

"Why do I do what?" Jamie asked gently holding her.

"Rock like that."

"Just my way of saving I love you, I'm here to protect you, I guess," Jamie replied.

"I like that you do that," Eddie replied. "Out there on the job, we have to stand on our own. Support each other yes, but we can't always protect each other like this."

"I shot as quickly as I did to protect you and all the people in that bank," Jamie replied. "Even Marcus…"

"Rough tough cream puff," Eddie grumbled.

"Anyway, the beers with Danny ended with me saying I'd give it one more try, maybe the kid learned a lesson from today nearly getting killed."

Eddie stiffened in Jamie's arms.

"What?" Jamie asked reading the signal.

"You didn't think maybe we should talk about that?" she asked. "He's a loose cannon and maybe before you're riding with him again, we should have discussed it a little."

"We're discussing it now," Jamie defended.

"You already said yes to Danny," Eddie countered turning so she was facing Jamie.

"I did, but Danny knows about us, I could explain to him that you're upset about the idea and…"

"And back pedal," Eddie sighed. "No, you're stuck now but you should have considered me and should talk to me about things like this in the future."

"All right," Jamie replied. "I will, especially with Danny since he's in the loop with us. I'm sorry, I didn't think of it like that, but I do believe that Marcus learned something. If he didn't, the first reckless thing he does, I'm out, okay?"

Eddie smiled, "Okay, just so long as you know that you have no reason to prove anything to anyone. You're an amazing cop and you don't have to stand up or out to show Danny or anyone that simple truth."

"Still on patrol though," Jamie sighed. "And not even moving up."

Eddie slid out of Jamie's arms and went to her purse, "Sergeant exam guide. You are made to be a Sergeant. You're smart, patient, capable…take this test, lambchop. Take the test, ace it, and no one will say a word if you get a promotion."

Jamie smiled, "All right. You win, I'll sit for the test. I know too that we can go public if I get a promotion away from the twelfth. I'm getting closer to being ready for that."

Eddie smiled and kissed Jamie on the lips, "Good because I'm almost ready to do that too."

Jamie cracked the study guide while Eddie started a late snack, nachos with black beans, pico de gallo, and melty cheese, a mix of both worlds as she called it. With old Golden Girls episodes playing the background, Jamie and Eddie laughed and ate their snack. When they headed to bed that night, Jamie had a lot of new facts from the study guide swimming in his head, and one sure fact sitting in his heart, Edit Janko was indeed the best thing that ever happened to him.

 **A/N: I loved him being called the Rough Tough Cream Puff by Eddie. She was a star in this episode for sure…We have three weeks to the premier and five pillow talks left so this week and next week there will be two updates for Pillow Talk.**

 **Next Update – September 6** **th** **– Jamie and Eddie discuss bending the rules.**


	46. Town Without Pity

"You feeling any better?" Jamie asked Eddie bringing another cup of tea to his distressed girlfriend. She had been blaming the days of sitting in an apartment with a dead man for her stomach trouble, but that investigation had ended yesterday and she was still feeling sick.

Jamie was already off, and Eddie was set to ride with Kara Walsh, that day to pick up some overtime. He pushed the issue and she agreed to bang in sick.

"Yeah," Eddie replied taking the hot tea from Jamie and sighing at it rushed warmth into her freezing body. "It was just all the unpleasant smells and stuff, and I guess I felt bad too."

"Yeah, but you've done body watch before and you've never gotten sick like this," Jamie reminded her gently.

"Maybe I do have a bug," Eddie admitted. "I sure do feel like I could sleep for a week."

Jamie settled down on the bed and pulled Eddie close. "Take a rest," Jamie encouraged reaching for the Sergeant exam guide and began to read.

Eddie snuggled close to Jamie's hip, lying her head on his thigh. Jamie kept one arm around her loosely stroking her hair. This was one of his favorite type of moment with Eddie, at home, quiet, just being together.

Eddie enjoyed the gentle touch and familiar scent of Jamie as she rested. "Why did you do it?" Eddie asked after a short while.

Jamie knew precisely what she meant, even he wasn't sure. He was Mr. Patrol Guide unless it came to kids. Sandi Harper wasn't a kid, but her grandson was a special child. "Because more harm would be done by me not letting Sandi get some of that money than would be done by my not letting her do it."

"Did you really think I would turn you in?" Eddie asked remembering his cutting comment the previous day.

"No," Jamie admitted. "But we have had logistical arguments like that before so I wanted to deal with the work issue at work and the home issue at home."

"And what is the home issue?" Eddie asked.

"Your upset stomach," Jamie replied quickly. 'You put up a spunky front but I was the one hearing you vomiting. I also know there's a lot more to this, you start doing this when you're stressed out."

"I guess I started comparing Harry Clarke to my Dad in my head," Eddie replied. "He did a really rotten thing, he stole money from a lot of good people, but he did a lot of good things with it too."

"And your wondering if one day your dad ends up like this?"

Eddie nodded, "How much association can I have with him if I'm married to a Reagan?"

Jamie closed his book and slid down to move Eddie closer, "As much as you want to have. We are about family first and while I don't see him being a family dinner that didn't involve a birthday party, you will not have to restrict your relationship with your Dad. I would never make that a condition and if my father did…" Jamie held her tight. "Okay?"

Eddie smiled, feeling safer and more secure cuddled up with Jamie. "Okay…"

Jamie moved his hand and started to rub Eddie's belly. "Does it feel better?"

"It always feels good being like this," Eddie replied. "I love you and I'm so hopeful that when my father gets out, that I can rebuild things…and have us too."

"We are not contingent on anything other than us staying in love," Jamie assured Eddie. "Now close your eyes and rest."

Eddie cuddled even closer to Jamie and shut her eyes, taking long deep breaths before falling into a peaceful sleep.

When Eddie woke, she realized Jamie was missing. She pulled on her robe, now feeling a lot better and found him watching Sports Center. "You slept like a rock," Jamie told her smiling. "How's the tummy?"

"Much better," Eddie replied. "I think the hot tea and TLC was just what I needed. Thanks."

Jamie gave Eddie a peck on the lips, "No worries. I'm just glad you realize now that you can have your family and me too. You don't have to choose. Don't internalize that stuff, that's what got you sick to your stomach. You hungry?"

Eddie gave Jamie a look, he laughed out loud. "Of course you are. You want to walk down and get some of the Chinese beef on a stick you love? It's nice outside."

Eddie though a minute, "You know after the smell that last couple of days, I'm not up for Chinese. Let's go get kebobs instead and that orange smoothie drink you like."

"Kebobs and orange smoothies…God love ya!" Jamie laughed grabbing his keys and her hand and heading out the door.

 **A/N: Yes I know it's not Friday, but I need to finish posting these before the premiere so here is a little bonus. This episode threw a huge wet blanket on Jamko so I worked especially hard to fix that mess.**

 **Next Update – September 9** **th** **– Jamie and Eddie attend an outside event, one which Jamie was expected solo.**

 **The next update following this will be the 12** **th** **, the 16** **th** **and finally Thursday the 22** **nd** **. After the new season, Pillow Talk will update on Thursdays following a new episode. If there is no new episode that week, Pillow won't update that week.**


	47. Blast from the Past

"How could you, Jamie?" Eddie asked through her tears. "How could you agree to go out with her? And to a wedding!"

"Eddie, I didn't agree to go with her, i just agreed to go." Jamie defended. "So get your best dress and most cutest shoes and we are off to a wedding."

Jamie kissed Eddie, "A little faith, please Ms. Janko. Im going to shower then I'll be ready to escort the prettiest to the wedding."

"How did she even talk you into this Reagan?" Eddie asked as she put her long blonde hair up in a sloppy yet curly bun. "I mean, Mr. Rule Book agrees to a social event with a witness."

"Well, I'm moonlighting," Jamie replied. "Providing security. I need my partner to do effectively and it's far enough away that I can treat you like you deserve to be treated for once."

Jamie pulled Eddie close and kissed the side of her neck. "You are so beautiful and I love how you fit in my arms perfectly. Are you ready sweetheart?"

Eddie smiled, "I just need my shoes."

Marisol was not expecting Jamie to have a date for the event and her dress showed that. It was short and low cut. Jamie stepped out of the car in full dress uniform then walked around to let Eddie out of the car. Her short but shapely legs hit the ground, bare feet in cute but modest heels making her height about 5'4". Marisol was not expecting her personal security guard to have a stunning blonde date.

"Hey," Marisol sauntered up to Jamie and smiled. "Did you bring your little sister?"

"Actually, this is my partner Eddie," Jamie replied. "She's going to help me out tonight keeping you out of trouble."

"I'm really pleased you invited us," Eddie smiled. "Jamie and I don't get a chance to spend much time alone out of work. This is the perfect opportunity."

Looping an arm around Jamie's, Eddie walked inside with him fully aware Marisol's eyes were locked on them. "Want anything to drink babe?" Jamie asked soon as they got inside.

Guests walked passed the couple smiling at their genuine affection for each other. "I'm good for now, wow look at this," Eddie let out a whistle at the expensive looking decorations.

Holding hands Jamie gave Eddie a smile and a soft kiss. "I'm going to walk around a bit I'll be back okay." Eddie took a deep breath the kiss making her knees shake.

When they pulled away Eddie looked up to meet his eyes. "You better..." Chuckling Jamie made his way through the crowds of guests turning to look in all directions.

Jamie found the cocktail bar and made two small plates up before returning to Eddie's side. "Here, I know you're always hungry," Jamie laughed. "Most of this is spicy."

"I love spice," Eddie replied taking a bite of a marinated chicken wrapped in bacon. "Oh, Jamie this is so good!"

Jamie smiled, "I am so sorry we don't have more time together that is like this."

"We can if you'd come to terms with us breaking apart as partners, so we can be a couple," Eddie replied taking a bite of a sausage roll. "Oh, Jamie, this food is incredible. We have to find a Brazilian restaurant in one of the places that we can actually go to."

"They have a great one in Jersey," Jamie told her. "We'll go next week."

Eddie smiled and finished her plate. She cuddled up to Jamie holding his hands in her own, "Let's dance."

Across the party, Marisol stood with her cousins. "Who are those two people?" was the major question of the day.

"I thought he was single," Marisol replied. "He's got a pretty blonde girlfriend."

"You're prettier than she is, you can snag him," Angela offered in encouragement.

"Maybe if that was all but it's not, he's in love with her. Besides….look at the way they fit."

Jamie and Eddie danced another hour before thanking their hosts and heading for home. Eddie took her shoes off and carried them in the house. Jamie carried Eddie inside kissing her and stroking her hair as they walked to the bedroom. "You're going to be a beautiful bride someday," Jamie whispered.

"I hope so," Eddie replied. "Ever girl's dream to be Cinderella on her wedding day or Cinderella's stepsister cause today's bride was no princess."

Jamie laughed, 'You have a way with words, Janko." Jamie set Eddie on her feet and began to kiss her up and down as he removed her dress and undergarments. Jamie nibbled her breast a little and Eddie sighed, "You have a way with a lot of things."

Jamie smiled and laid her down, leaning over her, planning to show her just how precious she was to him.

 **A/N: I know some of my readers read this when I posted it by accident, sorry for that. For those that did not enjoy this, for those that did, please enjoy again.**

 **Next Update – September 12th – Jamie and Eddie discuss going public and edge closer to that step in the wake of Nikki's kidnapping.**

 **The next update following this will be the 16** **th** **and finally Thursday the 22** **nd** **. After the new season, Pillow Talk will update on Thursdays following a new episode. If there is no new episode that week, Pillow won't update that week.**


	48. Down the Rabbit Hole

"I'm so glad Nikki is safe and sound," Eddie told Jamie lying against his chest.

"So am I, believe me and I am glad that Officer Phillips was right there by her side, I am just worried. This guy did a number on Danny. He shot him and there was no gun, Eddie, no gun."

Eddie laid across Jamie's body, "I know honey, but he was a serial killer, there was proof. Try to relax a little bit. Even making love didn't settle you tonight."

Jamie stroked Eddie's arm, "I'm sorry. My mind was not in that, but speaking of being uptight, weren't you sick again earlier?"

"That is nothing, I am getting myself worked up over nothing. I have always had this issue, don't worry about me, try to rest. I am going to have some ginger ale."

Jamie dozed off while Eddie got her drink. He felt the bed dip when she slid back in. "As soon as things settle down with the family and the city, I want to being is out of hiding. Today we worked as a team to locate Nikki and it felt good. We can still be a team even if we aren't partners." Jamie kissed her head.

"Okay," Eddie replied. "If you are ready then I'd love to come out of the shadows, but I don't want an open house, I like our privacy. That's one thing I'm worries about, I'm not sure I'm ready for our business being their business."

"We really aren't in each other's business like that," Jamie replied to Eddie's rolled eyes. 

"Says the man who practically blew a gasket when he found out his niece was dating, never mind that he's a cop and a good one at that," Eddie replied.

"She never let us know, she's always so damn secretive," Jamie sighed. "And my name is Jamie, you know? Not Uncle Jamie. Danny is Uncle Danny, but I'm plain old Jamie…"

Eddie stroke Jamie's hair, "I agree just from the small amounts of time I've spent with her that she could have benefitted immensely from Supernanny, but if it's bothering you, Jamie, speak up. If your sister has a problem with you doing that, screw off. I'm not going to be part of a family that doesn't see you for the man you are."

Jamie turned his head and kissed Eddie's lips three times. "Lie down and try to get some rest. How's the belly?"

"It's much better, thanks," Eddie replied. "You are tied up in knots, take a breath. I'm fine, Nikki is fine. And going public…We'll talk about it."

Jamie leaned up on his elbow, "Are you really that unsure Eddie? About my family?"

"I guess I just never had that kind of family and it's very intimidating for me Jamie, I don't want to have the loneliness that I had all my life but I also don't want a revolving door of people and opinions."

"I'll hold it down," Jamie replied. "My grandfather really likes you even as my partner, if he senses something is making you uncomfortable he'll be all over it and I will too."

Eddie laid her head back down on Jamie's chest again. "Okay, I will have to trust you I guess. It's intimidating…I love it just being you and me sometimes you know?

"Oh it will be," Jamie promised. "It will be. I promise we'll have our life with the family and we'll have our life separate and apart too."

Jamie felt Eddie relax against him. He texted Danny, "Here if you need me big brother."

Danny did not text Jamie back.

The next morning, Eddie was up before Jamie having slept better in his arms than he had slept. Eddie already started coffee and was scrambling eggs. "You slept well when you finally slept. Serbian style eggs today."

Jamie gave Eddie a kiss and took his cup of coffee. "What makes them Serbian?"

"Bacon, onions, tomatoes, some secret spices," Eddie replied. "Is this not acceptable Reagan?"

"Oh, it's fine," Jamie replied. "I enjoy your cooking and I enjoy you. After last night, I'm more sure it's time…"

Eddie nodded her head and sat down with a cup of tea instead of her usual coffee. Jamie raised an eyebrow, "Will help my stomach, I do this time to time, no worries."

Jamie sighed, but couldn't help but worry when his human garbage disposal girlfriend failed to clean her plate.

 **A/N: Another one down, only two more episodes to go..hope you're still enjoying this insiders journey.**

 **Next Update – September 16** **th** **– Danny helps Jamie keep his secret at the Union Dance Ball.**


	49. The Extra Mile

"Okay, Kid, go find your girl," Danny said patting Jamie on the back when they reached the Police Union Party. "I will run interference for you."

Jamie smiled at his big brother, "Thanks Danny. Oh there she is…isn't she the prettiest woman you've ever scene?

Danny laughed, "She's a very attractive woman, and if you think she's the prettiest woman, I say you better think about separating as partners and sealing the deal. That, my dear brother, is love."

Eddie was wearing a short, red cocktail dress. Her blonde hair was swept up in a curly bun, much like she wore the wedding a few weeks earlier. Her make-up was perfect to accentuate her lovely features and her jewelry understated but elegant. Jamie headed over to her and kissed Eddie's hand, they could sell that one much more easily. "You look so pretty," Jamie told her gently. "How are you feeling? Did that oatmeal pack help?"

Eddie nodded, "I'm still a little shaky but it helped yeah. I think I'm going to stick to iced tea and calm foods. If it keeps up I'll see the doctor."

Jamie nodded, "Go sit at the table and relax, I'll make up a plate. Do you want lemon in your tea?"

Eddie smiled, "Thanks Jamie."

Jamie made two plates and got two drinks, "Two fisted drinker there, Harvard?" Renzulli asked.

"No, it's for Eddie," Jamie replied. "She's had an upset stomach today, being a good partner, Sarge."

Renzulli raised his eyebrow, then looked over to see Danny sitting by Eddie. Jamie breathed and internal sigh of relief. Danny was going to run interference for them. Renzulli approached the table, "How you feeling Janko?"

"I had a stomachache and Jamie is just over reacting," Eddie laughed. "Oh, is that scallops in bacon?"

Jamie smiled, "I think she's doing better Sarge." Jamie served the plates and sat down next to Eddie sipping his beer.

Soon Baez joined Jamie and Danny at the table making the partners sitting together seem a little more natural. Jamie watched Eddie eat and sat rigid until Renzulli headed for another part of the room. "That made me so nervous," Eddie laughed. "It was crazy, what did he expect us to do make love in the middle of the booth?"

"Wait a second, you two…" Baez gasped in shocked. "Danny, did you…"

"Yeah, I've known for months," Danny replied. "Keeping the kids secret until he's ready."

"How long have you two been together?" Baez asked. "I won't say a I word, I promise."

"We're together over a year," Eddie replied. "I had shot and killed someone, Jamie came over to help me through that and…we gave into feelings we'd had for a long time. I wouldn't change a thing either because I think that we're getting to know each other without other influences."

Jamie smiled, "It is the best thing that happened to me in a long time, and we appreciate Danny's and now your discretion. We are discussing requesting change in the very near future."

Eddie nodded, then suddenly turned white. "Jamie move…"

Jamie hurriedly got out of Eddie's way as she ran to the ladies' room. "Detective can you please…"

Baez nodded and headed to check on Eddie. "She's been doing that on and off for weeks," Jamie sighed. "She says it's nerves but…"

"A mad dash like that…has she suspended sex for her monthly recently?" Danny asked.

"No, but Eddie's on the pill and she doesn't have very heavy…" Jamie's face paled. "All I can say is if she is, please let it be okay this time. I'm not sure how she'll handle losing another one."

"Just take good care of her," Danny advised. "That's the best you can do Kid."

Eddie and Maria returned with Eddie looking a few shades paler. "You're stomach hurting again? You want to go home and rest?"

Eddie nodded, "Yeah, I can get a cab, you stay and have fun."

"No, you're not going home alone if you feel sick," Jamie said firmly. "I'll…We'll get caught if I take you."

"I'll take her," Danny offered. "You can come out after that and go home. I've taken care of sick ladies before, I got it."

Jamie thanked his older brother and watched as Danny helped Eddie on with her coat and drove her towards Jamie's apartment. Danny stopped at the drug store for some medication for Eddie's stomach and a pregnancy test. "I'm not a first grade detective for nothing!"

Eddie smiled, "I'm just not ready to tell him yet. It's not definite yet and I don't want him to get his hopes up or get upset because we're not ready to go public just yet. Please Danny…"

"Tell him soon, he'll give himself an ulcer thinking you have one…" Danny told Eddie as they pulled up to the apartment. "Take the test, see the doctor, and go from there. You need anything else give a yell."

Eddie headed inside with the pregnancy test in her hand. She stuck it in her underwear drawer and laid down on the bed pulling her legs up to her chest. She heard Jamie come home a half hour later and felt him snuggle up to her in their bed. Eddie feigned sleep, not ready to discuss anything with Jamie, just needing to feel safe and secure with is arm around her or them, whatever the case maybe.

 **A/N: Almost done with season six. Hope you have enjoyed this little twist. Please tell me what you are thinking, should I continue with the secret or should I take them public but still use the episodes as backgrounds for their discussions. I will consider everyone's opinions before deciding.**

 **Next Update – September 22** **nd** **– Jamie and Eddie cherish each other's lives considering the shooting of Officer Hayes.**


	50. Blowback

When Jamie retrieved Eddie from where she was waiting in the car, he was beaming. "I can't think of a better time for us to tell the family. We've had such a good day for law enforcement, my father is over the moon with pride in us and in the city."

Jamie pulled Eddie into a firm hug, "Come inside. Nothing will please Dad and Pop more than the prospect of a new Reagan."

Jamie covered Eddie's still flat belly with his hand. They'd known for a few weeks they were expecting a child, and Jamie had worked diligently with his therapist to get ready for this moment. When the shooting took place and things had blown up inside the Reagan family, Eddie and Jamie both agreed to wait until the unrest had quieted. Today was finally the day.

Jamie leaned down to place a gently kiss on Eddie's hand, "You ready?"

Eddie nodded, "Let's do this. I hope they aren't too angry."

Jamie pushed open the side door, and took Eddie to the living room. "We have room for one more?" Jamie asked as Frank, Henry, Erin, and Danny sat drinking whiskey.

"Office Janko," Frank greeted. "Is everything all right, Jamie?"

Jamie smiled and moved so his family could see that he and Eddie had joined hands. Frank smiled at that, "Oh I see, you're here to request new partners at last. Who's day was it in the pool, Pop?"

"Uh, actually Dad, Eddie and I have been seeing each other for almost 18 months," Jamie confessed.

Henry sat down heavily, "Well, I'll be. I won't ask why you hid it, I know why you did that, but what I don't know is why now?"

Eddie felt her stomach lurch and she held tighter to Jamie. "Here, sit down, sweetheart," Jamie urged and sat Eddie near Danny, she found him friendly. Jamie could tell she was still terribly nervous. "Erin, would you mind getting Eddie some Sprite?"

Erin smiled, one look at the younger woman told her why Jamie was choosing to take this public now, "Of course." Erin left to get the drink, Jamie knelt by Eddie's side.

"This was my doing," Jamie replied. "I felt the need, especially once we discovered we loved each other…"

Jamie's voice faltered, thinking back to his fear of losing Eddie as he lost Joe. Eddie smiled, "Jamie and I both were frightened that if we were not together out there, you see, we each had he most invested in the other. No one outside of your family had more to lose if Jamie were injured than I did. Jamie felt the same about me, we both felt we were safer together. We honored each other's wishes."

Frank smiled softly at Eddie, "You are a strong partner for my son, I have had such partners myself, it is hard to break up n matter what the reason. I must echo my father then, why now?"

Erin returned with Eddie's Sprite and sat down on her other side, she would have to get to know Eddie and make sure she was fully prepared to be a Reagan woman. Danny would make sure she was ready to be a Reagan cop.

"Well," Jamie replied. "I worked through a lot of my grief and fears, and…while Eddie and I were both okay with denying each other in public, but…" Jamie sat beside Eddie on the arm of the sofa. "Neither one of us is okay with denying our baby. We're pregnant."

Erin squealed, having her suspicions confirmed. She wrapped her arms around Eddie then Jamie, "Congratulations! I'm so happy for you two."

Frank stood up and went to Eddie, "Congratulations. How are you feeling? Are you doing all right?"

Eddie nodded, "I'm a lot sicker this time, the doctor said that's a good sign."

"This time?" Henry asked.

"Eddie was expecting last summer, but by the time we realized we lost the baby," Jamie explained. "The doctor said she's got great levels this time and he's confident."

"Well, son of a gun!" Henry exclaimed and hugged both Eddie and Jamie. "This calls for a toast, except of course our little mother. When he baby comes, then you will taste our family's best blends…"

Jamie beamed as Henry poured drinks, Frank fluffed a pillow and put it behind Eddie's back and Erin began to chatter about Jamie as a baby. Jamie leaned back against the wall with Danny, and clicked his glass to his brother. "Welcome to the club, little brother."

Jamie smiled, "What no kid?"

"No kid," Danny replied. "You're going to be a father, you're not a kid anymore."

Jamie beamed for a second time that night, he saw Eddie immediately accepted into the family and a new respect from his brother. Their child was healthy and safe beneath it's mother's heart and that mother was safe in his arms. There was nothing in the world that could feel better than that, except of course…

 **Six Months Later**

"Waahhh, Waahh.." Jamie and Eddie's foreheads touched as they listened to the musical cries of their new baby.

"It's a girl!" Linda announced and smiled at Armin Janko, who has just been released from prison. He was honored that Eddie has asked him to be there when his grandchild was born.

"A girl," Jamie whispered. "It's a beautiful girl, she's so beautiful."

Linda handed the baby to Eddie, she looked down and sniffled. "This is our Margaret..." Jamie whispered touching the baby's hand as she tried to figure out what just happened.

Eddie shook her head and looked up at Armin, she had discussed this with him after Jamie had agreed to name the baby after Eddie's mother. "No, this is our Mary Margaret…"

Even Frank's eyes were tearing when the Reagan family gathered to meet it's newest member. "You did good, Jamie," Frank praised. "I am so proud of you and your family. Now, you will understand Jamie, now you will understand the love and the pride in a father's heart."

As Jamie looked at Eddie, who was being fussed over by her own father, Jamie smiled, he knew then and there that now truer words had ever been spoken.

 **A/N: Thank you all for following this story since January. I enjoyed doing these post eps for you but as the new season is dawning the sun is setting on this story. I do have plans for season seven post episodes so stay tuned.**

 **Thanks to Lawslave for working with me through this entire story, she's helped me very much when I struggled with wanting to keep going.**


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